Saturday, October 31, 2015

Overall Team Standings (R1, R2) #FTC1516

Overall Team Standings after Round 2
Team # 22 relegated to participatory teams (out of competition, 7 such teams in the championship). Team # 10 dethrones Team # 20. Team # 23 drops 2 positions to number 4. With the help of record table-topping performance in Round 2, Team # 14 jumps from 17th spot to Number 5.  

1) - Team # 10 (Eric & Joseph) - 302/400 (75.50%)

2) - Team # 12 (Frank & Mark) - 291/400 (72.75%)

3) - Team # 20 (Behnam & Karan) - 288/400 (72%) 

4) - Team # 23 (Vibhuti & Manan) - 283/400 (70.75%)

5) - Team # 14 (Ajitesh & Siddhant) -  279/400 (69.75%)

6) - Team # 24 (Kapil & Soumendra) - 272/400 (68%)

7) - Team # 01 (Giorgio & Dharmesh) - 265/400 (66.25%)

8) - Team # 07 (Tadam & Ranjana) - 261/400 (65.25%)

9) - Team # 19 (Dheeraj & Anurag) - 252/400 (63%)

10) - Team # 02 (Amit & Avijit) - 249/400 (62.25%)*

10) - Team # 27 (Deepjoy & Rishav) - 249/400 (62.25%)*

12) - Team # 06 (Manabendra and Rahul) - 245/400 (61.25%)

13) - Team # 25 (Navneet & Vaibhav) - 221/400 (55.25%)

14) - Team # 16 (Akash & Ayush) - 219/400 (54.75%)

15) - Team # 15 (Amit & Rishi) - 214/400 (53.50%)

16) - Team # 26 (Abhilash & Ashutosh) -  213/400 (53.25%)

17) - Team # 13 (Harendra & Ankur) - 206/400 (51.50%)

18) - Team # 17 (Jorge & Ren) - 202/400 (50.50%)

19) - Team # 05 (Dominik & Kuldeep) - 195/400 (48.75%)

20) - Team # 03 (Handika & Vyom) - 181/400 (45.25%)


Participatory / Forfeit Teams (Out of FTC 2015-16)

21) - Team # 22 - (Piyush & Neel) (122 Points)**
22) - Team # 11 - (Yohan & Jen) (55 Points)**
23) - Team # 18 – (Andrey & Jenny) (53 Points)** 
24) - Team # 09 - (Rory & Evans) (45 Points)**
25) - Team # 04 - (Jan & Moinac) (40 Points)** 

Team 8) - Ana Rocio Jimenez Zepeda – Amend Aeson
Team 21) - Anand Singh - Yogesh Amana Yogi

FTC 2015 Team Standings (Round 2)

Epic comeback and new FTC 2015 record by Team # 14 Siddhant Shekhar and Ajitesh Bohra. Team # 10, Team # 12 maintain their overall lead. 2 New teams in Top 5 list are Team # 01 (Giorgio and Dharmesh), Team # 24 (Kapil and Soumendra)

Team # 01 (Giorgio & Dharmesh) - 140/200 (Rank # 5)

Team # 02 (Amit & Avijit) - 121/200 (Rank # 10)

Team # 03 (Handika & Vyom) - 83/200 (Rank # 20)

Team # 05 (Dominik & Kuldeep) - 108/200 (Rank # 18)

Team # 06 (Manabendra and Rahul) - 133/200 (Rank # 8)*

Team # 07 (Tadam & Ranjana) - 133/200 (Rank # 8)*

Team # 10 (Eric & Joseph) - 165/200 (Rank # 2)

Team # 12 (Frank & Mark) - 155/200 (Rank # 3)

Team # 13 (Harendra & Ankur) - 116/200 (Rank # 13)

Team # 14 (Ajitesh & Siddhant) - 174/200 (Rank # 1)

Team # 15 (Amit & Rishi) - 94/200 (Rank # 19)

Team # 16 (Akash & Ayush) - 113/200 (Rank # 15)*

Team # 17 (Jorge & Ren) - 117/200 (Rank # 12)

Team # 19 (Dheeraj & Anurag) - 118/200 (Rank # 11)

Team # 20 (Behnam & Karan) - 134/200 (Rank # 7)

Team # 23 (Vibhuti & Manan) - 139/200 (Rank # 6)

Team 24 (Kapil and Soumendra) - 153/200 (Rank # 4)

Team # 25 (Navneet & Vaibhav) - 113/200 (Rank # 15)*

Team # 26 (Abhilash & Ashutosh) - 110/200 (Rank # 17)

Team # 27 (Deepjoy & Rishav) - 114/200 (Rank # 14)


Participatory / Forfeit Teams (Out of FTC 2015-16)

21) - Team # 22 - (Piyush & Neel) (122 Points)**
22) - Team # 11 - (Yohan & Jen) (55 Points)**
23) - Team # 18 – (Andrey & Jenny) (53 Points)** 
24) - Team # 09 - (Rory & Evans) (45 Points)**
25) - Team # 04 - (Jan & Moinac) (40 Points)** 


Team 8) - Ana Rocio Jimenez Zepeda – Amend Aeson
Team 21) - Anand Singh - Yogesh Amana Yogi

Thursday, October 29, 2015

Round 2 - Team # 05 (Dominik & Kuldeep) #ftc1516

The Industrial world! Look at its splendours! See the cotton mills in England, with the cloth being deported all around the world after being rolled from the factory floors, ready for many a lady’s fine dress, a fine man’s waistcoat, a young child’s bed covers. See the steam engines rolling down the road; the future of our world! Look how they pump the oil from the ground in Texas, the lifeblood of the nation. And there, in the distance! The suspension bridges are rising to show how we’ve conquered the world, connecting us to the entire world.

Out on the blue of the ocean, can you see it? The steam driven ship comes ever nearer, as her land based brother does, bringing her cargo of coffee and sugar. And there on the horizon, there are the trains on their newly laid tracks. And the chimneys of our iron mills will sprout over every corner of the globe. Is it not spectacular?

Of course, while all you ponses sit up there on your high horses, sipping on your nice tea and coffee, lauding over your ‘great empire’, we’ve got to stay down here, in the mines, digging up the coal that fuels your magnificent machines, where the old men go blind, the children die, and the women lose their unborn children before they even leave the womb. Here we are in your precious linen factories, losing our fingers as the machines slice them off, starving from the low wages.

And where did your money come from to build so many grand places? Ah yes, the colonies, where the slaves do your work, picking and sewing in the sun and mud, whipped for no reason other than their skin colour’s not the same as yours. And their women? You know what, I don’t even want to think about it.

It’s not just the industries your funding is it though. You’ve got those wars too. America wants independence, but England’s not going to give it up just like that, and they’re going to spend a hell of a lot to keep it. And France? Ol’ Bonny just won’t die will he. I suppose Wellington’ll get him soon, but then what? The soldiers’ll come back and we’d all be out of a job. And there’s India too, but what did you expect after all those years of oppression.

As you read this on your computer screen, you may think to yourself “at least it’s not like that now!” Think again.

Even now, there are wars waging in foreign countries. Even now children are dying from hunger because their parents have been killed or are unable to earn enough money to pay for even the smallest of meals.

You think, as you drink the cheep coffee bought for £1, as you look at your watch, play with your expensive necklace and text on your disposable phone, think of the workers who get paid pennies for the sugar cane that sweetens your drink, that risk their lives in unstable tunnels searching for precious stones that fit in your time pieces, who become poisoned by the mines they work in, the children who scrounge around in scrap heaps to find the small bits of metal that is worth their living.

Think about it.

The Industrial revolution is over, but some things will never be.


Abstract and thought-provoking! Really liked how the ending put it all in perspective with today's life. Sketch compliments the writeup. (Not as per the given theme)

Rating - 108/200

Total Points after 2 Rounds - 195/400 Points

Judge - Mohit Trendster

Round 2 - Team # 20 (Behnam & Karan) #ftc1516

*) - ट्रैजिक त्रिकोण

"मेरी बूढ़ी आँखें धोखा नहीं खा सकतीं! यह काला पानी और हवा में फैलता कोहरा मैं पहले भी देख चुका हूँ. ध्यान  से सुनो, यह सनाटा मौत के तूफ़ान की चेतावनी है क्यूँकि यह जहाज़ अपनी कब्र की तरफ बढ़ रहा है."

नोवा नामक इस जहाज़ में सफर कर रहे सभी यात्री यह बात सुन कर और घबरा गये और अपने हाथों व पैरों में बंधी ज़ंजीरों को हिला कर शोर मचाने लगे. नोवा एक स्लेव शिप थी जो पुर्तगाल से खरीदे हुये गुलामों को अमेरिका छोड़ने जा रही थी. नोवा को यह यात्रा ५० दिनों में पूरी करनी थी पर आज सफर का ६८वां दिन था. यह सफर नोवा के लिए काफी घातक साबित हो रहा था, ३०० गुलामों में से सिर्फ २० ही ज़िंदा बचे थे, बाकी के गुलाम समुंद्र की जानलेवा बीमारीयों का शिकार  गये थे. नोवा के क्रू की भी यही हालत थी और शिप के कैप्टेन सोलोमन के लिये मुश्किलें बढ़ती जा रही थीं.

नोवा के डेक पर बने मास्टहेड पर चढ़ा हुया जोनस समुन्द्र के हर ख़तरे की खबर देने के लिए तैनात था. अचानक उसने ख़तरे की घंटी बजा दी और उसकी चीखों ने पूरे डेक को भर दिया।

जोनस - "कैप्टेन, कैप्टेन! जल्दी बाहर आइए."

सोलोमन दौड़ते हुये अपने अध्यन कक्ष से बाहर निकले।

जोनस - "अनहोनी हो गयी है कैप्टेन! ना जाने कहाँ से इस धुंध ने वातावरण को ढक लिया है. शिप को वापस मोड़ लीजिये!"

डेक पर मौजूद रेमी जोकि नोवा का सेकंड इन कमांड था, जोनस की बात सुन कर चिल्ला उठा.

रेमी - "पागलों  जैसी बातें मत करो. पोर्टो रिको पोर्ट से हमें बताया गया था कि मौसम साफ रहेगा. ये कोहरा मॉनसूनी बादलों के कारण हुया होगा और जल्दी ही हट जायेगा। वैसे भी पोर्टो रिको वालों ने नोवा की सूचना अगले पोर्ट तक पहुँचा दी होगी, हमें बढ़ते जाना चाहिए।"

वहाँ उपस्थित डॉक्टर आल्टर ने रेमी के सुझाव में सहमती जतायी। बीमारी से जूझ रहे डॉक्टर ने अपने पीले पड़ रहे शरीर को रैलिंग के सहारे खड़ा कर रखा था.

डॉक्टर आल्टर - "नोवा के ६० सेलर क्रू में अब सिर्फ हम ४ ही शेष बचे हैं. कैप्टेन शिप को अगले पोर्ट की तरफ ले जायो, हमारा खाने की समाग्री लगभग सम्पात है और पानी का भी सिर्फ एक कनस्तर बाकी है. यहाँ मरने से तो अच्छा है कि पोर्ट की तरफ जाने का रिस्क उठा लें.

कैप्टेन सोलोमन - "कैसी दुविधा है! पानी की इस विशाल नगरी में पीने के लिये एक बूंद नहीं। जोनस एंकर लगा दो. मैं अपने बाकी के क्रू को मौत के मुँह में नहीं धकेल सकता।"

रेमी और आल्टर के लाख समझाने के बावजूद सोलोमन नहीं माने और नोवा वहीं रोक दी गयी. अगली सुबह जैसे ही रेमी निरक्षण करने डेक पर पहुँचा तो वो भयानक मंजर देख उसके पैर जड़ हो गए, आँखे फटी गयीं, रेमी की नेत्र एक ही दृश्य दिर्शा रहे थे और वो था मास्टहेड पर बंधा एक फंदा जिस में जोनस की लाश लटक रही थी. रेमी ने डॉक्टर आल्टर को आवाज़ लगायी लेकिन डॉक्टर की जगह कैप्टेन सोलोमन आये.

कैप्टेन सोलोमन - "आल्टर की तबियत काफी गंभीर है. और जोनस को ऐसे देख शायद वो यही दम तोड़ देगा। तुम इस लाश को उतारो और इसे उठा कर गुलामों के चैम्बर में फेंक आयो."

रेमी - "जोनस हमारा साथी था कैप्टेन, उसके लिए एक कफ़न चाहिए। वो एक आज़ाद आदमी था, कोई स्लेव नहीं। उसे सम्मानता से दफनायेंगे।

रेमी की बात सुन सोलोमन की आँखों में खून उतर आया और अपनी कमर पर बंधी तलवार निकाल रेमी की गर्दन पर रख दी.

कैप्टेन सोलोमन - "अपने चारों और फैले इस नीले समुंद्री कफ़न को देखो! एक ही पल में तुम्हारा गर्दन कटा शरीर किसी शार्क के मुंह का निवाला बन रहा होगा, जोनस मर चुका है. अगर तुम अपने जिस्म के लोथड़े नहीं देखना चाहते तो इस लाश को स्लेव कम्पार्टमेंट में दफना आयो."

रेमी कैप्टेन के दरिन्दगी से भरे व्यवहार को देख काफी सहम गया था. जोनस की लाश को कंधे पर उठाये वो स्लेव कम्पार्टमेंट में घुसा और ज़मीन पर बिछी गुलामों की लाशों की कालीन पर कदम रखता हुया उस पिंजरे के सामने आ खड़ा हुया जहाँ बाकी के ज़िंदा गुलाम कैद थे. सभी गुलामों की नज़र रेमी के चेहरे पर थी, वहाँ बिखरी हुयी मुर्दा लाशों पर मक्खियाँ भिन भिना रहीं थीं, दुर्गन्ध से परेशान रेमी ने अपनी नाक ढक रखी थी. जैसे ही उसने जोनस की लाश को नीचे रखा, एक वृद्ध की आवाज़ ने खामोश वातावरण को भंग किया।

वृद्ध गुलाम - "साँस ले लो सर. यहाँ पर हवा मुफ्त है लेकिन ऊपर डेक पर यह कोहरा तुम्हारे फेफड़ों से हवा का हर एक कण निकलने के लिए बेकाबू हो रहा है."

रेमी - "क्या बकवास कर रहे हो? एक शब्द और बका तो अभी अपने खंजर को तुम्हारा गंदा खून चखा दूंगा!"

वृद्ध गुलाम - "इस पानी को ध्यान से देखो! हम बरमूडा ट्रायंगल में हैं. यहाँ पर तुम भी एक गुलाम हो. बरमूडा तुम्हे यहाँ से लौटने नहीं देगा। अगर किसी को मारना ही है तो कैप्टेन को मर गिरायो वरना बरमूडा का पानी नोवा के साथ हम सबको निगल जाएगा!"

रेमी के कुछ बोलने से पहले ही डॉक्टर आल्टर की एक दर्दनाक चीख गूंजी और रेमी दौड़ कर डेक पर पहुँचा। लहूलुहान आल्टर नीचे गिरा कराह रहा था और सोलोमन पानी के कनस्तर को शिप के बाहर उड़ेल रहा था.

डॉक्टर आल्टर - "रेमी, इसे रोको! यह हमारे पानी का आखिरी कनस्तर है."

रेमी - "रुको! रुको! रुको जायो।"

 कैप्टेन सोलोमन - "जल समाधि लेने का वक्त आ गया है रेमी। आल्टर का शरीर पहले ही स्कर्वी ने खोखला कर दिया था, मैंने तो बस उसकी मदद की है, उसके बेजान शरीर में थोड़े से छेद कर के इस पीड़ित खून को आज़ादी देने में."

कैप्टेन सोलोमन ने अपने हाथ में थमी पिस्टल रेमी की तरफ घुमायी और फायर कर दिया। रेमी की जांघ को चीरती हुयी खून सनी गोली नोवा के पास फैले कोहरे में गुम हो गयी और रेमी भी आल्टर की भांति दर्द से छटपटाता नीचे गिर गया. रेमी ने आल्टर की तरफ देखा जो अपनी अंतिम साँसे गिन रहा था और दूसरी नज़र कैप्टेन पर डाली जो हैवानों जैसी हरकतें कर रहा था. कैप्टेन  ने नोवा के चारों और तेल बिखेर कर उस में आग लगा दी. पिंजरे में बंद वो गुलाम वृद्ध आग की लपटों को बढ़ता देख रहे थे.

वृद्ध गुलाम - "बरमूडा का यह पानी हमेशा लहू के लिए प्यासा रहता है. जीज़स हम सबको परलोक में एक आज़ाद ज़िंदगी दे देना।"

नोवा पर लगी आग का बढ़ता धुयाँ कोहरे में समा गया और देखते ही देखते नोवा राख हो गया.


Rating - 138/200

Word limit penalty - Minus 4

Final Rating - 134/200 Points

Ye prayog achchha tha par kuch plain laga, dialogues-narration ne prabhavit kiya khaaskar aapka contradictory emotions ko saath mey pirona. Ship ka sketch sundar hai. 

Total points after 2 Rounds - 288/400

Judge - Mohit Trendster

Round 2 - Team # 27 (Deepjoy & Rishav) #ftc1516

हमें शादी कर लेनी चाहिए" आकाश के ये शब्द मेघा के कानों मे गूंज रहे थे, किसी पुराने गाने के रेकॉर्ड की तरह, पर इसमे संगीत नही था, थी तो बस चुभन। आज ये बात न मानने के लिए, मेघा के मन का एक कोना उसे धिक्कारता तो दूसरा उसके इसी फैसले को सही बताता। कभी यही शब्द उसके लिए एक आशिक़ की तिष्णगी थे, उम्मीद थे,प्रार्थना थी। और आज हर शब्द नश्तर! एक ऐसा नश्तर जो उसके आकाश के साथ गुज़रे अनगिनत सुहाने पलों मे से "इस एक" दर्द देते लम्हे को काटकर, यादों की किताब के पहले पन्ने पर रख देता। वो जब ये "किताब" खोलती , तब ये लम्हा उसके आगे जीवंत हो उठता! ____________________()___________________ " सर्दी की छुट्टियों मे आकाश Navy का Commodore बनने के बाद, पहली बार मेघा से मिलने आया था। दोनो,एक साल से live in मे थे, मेघा की मर्ज़ी से। आकाश तो शादी करना चाहता था, पर मेघा हर बार टाल देती। पर आज कुछ सोच कर आया था वो, मेघा को लेकर जुहू बीच के उत्तरी छोर पर पहुँचा। मेघा वहां एक Yacht देख भौचक रह गयी, और आकाश को मुस्कुराता रहा। मेघा की नज़र मे खुशी कम सवाल ज्यादा आ गए। 'तुमने ही तो कहा था, की सागर पर चलना है सिर्फ मेरे साथ', 'तो तुमने Yacht खरीद ली!', मेघा चीखी और Yacht की तरफ दौड़ पड़ी। 'भाड़े पे ली है', वो जबतक Yacht के doc पर पहुँचा, मेघा एक चक्कर लगा चुकी थी। - 'Its beautiful' 'For You' आकाश मुस्कुराया। मेघा की आँखें आकाश की आँखों मे प्यार देख रही थी, पूनम की उस रात मे सब रोशन था। प्यार, ततपरता सब। मेघा ने आकाश की आंखो मे प्यार के साथ एक सवाल भी देखा, तो उसने नज़रें चुरा ली। पर आकाश उसे बचने कहाँ देता! 'मेरे साथ चलो मेघा,सागर पर, आज की रात को ख़्वाहिश पूरी करने की है" मेघा को कुछ नही सूझा,उसका मन एक कदम आगे जाकर लौट आता। पर आकाश ने जब उसका हाथ थामा तो मेघा का मन बहती लहरों के साथ हो लिया। उसको समंदर का सफर सबसे प्यारा था, सागर का शोर उसे बहुत सुकून देता था, और ऐसे ही एक सफर मे उसे आकाश मिला। एक cruise के सफर का साथी आज उसका हमसफ़र बनना चाहता था। Yacht आगे बढ़ी, मेघा आकाश की बाहों मे सिमट गयी। दूर चाँद इस प्यार की कश्ती के लिए ,पानी पर अपनी चांदनी का रास्ता बना रहा था। मुलायम सी रोशनी मे,आकाश ने हल्के से कहा 'हमे शादी कर लेनी चाहिए' उसके शब्दों मे तिश्नगी , उम्मीद और प्रार्थना थी। आंखो मे बात करने वाला आकाश आज पहली बार मुखर हुआ था। मेघा भी उसकी चाहत से अनजान नही थी, मगर आज ये शब्द 'सुनकर' वो बेचैन हो गयी, खुद को उसकी बाहों से आजाद कर लिया। 'मुझे जवाब चाहिए, मेघा' ' मैं तुमसे शादी नही कर सकती आकाश, फिर तुम्हे और क्या मिलेगा शादी कर के?' मेघा की चुप्पी और आकाश की उम्मीद एक साथ टूटे। 'हमारे रिश्ते को नाम मिलेगा मेघा,तुम्हे सिर्फ girlfriend नही बोल सकता मैं, तुम इससे कहीं ज़्यादा हो...' आकाश बेचारगी से बोला। 'तो मत बोलो, ख़त्म करो रिश्ते को क्योंकि नाम पाकर रिश्ता ख़राब हो ही जायेगा' मेघा के शब्द तीखे थे। आकाश समझा नही। 'तुम फौजी बड़े बेवफा होते हो, शादी करोगे और कल को फ़र्ज़ के नाम पर शहीद कहलाओगे और मैं विधवा! वैसे ही जैसे ताउम्र मेरी माँ रही,मुझे ऐसी ज़िन्दगी नही चाहिए, आंसू-दर्द नही चाहिए मुझे, मैं चाहती हूँ की तुम्हे याद करूँ तो बस हंसने के लिए। मैं तुम्हारी विधवा कहलाने से अच्छा तुम्हारी ex कहलाना पसंद करूंगी।' आकाश चुप था, 'उसकी' मेघा बरस रही थी, हरेक शब्द उसकी उम्मीद की नाव पर भारी पत्थर की तरह थे! वो कहना चाहता था लेकिन मेघा से दूर जाने के डर से खामोश रहा, बहुत अक्खड़ जो है वो। ' but I love You Megha', आकाश लड़खड़ाते हुए बोला,पर मेघा चुप रही। वो चुप्पी, उम्मीद की नाव पर एक आख़री पत्थर था, नाव डूब गयी।" ___________________()____________________ बाहर हलचल हुई तो मेघा की तंद्रा टूटी, शायद आकाश लौट चुका था उसने खिड़की से झाँका, हां आकाश लौट चुका था, तिरंगे से लिपटे एक बक्से में। मेघा दुख से ज़्यादा आत्मग्लानी से भर उठी। दर्द तकलीफ और आँसू जब ज़रा धीमे पड़े तो उसके हाथों मे एक ख़त था, लिखा था- "for Megha" ख़त की सिलवटें सुलझीं और दर्द के लम्हे का सिरा हाथ मे आ गया। " Hi Megha, कल कुछ कह नही पाया, क्योंकि ज़्यादा pursue करके तुम्हे और दूर नही कर पाता! मेघा शायद मैं कल ना रहूँ ठीक वैसे जैसे तुम्हारे पापा नही रहे और तुम्हे भी अपनी माँ की तरह रोना पड़े पर जान, क्या तुमने उनके सिर्फ आंसू देखे? उनके चेहरे का गर्व नही? जो एक शहीद की बीवी कहलाते हुए उनके चेहरे पर उमड़ आता हो! तुम्हारे पापा साथ नही थे पर उनके फौजी होने के कारण लोगों की संवेदनाओं का संबल तो था, उसने कभी माँ को अकेला नही किया होगा। मैं उम्र भर साथ रहने का वादा तो नही कर सकता, पर क्या कोई civilian कर सकता है? नही! और मेरे न होने के बाद तुम संभल जाओगी ये वादा तुम भी नही कर सकती, पर अकेलापन तुम्हे खा जायेगा ये मुझे पता है। तब शायद लोग तुम्हे विधवा न कहें लेकिन तुम खुद वैधव्य महसूस करोगी। ख़ैर, जानती हो, ये सागर जिसके ऊपर मैंने तुम्हे propose किया उसी सागर की लहरों की आवाज़ मुझे तुमसी लगती है,लगता है जैसे तुम बोल रही हो! और सागर की नमी जब हाथों मे आती है लगता है की तुम्हारे हाथों को थामे बैठा हूँ। जब तक इस सागर की नमी मेरे हाथो मे है तुम साथ हो! ख़ैर आता हूँ इन आतंकवादियों की ख़बर लेकर तुम्हारी ख़बर लेने, इतनी आसानी से नही मानूंगा! सागर की नरमी लेकर आऊंगा शायद तुम पिघल जाओ। तब I Love You "too" बोलना please तुम्हारा आकाश।" चिट्ठी पढ़ कर मेघा एक नींद से जागी, उसके मन का धिक्कारता कोना अब और चीखने लगा। मेघा चाहकर भी आकाश से नही कह सकती थी की वो ज़िद उसकी नादानी थी, जिसे सुधारना चाहती है! देर हो चुकी थी, आकाश, 'आकाश' सा ही बन गया था! शहीद और मेघा, उसके हाथों की चूड़ियाँ नही टूटीं, पर उसके सपनों का शीशमहल बिखरा! गले का मंगलसूत्र नही उतरा पर आंसू उसके आंखो से एकसूत्र उतरे! माथे का सिंदूर नही मिटाया गया पर वही रंग आँखों मे उतर आया! बाहर का पता नही पर अंदर, आकाश बिन मेघा विधवा हो गयी!


Technically ye ek sea story (nautical fiction) kahi jaa sakti hai par issue ye hai ki wo yahan primary theme nahi dikh rahi. Doosri dikkat treatment mey hai prem samvaad itne lambe khinch gaye ki baaki story plot kuch tha hi nahi. Pyaar duniya ki sabse achchhi cheez/ahsaas hai, tabhi isko universal language kaha jaata hai par as a writer/poet iska treatment aesa ho ki readers wakai juden, bandhan mehsoos karen, unhe aesa naa lage ki aese samvaad to wo roz radio, TV par sunte, dekhte hai. Deepjoy pinups achchhe banate hai, par expressions static lag rahe hai yahan jispar dhyaan dene ki zaroorat hai. 

Rating - 118/200 Points

 Word Limit Penalty - Minus 4 Points

Rating - 114/200 Points

Total Points after 2 Rounds - 249/400

Judge - Mohit Trendster

Round 2 - Team # 12 (Frank & Mark) #ftc1516

*) - Fire

In the midst of a thousand street turns and a million different faces, there lies a green paradise. Once through these gates, the city of London becomes a place, far away. The constant city noise is replaced by rustling autumn trees, as a breeze gently stirs the brown leaves in the grass, squirrels dance. The shadows of the trees offer a retreat. In the middle of the green grass, there is a wide dirt path. A path that has been walked on for longer then the ones who walk on it. As the path twists and turns its way through the shadows and leaves, it leads towards the cry of swans. The water glimmers in the sun as the swans dive to feed beneath the water of the pond.

Behind a curtain of trees, dark brown buildings peek through, wanting their presence to be noticed. The hollow emptiness of windows peer at those who find their path through the trees. The dirty water splashes against the edge of the pond as a swan takes off into the air competing with the roaring of engines above.

A figure approached the pond and settled on a bench under the careful watch of swans.

A faint smell of a smoky fire filled the Man’s lungs. It was dark now, but there was a strong orange glow in the distance. With the sound of crackling and bursting, the man came to notice the animals were nowhere to be seen. Looking up, he froze as the imminent reality became ice inside his heart. In these times of wood what would be left? Few were aware that this city was built to burn. The houses, the markets and carts; all built to burn. The streets were a maze for the trapped, trying to flee an orange plague that was taking the life of the city. The people here knew that plagues were to be feared. They all heard the stories and some had seen the effects of the most feared death. They had all muttered "Black Death" upon their lips in their pasts, and now, they were screaming as the living, orange plague swallowed them.

The Man sat in the orange glow, watching the burning city in the water’s reflection.

It was even darker and there was no fire now. The streets were still. The city was under a curfew; no light was to shine once the sun was set. The Man held his breath as he nervously wrapped a thick jacket around himself. The cold was sinking into his bones. He sat helplessly, frozen to the bench. A siren rang close by and he jumped to his feet. There was a roaring above in the night sky. They had come. A loud noise pierced through the air and rippled through the pond. More explosions rocked the ground and the figure fell to crouch against the bench. He buried his head into the bundle that he made of himself.

Fires had started once more and the orange in the sky darkened. The bombs continued to fall through the thick, heavy smoke. This time, the city could not survive. The figure pressed himself tighter into a human ball. The bombs were getting closer; he could hear them fall through the sky from the planes that flew over in a deafening chorus. Sudden darkness consumed him.

The sunlight hurt his eyes as he opened them. Had he survived? What was left of the city of London? He took a glance around himself. There were no fires, there was no smoke. The tall man rubbed his face and took another slow glance around him. He let out a heavy sigh and settled back into the bench. He jumped at the faint roaring of a plane, and yet another swan took off from the side of the pond. The figure held his face as he convinced himself that it was only a commercial plane. It was a different world to the past.

Who knew, by just looking at this green paradise, that it had survived so much, that it could have burned beyond recognition.
This paradise had survived many horrors in its long life, to become something peaceful and wise. The paradise was unmarked by pain and death and as long as history is made, it will still be the paradise that the people see now.


It's amazing! full of descriptive narrative, it gives a sense of actually being there, sitting alongside the man in the park. Killer bronzish digital painting. 

Rating - 155/200 Points

Total Points after 2 Rounds - 291/400

Judge - Mohit Trendster

Round 2 - Team # 07 (Tadam & Ranjana) #FTC1516

*) - Mysterious Rambo

On the isles of Postasia there was this mysterious and quiet old man. Hardly would he talk to anyone. He had no family, no children like none other on the isles. Often the kids would be curious about him but no one dared to ask him questions. Every evening he would stare at the sea as if it were his lover. He wouldn’t go to feel the waves. But sit on a stone nearby.

One day, Raiku, the little one ended up betting to his friend that he will talk to the old man and come up with his secret. So that evening when the sun was setting low and all the boys were playing Raiku walked on the sea side. Raiku sat by the stone on which Rambo sat. And some time later old Rambo following his monotonous routine came by. The boy had no courage to speak to him. It was Rambo who initiated as was unexpected. But, it was difficult to figure out from a distance what were they talking about. 

Both of them gave number of expressions. For once they would laugh and then would both be intense and so on. Raiku’s friends wanted to listen to them but had to give up.They decided to ask Raiku about the conversation the next morning.

But the next morning,Raiku did not come to play. They went to his home. His mother told them that he had already gone outside to see his friend. Everyone was amused because Raiku had only 4 friends all 4 of whom were waiting for him since the morning. They went looking for him and there he was at the old man’s stone with old Rambo. Everyone was curious. What was it that they had been talking about?
What was the secret? Hence when Raiku started home to have his lunch all his friends surrounded him and bombarded him with questions. Naughty Raiku smiled and said this old man has an interesting story. Do you know this old man is actually a woman. Everyone laughed “ Have you gone mad? Or, are you just trying to fool us like you often fool the rest? You cannot fool us let me tell you well in advance.” Said one of them.

“Why would I fool you? I am telling you the truth. Years ago when our grandfathers went fishing together he was found from the sea somewhere near the door to hell from where no man comes back alive. But he was breathing. They took him to the priest immediately. He remembers nothing of that just the chunks that the people told him. He narrated to me all that he remembers. I can tell you what he said exactly if you want?” They couldn’t resist the temptation so they agreed. 

‘On the other end of the sea there is a continent called Chisunka. It is a land of many riches . It was ruled by the great king Arnold. He was a wise and a just king. Loved by all his countrymen but a few men conspired against him in order to win the throne. Hence they struck him down at his temple gates, unarmed and without a warning.

 They took the crown for themselves. This old man was the king’s daughter and the princess, And his name was Kaira. She was asked to marry Gruera the new king but she refused. As a punishment she was sent on a ship and the men were ordered to throw her into the deepest of waters. On that ship she was kept in the small wooden chamber they would never light it up! She was accompanied by Rambo one of her father’s loyal men and he was sentenced to die with her.

Rambo was the best warrior in the kingdoms of Chisunka, not a single swordsman could touch him and then he was held captive by Gruera. 7 mens guarded him day and night on the ship. The door of his cell would be opened only to serve him food that to once a day. Three men all armoured and armed would go to serve him, such was his power.

It was their 5th night of the voyage when she heard one of the men saying that the next morning they’d be thrown into the deep sea. That night she did not sleep but cried and cried. 

It was past midnight when she heard something, the door opened and a man all bathed of blood was standing in front of her. The smell of blood was like that of death. She closed her eyes and started saying her prayers, only to be woken up with a bang. Her chains were relieved! 

It was Rambo, “not both of us can escape this”, he said. “Hence it has to be you.” He held her hands in his and said the words, the words of some ancient spell. She didn’t feel anything. She thought the spell had failed and when she looked up with the tears of fear what she saw was unbelievable. She was standing right in front of her. There was no time to be awe struck. The woman she could see explained nothing just lifted off a plank of wood and threw it into the water. The bells started ringing. “They know of this”, she said. “Hurry child! jump into the water and hold onto the plank and whatever happens do not look back.” The princess did what the woman asked her to and when she came to her senses she realised that the men had butchered her body. She was him now! Their bodies had been exchanged!

She swum day and night for 3 days but nothing came by and nobody even bothered to look for the escaped warrior. And then when the princess nearly lost all hope and gave up she felt the feather bed beneath her! ”

An awkward silence stuck them all.


Rating - 133/200 Points

 I like the atmosphere of this story, the storyline (and the twist) is great but balanced density of events/scenes is crucial in such pieces and themes to establish the story concept, backdrop and the twists (One-two events were less here). Artwork is okay, no unique details in the sketch.

Total Points after 2 Rounds - 261/400 Points

Judge - Mohit Trendster

Round 2 - Team # 06 (Manabendra and Rahul) #FTC1516

Place:-RAW Field-Headquarters,Kashmir

The MarineCommandos team (MARCOS) assembled for briefing. Director of RAW arrived. He seemed worried.

Director:-The schematics that you guys captured yesterday are highly-classified Bombay-High Oil-Rig blueprints. Bombay-High contributes three-fourth of India's oil production. Any attack on it can severy affect country's economy. Hence, we are deploying you to the Mumbai MARCOS branch.

4-months later

Place:-INS-Rajput Destroyer, near Bombay-High

Operations-Control-Room was blaring with red danger light. Crew-members were busy making calls, studying navigation charts etc. A chopper's sound caught attention of Admiral and Captain. Both headed to upper-deck. 

Admiral:-Welcome aboard Major-Rahul! I am Admiral Vikram-Rathor of Bombay-Rakshak fleet and this is Captain Manabendra-Majumder.
Captain-Manabendra:-Now please follow us.
Admiral-Vikram:-My fleet of INS-Rajput, INS-Godavari and INS-Mumbai was deployed exclusively for protection of Bombay-High. We have been patrolling these waters for past 4-months.
Captain-Manabendra:-An hour ago we received distress signal from Bombay-High. 
Major-Rahul:-So why are we 2-miles away?
Admiral-Vikram:-That's why.

Admiral handed binoculars to Major-Rahul.

Captain-Manabendra:-That burning warship is...was INS-Godavari. We sent it to check the signal. But the 150-MM Rail-Guns, installed on Bombay-High, were hacked by hijackers and used against us. We cannot go anywhere near 2-miles of Bombay-High. 
Admiral-Vikram:-That's your primary-objective. The weapon-control is in the second block of Bombay-High. Reach there and deactivate the weapons.

They reached Operation-Control-Room where MARCOS team were handed respective scuba-diving suits.

Major-Rahul:-Any word of Bombay-High workers?
Admiral-Vikram:-That's your second primary-objective. Rescue them, if they are alive.

By now the team had suited up. Wearing the backpack, they walked towards end of outer-deck.

Captain-Manabendra:-You will be in contact with us during mission.

Place:-Bombay-High Oil-Rig

Swimming several miles at stretch is piece of cake for MARCOS. It took 30-minutes for them to reach Bombay-High. There were two hijackers patrolling second-block perimeter. Second-in-Command Lieutenant-Mohit swam silently to other side. There was a brief moment during patrol when both hijacker couldn't see each other. On Major-Rahul's signal, both silently slit hijacker's throat. The team entered second-block. Checking the corners and silencing anyone coming their way, they reached weapons-control-room.

Major-Rahul:-(earpiece)Captain-Manabendra! We have a problem. Control-Panel is destroyed!

The communication was also routed to Admiral-Vikram. Captain-Manabendra was in front of computer-terminal through which he was able to coordinate all activities of warship. 

Admiral-Vikram:-The weapon-system has separate power-grid. It is situated just below the control-room. 
Captain-Manabendra:-Cutting off the power can do the trick.

Major-Rahul reached below control-room and turned off the power.

Major-Rahul:-(earpiece)Weapons are down! We'll now search for survivors.

Place:-INS-Rajput, near Bombay-High

Admiral-Vikram:-The weapons are down. Fire the engines!

The message was conveyed to INS-Mumbai also. Within minutes both reached Bombay-High. But they were unaware of danger lurking beneath them. A group of 3-scuba-divers silently approaced INS-Mumbai. They planted timed-charges at bilge of ship. INS-Mumbai burst into flames. Nobody could've survived the blast.

Captain-Manabendra:-(shocked)What happened?

Admiral-Vikram, being the experienced officer knew exactly what had happened.

Admiral-Vikram:-Somali-Pirates! They are beneath us! Release Depth-Charges NOW!

Chief-Officer followed the orders without hesitation. The depth-charges didn't bode well for pirate scuba-divers. But this was only beginning. Pointing towards far horizon, Captain-Manabendra passed binoculars to Admiral-Vikram. An armada of pirate-frigates were headed their way! Without any warning, pirate-warships launched missiles in unison.

Admiral-Vikram:-(ordering)Arm the anti-missiles. Activate the 60xRocket-Launchers. Ready the torpedos. 

The crew-members got to work. Anti-missiles activated destroying most of the incoming missiles. Few of them still managed to hit the INS-Rajput. But damage was minimum.

Captain-Manabendra:-Lets show them what we have got!

One-by-one 60-60 rockets vacated their homes. Even after getting destroyed by pirate-ship's anti-missiles, their sheer quantity turned many frigates to ashes.

Place:-Bombay-High Oil-Rig

MARCOS-team reached boiler-room which was shut from inside.Sudden attack surprised hijackers and they couldn't do anything except for dying. They untied the workers. Major-Rahul informed Captain-Manabendra who sent lifeboats to north-west side. One survivor informed them about a bomb in east-wing underwater-basement. Major-Rahul ordered two team-members to safely escort survivors to lifeboats. He and Lieutenant-Mohit proceeded towards underwater-basement.

Major-Rahul:-(earpiece)Captain-Manabendra! We have found devices attached to support-structures.
Captain-Manabendra:-Describe me.
Major-Rahul:-It'c cylindrical, made of glass. One side has perforations. Inner-chamber is divided into two parts. One part has water and other part has yellow powder.
Captain-Manabendra:-That is an acid-bomb. Yellow powder is chlorine. When timer hits 0, water will produce hydrogen reacting with chlorine producing concentrated HCl.
Admiral-Vikram:- See the bombs are attached to Oil-reserves. These reserves are basically carbonate-reserves. If these come in contact with strong acid, due to reaction, the reserves will become useless. We will never be able to mine oil from this oil-rig.
Captain-Manabendra:-The acid will also corrode these support-structure and whole Oil-Rig will collapse.
Major-Rahul:-So how do we stop it?
Captain-Manabendra:-The bunker-oil that is used in warships such as ours are very viscous and can be used to surround powdered chlorine completely, thereby cutting its contact with hydrogen.
Major-Rahul:-But can't we use the oil mined here?
Captain-Manabendra:-Those are not refined and hence not suitable.
Admiral-Vikram:-We have a spare tank in lower-deck. Luckily, we are not far from your location. Search for spare Standpipes. 

Standpipes are long, flexible semi-metallic pipes used to drill oils. The underwater-basement was close to INS-Rajput location and Standpipe they found too was long enough. Upon connecting with spare-tank, bunker-oil started oozing out. They first filled the acid-bomb with lowest time left. Through the perforations, bunker-oil started covering each-n-every grain of chlorine. The timer ticked to zero. Nothing happened!


INS-Rajput was winning thanks to underwater torpedos against which pirate-frigates had no answer. Suddenly, remaining two pirate-frigates stopped firing and started moving in opposite direction.  

Chief-Officer:- They are retreating..We won!

Admiral-Vikram:-No, They are going towards Mumbai coast. They are gonna bombard the coast. They have enough firepower to wipeout half of mumbai population. They must have had this fail-safe plan from beginning. Contact Major-Rahul.
Major-Rahul:-(earpiece)Only 2-bombs are left and with 10-minutes in each. We will find another way. 
Captain-Manabendra:-We’ll be back!

Place:-Bombay-High Oil-Rig

Lieutenant-Mohit:-Why did you lie about time sir. We have only 3-minutes.
Major-Rahul:-Hadn't I lied, they would have spent precious time arguing.
Lieutenant-Mohit:-So now what we do.
Major-Rahul:-We find some way or die trying.

Place:-INS-Rajput, 6-miles from Mumbai-coast

The damaged INS-Rajput was desperately after two Pirates-Frigate. Upon reaching in suitable range Admiral-Vikram ordered to fire missiles. Chief-Officer pressed buttons to adjust missile-turrets to new coordinates. Nothing happened. Horrified, he looked at Captain-Manabendra.

Captain-Manabendra:-Sir, we have a problem. The repititive firing has jammed hydraulics. We can fire the missiles but cannot set coordinates.

This was the test of Admiral-Vikram's experience and leadership.

Admiral-Vikram:-We will manually adjust the turrets! Everybody, on to the top-deck, now!

All crew members, in groups of two, rushed to each of the missile-turrets. The damage to hydraulics meant that it can manually be shifted albeit with lots of effort.

Admiral-Vikram:-We're roughly 1.5-nautical miles..projectile-angle would be 53.4-degree

Collecting every ounce of strength, both groups adjusted turrets to new angle. Admiral-Vikram signalled Chief-Officer. With deafening sound, missile left the turret and headed straight to each frigate. But missiles missed!

Captain-Manabendra:-Sir, we didn't account for wind. With the wind factor..(paused)..the projectile angle will be 57.3-degree.

This time missiles hit! Frigates burst into flames. A wave of joy and victory spread among the crew.However, their joy was short-lived for they couldn't see Bombay-High anymore. Indian Navy won a battle, but lost other.


Excellent cover art by Manabendra, comics with such perfect can't resist buying them Its like I am reading a page break rough draft of a good Indianized 'Commando Comic'. There are couple of Indian publishers like Aan Comics, Aditya Horizons publishing 'Indian war comics series' you should contact them.  It zings, from the good title start to the insightful breakdown into tactical, logical segments but there were many things happening simultaneously which look awesome in sequential art but sometimes create noise, confusion in text so you have to adapt according to the format.

Rating - 142/200 Points

Word Limit Penalty - Minus 9 Points

Final Rating - 133/200

Total Points after 2 Rounds - 245/400

Judge - Mohit Trendster

Round 2 - Team # 22 (Piyush & Neel) #ftc1516

Round 2 Entry not submitted.

Previous Round Points - 122/200

Total Points after 2 Rounds - 122/400

Team can still submit their entry for Round 3 to improve their overall rank in FTC 2015-16

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Round 2 - Team # 03 (Handika & Vyom) #ftc1516

I was four years old on D-Day, June 6th, 1944,I had my cheerios and sliced banana with milk (raw whole milk, not the watered down stuff you drink) and the world was fine by me.

(General Mills introduced on May 1, 1941 originally named CheeriOats. The name was changed to Cheerios in 1945) 

To be accurate…

There was a time when the very concept of human freedom was threatened world wide.

In the mid 1930’s, Japan was already at war in China and southeast Asia, reaching for raw materials.

Heads of State knew Germany was re-arming, violating the treaties after world war one. Intelligent people knew the graveyard of Communism in the Soviet Union was destructive of all human values.

That period of time following the Nazi invasion of Poland, until the Air Battle for Britain, the civilized history of the western world was at risk of being swallowed by the darkside of mankind.

The D-Day invasion could have failed. It is said Eisenhower had a speech ready if he had to pull all the troups back to England.

A totalitarian Europe and Russia and an Imperialist Japan, had they not been stopped, would have sent the world into another thousand year dark ages as Christianity did two thousand years ago.

We celebrate those who stand forth to defend our rights and this day is but one to be remembered.

Many hate war, they should not, it is our defense of civilization.


Good effort, nice perspective-catchy sketch but not enough at this level.

Rating - 83/200 Points

Total Points after 2 Rounds - 181/400

Judge - Mohit Trendster

Round 2 - Team # 23 (Vibhuti & Manan) #ftc1516

*) - Desiderata

Chapter I
The Corsair and The Clairvoyant
The man with hazel eyes, ruddy complexion, and a harsh face threw a pouch of gold coins on the floor. He was ‘Captain’ Longinus Lawless, the infamous corsair who operated off the Frankish coast, a seasoned naval mercenary and, the terror of the seas.
“Where is it, the fabled treasure of Desiderata*, O clairvoyant?”, he asked the woman in front of him.
The woman was Philomena, the fortune teller. Some called her reincarnation of the oracle of Delphi, while some considered her a witch, not only because she was thought to be practising occult, but also because of her bewitching beauty. No one knew her age. One would think she had been around forever.
She gazed deeply into the magical glistening crystal on the ornate table in front of her, and announced: “to the east for the island of Avalon you must go but beware the misty deep waters hold your worst nightmares.”

*Latin for ‘things to be desired’. 

Chapter II
The Flying Dutchman!
Along with a ragtag crew of fifty, united solely by greed, Captain Longinus set sail in Lumière, a magnificent ship he captured years ago. “Eastward, ho!”, Longinus commanded. The ship, propelled by the crew comprising of oriental Lascars and Gaelic Celts, begin to glide. With clear blue skies, meandering frothy waves rolling off on the emerald ocean, and mild breeze, everything seemed to go off on a good start.
For the next seven days and seven nights they sailed and sailed. On the eighth day, an enormous tsunami arose, bringing with the Kraken- the sea monster. The nautical myths of yore were true. The seamen directed all their ammunition towards fending off the monster. Firepower failed to subdue it in the slightest, and it begun to approach the Lumière. Everyone felt their end was near. Few ever escaped post-encounter with a Kraken.
Just then, they heard the loud rumbling sounds of a propeller. A giant ship, of vintage design emerged out of the thin mists. It looked very unreal, flickering like a projection. The monster was extremely terrified of it and dived quickly into the waters, and did not emerge back. The crewmen of Lumière looked at the ship with a deep sense of gratitude in their eyes. The ship had on its hull written: ‘THE FLYING DUTCHMAN’. In nautical folklore it was said to have been lost to the sea while on an expedition to recover the Desiderata several centuries ago.
Captain Longinus ordered his men to fire eleven rounds of cannon to thank and salute their saviour. After the ceremony was over, the phantom ship flickered on for a few more minutes, and then slowly disappeared back into the void it came from. 

Chapter III
Cargo Discharged
The sea is fickle. One fine morning, the weather suddenly turned inclement. The skies turned dark with a terrible tempest raging on, with bucketfuls of rain. The ship rolled on the giant waves like a paper boat in a murky stream. Soon, the situation seemed despairing for the rovers, who were busy emptying the ship off of water lest it flood it. By noon when the rains stopped and the storm passed away, the damage was done. The crewmembers were forced to throw away plenty of goods on board into the sea to lighten the ship, and this included their already reduced rations.
Longinus tried to bravely keep the spirits of his men up, who were clearly discontented with his leadership. The entire expedition had begun to seem very pointless to them, with the prospect of starvation looming over their collective heads. On being demanded to turn back, Longinus, however insisted they keep on sailing forward. The crew then hatched a nefariously desperate scheme. A burden had to be offloaded.
Captain Longinus Lawless was made to walk the plank by coercion. He soon found himself gasping for breath in the sea, and his pleas for rescue were met with laughter and jeers. His men have had enough of him.
Lumière turned back in the direction of the nearest port, which was hundreds of nautical miles away.

Chapter IV
He did not know for how long he tried to swim. At some point, he must have closed his eyes and surrendered to the water which eagerly plunged into his lungs. Yet his eyes were now open and he saw a darkly lit room in which there were mounds of gold bullions and coins, precious gems, and assorted jewels. Was he conscious or was he dreaming? Just then a familiar feminine voice entered his ears.
“Ah, so you have awakened!”, said Philomena, the clairvoyant. Longinus looked at her with disbelief. “You are where you wanted to be, in the presence of what you desired for. You are in Avalon, with riches lying in front of you”, she replied. He had begun to find her very mysterious.
“You washed ashore, as if it were meant to be. I need to show you something.” She asked him to see outside the window where there were hundreds of graves. “These are the resting places of the ones who came in search of Desiderata. No one returned alive”, she paused, and looked at him. “The real Desiderata is not gold, or diamond. It is what is inside you. What you seek is within.” Saying this, Philomena disappeared like she was never there.
Longinus pinched himself in the cheek, looked at the treasure lying around him, and the burial mounds. He stepped outside and sat down on the sands. The unending expanse of the sea, and the vast crimson skies seemed to smile at him. There was not a ship in sight. Perhaps there will appear one on the horizon to take him back, or not. It didn’t matter. The waters had washed his soul clean.
He was home.


  I liked how well divided up this is...Nice job with the vernacular and character development within 1000 words but there were few loose ends and after 3 exciting chapters, all that building, the climax is kind of anti-climactic. Mesmerizing artwork!

Rating - 139/200

Total points after 2 Rounds - 283/400 Points

Judge - Mohit Trendster

Round 2 - Team # 02 (Amit & Avijit) #ftc1516


Treta Yug – 7292 BC:

The battle of Lanka was about to end. The army of monkeys led by Sugreev and bears by Jaambvanth defeated the demon army lead by Ravan.
Destruction of Lanka was hurting Kalush, the only vampire soldier in demon army.
Killing all the monkeys around him, he walked towards the sea shore, away from battle-field.
He saw the sea waves with tears in eyes. His ears that could hear any sound in this world could hear the cheers and the chants of “Jai Shri Ram” in the monkey army. He realized that Lord Ram had killed Ravan.

Looking at the bridge called Ram-Sethu, Kalush thought, “I was born 3000 years ago and I was destined to be a king! I am alive because I am yet to fulfill my destiny! Ravan snatched Lanka from Kuber and established a demon kingdom! Joining the army of Ravan, I fought my first battle for him at Alkapuri against Kuber‘s army! That is when I had the vision of having my own Vampire Kingdom in Lanka! But now Lanka has been destroyed! The arson of Lanka by Hanuman burnt my dream! My vision!”
Suddenly, Kalush heard the familiar voice of his elder brother Alwar, “There is nothing for you in Lanka, Kalush! Please come home now!”
Kalush turned and was surprised to see his younger sister Ragini with Alwar.
Looking at his siblings, Kalush said, “Hanuman destroyed Ashok Vatika! I wanted to impress Ravan by defeating Hanuman, rise to ranks and one day overthrow Ravan! But Jambumaali and Aksh Kumar got the chance! Ravan kicked Vibheeshan! I hoped one day I would kick Ravan like that! Ram and Lakshman killed Kumbhkaran and Meghnaad! I hoped that Ram and Ravan will kill each other in war! I would kill Vibheeshan to become king! But Ram killed Ravan! Vibheeshan is all set to be the king that I wanted to be! Having studied so much knowledge in diverse fields over centuries, I am learned! I am fluent in Sanskrit and Tamil!”
Ragini said, “Being king is not everything! In the end, everyone needs happiness! No joy is bigger than family! Come home! We are family!”

Kalush turned, hearing the sound of a boat hitting the sea shore. He saw ten men coming out of the boat. His vampire senses told him that those men were werewolves.
Hiding behind rocks, vampire siblings heard Avibhuj, the leader of werewolves saying, “My brothers! Ram, the prince of Kosala is here to rescue his wife Sita who was abducted by Ravan! Now that Ravan is dead, Ram will return to Ayodhya with Sita soon! King Sugreev and King Jambvanth were here to help Ram and soon they will also return to their kingdoms once Vibheeshan becomes the king! Their army destroyed more than 90% demon army of Lanka! So we don‘t need army! Once, Ram, monkeys and bears leave, we have to attack the palace, kill Vibheeshan, declare ourselves as rulers, call our army and family and after that, establish a werewolf kingdom in Lanka!”
Kalush had seen enough. Taking a high jump, he literally flew into the sky and kicked Avibhuj on the face. Kalush and his clan were one of the oldest vampire clans in the world. They were among unique vampires that had the ability to walk in the sun. Hence, every werewolf recognized Kalush. They were shocked to see him.
However, Avibhuj was not an ordinary werewolf. His clan was also one of the earliest werewolf clans in the world. They had the ability to turn at will, use their wolf powers in human form and retain their human intellect in their wolf form. Even in his human form, Avibhuj was a skilled warrior with extraordinary physical strength. Kalush and Avibhuj exchanged blows. Both of them had witnessed various battles between vampires and werewolves over centuries. Their punches and kicks had no end. Avibhuj had the freedom to use his transformation power to turn into a four legged wolf or a two-legged wolf-man.

Strangling Avibhuj, Kalush said, “Lanka could not be mine but it will not be yours either!” Avibhuj turned into wolf-man, his throat getting free in the process from Kalush‘s grip by becoming larger. He punched Kalush. As Kalush fall, Avibhuj‘s brother Taraksh and friend Aranyashvan grabbed Kalush started scratching and biting him. Seeing this, Alwar and Ragini rushed towards wolves. Seeing them, Avibhuj shouted, “Brothers! We have to leave! More soldiers needed for these vampires! Run!”

All wolves got back into boat and started rowing it.
Later, Kalush was also in a boat sitting with Ragini, with Alwar rowing it. Ragini asked Alwar, “What should we do if Sursa shows up in the middle of the sea?” Kalush replied, “I will fight her! Hanuman will see there is someone as powerful as him!” Kalush called out, “Come out Sursa!”
To distract Kalush, Ragini said, “Kalp has been bitten by werewolves! We fed him with blood of animals and birds! In forest, we did not have any home! A kind-hearted man Yavakri and his wife Sushila gave us shelter!”
After an eight hours journey, the vampires reached a sea shore. They reached the cottage of Yavakri soon. They found Sushila crying over an unconscious Yavakri who had been bitten by a snake. Kalush decided to heal Yavakri. Yavakri got cured due to the miraculous power of vampire blood that Kalush dropped in his mouth. Sushila was thankful to Kalush.

That night, Kalush was alone when Yavakri and Sushila were sleeping inside the cottage with Alwar and Ragini guarding it. Suddenly, Lord Shiva appeared in front of Kalush and appreciated him for saving Yavakri‘s life. Kalush expressed his desire to have his empire. Lord Shiva granted his wish, giving him a glimpse of future, where he saw the events of Mahabharata, Dracula, British rule in India and his fight with werewolves in Kaliyug.
Seeing that, Kalush said, “My vision is not dead! It is alive! It will come true!”


Rating - 121/200 Points

Nice experiment, but it's not a complete self contained entry. Degree of uniqueness in character traits of vampires and werewolves is less than what we read/see in already established series. 

Total Points after 2 Rounds - 249/400 Points

Judge - Mohit Trendster

Round 2 - Team # 26 (Abhilash & Ashutosh) #FTC1516

                      *) - NAARI SHAKTI

          "maa!!inn sabhi aur aap ki ankhon me aansu??aisa kyun maa??" ek maasum ladki ke iss masoom se sawaal ne uski maa ka dhyan uski aor aakarshit kiya.
          "ye aansu to hamari vijay ka pramaan hai meri bete?" .maa ne dobara apni nazare saamne ki aor karte huye uttar diya.

          "uff maa!yaha to baarish bhi shuru ho rahi hai.bijli bhi chamakne lagi hai.hum sab bheeg jaenge."
bachchi ki iss baat ko sun maa muskayi aur boil-"aaj ye baarish bhi hamari jeet me hissa le rahi hai bhi hamare iss jeet-utsav ki bhagidaar ban rahi hai.badal garaj kar aur bijli chamak kar hamare jeet  ki shobha badha rahe hai."
          "jeet?kaisi jeet maa?humne kya jeeta hai."
          "humne apna samman jeeta hai bete.apni laaj jeeti hai hai,apna gaurav jeeta hai.?"
          "kisse maa?"

          "unn parusho se jo hamesha se hum aurato ko sirf manoranjan ki vastu samjhte hai.hume samman nahi dete ,sirf sambhog ki vastu samjhte hai.jinhe ye lagta hai ki naari kamzor hoti hai,keval ghar samhalne aur purush ke atyacharo ko sahne ke liye bani hain." maa apni beti ki aor jhuki aur uske gaalo par hath sehlaate huye kaha.
         "vo kaun hai maa jo vaha beech me khadi hai?unke hath me talwaar hai aur sabhi unki jay-jaykar kar rahe hai?”

         “vo iss veeranganao ki senapti hai beti.”
         “kya inhone maara hai in sab ko.kisi ko marna to galat baat hai na?kya vo aur ye sabhi bure nahi hue?"
         "bure to tab hoti ye yadi inke atyachaaro ko chupchaap seh liya hota.apne upar huye atyacharo k dand dena galat nahi hot bete isliye inme se koi bhi bura nahi hai.bure to ye the  jinhone devi samaan pooje jane wali nariyo ko apni bhookh ka shikaar banana chaha.unka shoshan karna chaha." 
          “ye log kaun the maa?” uss masoom ne phir se poocha.
          “ye hamare podosi rajya ki sena hai beti.jinhone hamare sainik patiyo ko maarkar humare raja ko haraya hai.ab humara  rajya inke aadhin ghamand me choor inn sainiko ne hum par atyachar karna chaha…. ”

         “kya humari sahayata kisi ne nahi ki maa?”
        “jeevan me aisa samay aata hai beti,jab rakshak hi bhakshak an jaate hai.sahayata karne waale hi atyachaar par utar aate hai. Jaise ye purush..inka daayitva humari raksha karna tha lekin inhone kiya uske viprit . ye iss duniya ki vo kaali sachchai hai jise jitni jaldi samjh lo utna hi tumhara bhala hoga.aise  me apni sahayata swaym karni padti hai .isliye inhe bhi shastra uthane pade.khud sainik banna pada.aur ye ladayi ladni padi”

         “maa!.......agar hum haar jaate to??”
      “kaise haarte beti.jab swayam bhagwaan humare sath hain.bhagwaan bhi unka sath dete hai jo khud ki sahayata karne ko tatpar hote humari ikchha shakti aur saahas ka phal hai jisne hume vijay dilayi hai.”
     “inhone aisa kyun kiya hoga maa?….humne inka kya bigada tha jo ye hum par atyachaar karne lage the??”
      “purush jaati par kabhi kabhi ahankaar haavi ho jata hai ahankaar jab bhi inke sar chhadhkar bolta hai ye bhul  jaate hai ki naari hi hai jo inhe janm deti hai,inka jeevan sanwaarti hai,devi tulya pooji jaati hai,phir shuru hota hai inka atyachaar……..sath hi ye bhi bhul jaate hai ki jo naari jeevan dena janti hai vo nash karna bhi janti hai.aavashyakta padne par Sita se kaali bankar ahankariyo ka naash bhi kar sakti hai.”
      “ab to hum surakshit hai na maa?”

      “haaa bete!!…jis din  naari swayam ki raksha ke liye dusro ki aor dekhne ke bajay aap hi tatpar ho jaati hai usi samay vah surakshit ho jaati hai.dhyan se dekho ye drishya…sambhav hai kal tumhe bhi isi tarah ki samasya se saamna karna pade.aaj se hi swayam ko taiyaar karna shuru kar do.”  Maa apni beti ki har utsukta aur uski shankaye door karti jaa rahi thi.
       “mujhe bhi……..kya ye sabhi kal ko samasya me humari sahayata karne nahi aayenge.?”
       “avashya aaenge beti.lekin sabse pahle tumhe khud ko khud ki sahayata ke liye taiyyar karna hoga.”

         “sahi kehti hai tumhari maa beti.smaran rahe…..hum naariya kisi bhi roop me inn puruso se kam nahi hai.atyachaar sahogi to inse bhi badi apradhi kehlaogi,inhe inke atyachaaro ka humesha muhtod uttar dena.” Senapati veerangana uss bachchi ke pass aakar boli.
          “lekin kabhi hum kamzor pad gaye to yaa kahi inhone hume bhi isi tarah maarne ki koshish ki to?.” Uss bachichi ke chehre par ek darr sa chha gaya.
          “to phir apni laaj ki raksha karte huye veergati ko prapt hona tumhare liye garv ki baat hogi.ek baat humesha smaran rakhna…..ek naari ke liye uske samman se mulyavaan kuchh bhi nahi hota.apne jeevan  ka balidaan bhale hi de dena lekin kabhi apna samman naa jaane dena…..kisi bhi mulya par.agar aisa karogi  tp jis prakaar aaj ye sabhi meri jay –jaykaar kar rahe hai kal tumhari karenge.”

Uss chhoti si bachchi ki aankon me ab chamak aagayi thi.uss veerangana ke kahe shabdo ne uske mann me utsaah,himmat aur josh ka sanchaar kar diya tha.usi samay senapati ne usko apni talwaar thamayi.bachchi ne usse utsaah se upar uthaya.
      “mai bhi badi hokar aap jaisi hi banungi.kabhi koi atyachaar nahi sahungi .aur jo karega uska hasra bhi yahi karungi jo inka hua hai………NAARI SHAKTI AMAR RAHE!!.”


Rating - 110/200 Points

Kahani mey sandesh aur saath mey ye art har daur k liye mahatvpoorn hai lekin kahani cliched, one dimensional chalti lagi. 

Total Points after 2 Rounds - 213/400 Points

Judge - Mohit Trendster