Freelance Talents Championship 2018 Winners

Himanshu Mishra (FTC 2018 Winner)

Chandresh Kumar Chhatlani (Runner-up: Silver)

Dhruv Singh (Runner-up: Bronze)

Details - Nazariya Now Website

Top 10 - FTC 2018

Top 10 stories (Freelance Talents Championship 2018)

1. परित्यक्ता

2. आत्मा का वस्त्र

3. मौन विलाप

4. मौत का घर

5. तोता-मैना की नयी कहानी

6.  इंतज़ार

7. निकिता

8. हट जा रे खड़ूस

9.  बड़ी चप्पल है

10. पहचान

Round 3 - Team # 10 (Eric & Joseph) #ftc1516

Parasitic Prison

Team # 10 (Eric & Joseph) #ftc1516

I remember when I was six that everything was very confusing. Now that I look at it, I was so oblivious to what was really going on in the world and worst of all my own home.

It all started a few days after Christmas. It was one of the biggest and whitest snows that the United States had in a very long time. It was me, my brother Andrew who was eight at the time and understood a lot more than I ever did and my mom, Susan. My dad died before I was born and my mom refused to tell my brother and I anything. Apparently his death was so gruesome that not even my own mom would tell us anything. I mean, I get that much, but whenever anyone mentioned our dad, she would stare at me with this loving but very scared look on her face like I was... Some kind of monster.

When I was six, I didn't know that my mom was sick. She always acted normal around my brother and I. We never thought anything of it until the day that she passed away. We had cats at the time who were sick as well, but when my mom got sick, one of the cats felt better and the other one died outside. My mom tried to tell us that the cat died a painless death, but the cruel truth is that it's body couldn't handle the sheer weight of a car tire. That night, she went to tuck me in bed and all of a sudden she fell over and started to convulse. I tried to wake her up, hoping she would, but she was dead. I went to get andrew and he told me to call 911. 

After being on the phone for an hour and a half trying to describe where my house is, I hear a scream. A blood curdling scream that I will never be able to get out of my ears or even perceive. I dropped the phone and noticed that our dead cat had never been dead at all. Quite alive. Instead of the normal, loving tabby cat that we came to love with its brown eyes and brown and tan fur, it was dark like an abysmal black that you only hear about in fairy tales and scary stories. Instead of the small mouth that a cat usually has, this... organism had a very big jawline from the snout to the chest with rows of thick and knife like teeth. Instead of the brown eyes that looked at us lovingly, they were a bright white, a white as bright as the snow that fell outside of our house. The four legged being standing before me had no legs, but a spiny, grotesque tail with a bone colored and shaped barb.

Frozen with fear, I couldn't move. As the cat I once knew and loved was this... Deformed, crippled, terrifying monster that was slowly slithering it's way to me was surprisingly not aggressive toward me at all. In fact, it wanted me to follow it. Although fear was anchoring my legs, my curiosity made me move again. First we went to Andrew and looking upon his dead body, I saw signs of constriction. As I looked ever so closely, I heard a voice in my head. It told me to not be afraid and to look to my left. I looked and the monster that distilled fear in me was staring right at me. I realized that there's more to this monster than meets the eye. The monster told me to follow it again. This time to my room, where my mother collapsed. The monster, using its body wanted me to look at her. What I saw horrified me: laying on her stomach, I noticed a stab wound that was circular, like a spear went through her. Observing it more, the monster drew my attention to the knife in her hand. The monster said that it was intended for me. I asked the monster why she tried to kill me. The monster said it was because of what I was. 

To explain what the monster said, he said that my dad was a very bad, but very brilliant man. A parasitologist to be precise. My mom didn't know about his job or what he did or where he worked at. When Andrew was born, he took interest in him and after a year, he didn't want anything to with him because he wasn't "compatible". Well, when my mom was pregnant with me, my dad would do all sorts of experiments on her while she was asleep. After a while she caught on to what he was doing and found his laboratory in the basement. She found all of these progress reports about me. She was so disgusted that she lit the basement on fire with some detergent and a lighter. The monster also explained that my father was burnt to death, but he survived through all of the experiments he did on himself. Turning him into a advanced parasitoid that can adapt to any environment, society, and theoretically space and time itself. And finally the monster explained that I am his legacy and that the monster was of my own doing.

I was stunned... I didnt know what to say or even begin to think of all this. Before I knew it, everythin went black. I woke up and I tried to speak but nothing came out. I saw what I became, I was in a parasitic prison.

========================================

Rating - 129/200

Total Rating (3 Rounds) - 431/600 (71.83%)

Judges - Mohit Trendster, Mayank Sharma and Pankaj V.

Round 3 - Team # 02 (Amit & Avijit) #ftc1516

Vladivostok

RECAP:

In Treta Yug, Kalush, a vampire in the army of Ravan had a dream of establishing vampire kingdom in Lanka. After Lord Ram killed Ravan, he gave up hope.

His siblings Alwar and Ragini took him to the house of Yavakri, a man who was taking care of their injured brother Kalp.

Kalush saved the life of Yavakri. Lord Shiva showed Kalush, the future where he would have his vampire kingdom.

Now the story continues:

Treta Yug – 7292 BC:

In the cottage, Ragini was helping Sushila, Yavakri‘s wife with cooking. Kalush returned after chopping some woods for a yagna that Yavakri wanted to perform.

A pigeon perched in front of Alwar. Alwar took the note tied on the foot of Pigeon. He told Kalush after reading it, “Some Anti-Aryan scholars accused Ram of Brahma-hatya because Ravan was the son of Maharishi Visharva! Ram has bathed in a river to cleanse himself, of the sin of Brahma-hatya! People of village close to that river have named the village as Rameswaram!”

Kalush was impressed.

Yavakri started his yagna. Alwar and Kalush guarded the yagna.

During yagna in progress, some demons attacked Yavakri. Kalush and Alwar fought bravely. Within minutes all demons were dead.

Seeing this, Ragini suggested, “Kalp has recovered! We should leave this place! Demons, taantriks (sorcerers and witches) and wolves can turn their attention to this area as long as we are here!”

Brothers agreed. After thanking Yavakri and bidding adieu to him, four vampire siblings left.

Alwar asked Kalush, “Are you going to win all the battles in future as per Lord Shiva?”

Kalush replied, “Pretty much! Because my kingdom will exist in Kaliyug also! And I will have worthy opponents in Kaliyug also!”

Kaliyug – 1442 AD:

In Transylvania, there was a practice hall for sword fight where Count Vladivostok or Vlad as his close associates called him was fighting alone with three swordsmen. Vlad defeated them.

His Chief Minister Vasile Ceausescu arrived and said, “Your Majesty! Domnisoara Zhestakova is arriving in five minutes!”

Vlad left the room with minister. The defeated swordsmen looked on while he left. Spanish swordsman asked the Transylvanian swordsman, “He is a dangerous fighter! Howcome?” Transylvanian swordsman replied, “That is why his enemies call him Dracula which has been derived from the word “Dracul” that means devil! He was born in Vladivostok and hence, he got this name! Born in 1422, Vlad became our king at the age of 20 after his father; our previous king was killed by some werewolves!”

Outside the royal castle, Vlad and Ceausescu saw the arrival of a horse carriage. The door opened and Ukrainian aristocrat Alyona Zhestakova came out, followed by her maid Galina.

Count Vladivostok kissed the hand of Alyona saying, “Welcome Domnisoara Zhestakova!”

Alyona replied, “Call me Alyona! It is honor to meet you, Your Majesty!”

Mesmerized by her beautiful eyes and face, Vlad said, “Call me Vlad!”

Vlad and Alyona had breakfast together and then on two horses, they left to see the scenic forest. Alyona was thankful to Vlad hosting her. Vlad asked her, “Why did you wish to leave Ukraine?”

Alyona replied, “Last year, Haci I Giray founded Crimean Khanate! Tarjan tribes against Haci created problems in Kiev! My father was a doctor who once treated Haci! After my parents were killed, Haci sent me here!” Vlad said, “I should be thankful to Haci! We have something in common! My mother was a Ukrainian!”

The two spent the whole day together and bonded well. While they were returning in the evening, Vlad heard some sound from the bushes. He realized that wolf-men were around. He shouted to Alyona reach castle.

Alyona did not want to go but she was bound to obey the orders of Count in his kingdom. She sped off. Vlad fought the wolf-men attacking him. Alyona was weeping, feeling guilty. By the time she reached palace, she broke down. Galina consoled her.

Minister Ceausescu said, “Be calm Domnisoara Zhestakova! Count Vostok is invincible!” Alyona started wiping her tears when she saw Vlad arriving on the horse. She wanted to run and hug him but in front of everyone, she controlled herself.

At night there was a party in the honor of Alyona. Dancing with Vlad, Alyona said, “Today, I felt that as long as I am with you, nothing can harm me!” Vlad replied, “You are my guest! Your safety is my responsibility!”

After the party, when Alyona was sleeping in her room at night, she heard a strange sound. She opened her eyes and saw a skull flying in the air. Blood from skull was dropping on her bed sheet. She cried, “Vlaaaad!” Soldiers came running with flambeaus in their hands. Vlad woke up in his room. Wearing a robe, he came running. Skull had disappeared and except Alyona, nobody had seen it. There was no blood on bed sheet. Vlad consoled Alyona and helped her to gain composure. After he left, Ceausescu said, “Perhaps she is gone insane!” Vlad said, “I refuse to believe that!”

Next morning, Vlad asked Ceausescu about some spells from different parts of world that could bring supernatural advantages. With complete report, Ceausescu told Vlad about a vampire called Kalush who was secretly ruling a city of seven islands (modern day Mumbai). Vlad wanted to know how Kalush became a vampire.

Ceausescu told a story to Vlad:

*FLASHBACK*

Treta Yug – 10, 0032 BC

Thousands of years ago, Kalush was born to a warlord called Prajwal and his witch wife Aastha! In Aryavarta, witches were known as Taantrikas. Sorcerers were known as Taantriks! Prajwal conquered various tribes and ruled them!

On the day Kalush was born, there was an earthquake in the area ruled by Prajwal. A priest named the baby “Kalush” (blot), saying that earthquake came as new born baby was the human form of malice. Enraged Prajwal killed the priest.

Demons led by Kroorasur wanted to kill Prajwal! Prajwal was a devotee of Shiva! He was performing a ritual seeking blessings of Shiva to conquer demons! An attack from demons resulted in the killing of Hridayesh, the youngest son of Prajwal!

Enraged over death of brother, Kalush planned a ritual to gain supernatural powers to kill demons! Kurupa, demoness in the gang of Kroorasur abducted Aastha and reached the spot of ritual, taking her form to start the ritual! She tricked the sons of Aastha performed a dark ritual of turning them into vampires. Her intention was subjugate the army of Kalush by enslaving them and giving them human blood as a salary. Along with some soldiers of Kalush, Kurupa (in the form of Aastha) turned Prajwal, Alwar, Kalush, Ragini and Kalp into vampires.

Meanwhile, Aastha freed herself from the captivity of demons. Reaching the spot of ritual, she exposed Kurupa. Kurupa tried to flee but was captured and ended up being the first “blood pack” for all four vampire siblings and their father.

Aastha knew various immortality spells. She did not want to lose her powers as a witch by becoming a vampire. So she did not become a vampire but her family became the first vampire family of Aryavarta.

*END OF FLASHBACK*

Kaliyug – 1442 AD:

After hearing the story from Ceausescu, Vlad met Miruna Eliade, a witch loyal to him. He asked whether it was possible for him to posses the vampire abilities in human form as he wanted to kill the werewolf pack that killed his father.

Miruna confirmed that it was. First she designed a mystical sign on the ground and put the deadbody of a man killed by the bite of a bat.

On another mystical design, Vlad stood. Chanting the spell, Miruna cut a bat with knife and made the blood drop on the dead body.

Winds started blowing. Closing her eyes, Miruna chanted:

Evocatis naturae viribus, concedo supernaturalis vires sanguis suckin meo regi ultori

An aura appeared on the dead body and another aura appeared around the body of Vlad. Vlad felt powerful. Miruna chanted another spell.

Sum rex ab eo erunt immortales. Nihil in hoc mundo occidatur.

After the spell was over, auras disappeared. Miruna told Vlad, “According to your stars, strong possibility of death is in 1462! But now that can be evaded!” Vlad asked, “How?” Miruna replied, “If anyone kills you now, you will not die! Instead, you will become a vampire! Right now, you have the physical strength, speed and hearing ability of a vampire! Once you become a vampire, you will get many new powers!”

Vlad returned to castle. He was told that Alyona fainted and was not waking up. Doctor checking on her called her healthy. Vlad suspected witchcraft. Writing a note to Miruna, he sent it via pigeon. He left for forest to test his new powers. Miruna‘s spell worked. Alyona was waking up. She had dream of Vlad getting stabbed. Once awoke, she ran looking for him and saw Ceausescu following her with a knife. In the other direction, she saw Galina who was now aligned with Ceausescu.

The two abducted Alyona and took her into a dark location where a witch called Lenuta Dumitru was performing a dark ritual. Alyona was tied up for sacrifice. Hearing her cries from a distance, Vlad reached there with superhuman speed. Seeing Vlad, Lenuta raised her hand and chanted:

Tenebris potentiis naturalibus non possim te mei estis

Vlad fall on his feet, trying to get up. He felt agonizing pain. Ceausescu said, “I formed an alliance with wolves to kill your father! We tried to kill Alyona as grief would have weakened you! Then I would rule with my coven of witches and my queen Galina!”

Ceausescu chanted:

Naturae viribus dominari permittas evertere regnum rex

Vlad was not an ordinary human now. He threw a knife stabbing Lenuta. Using his speed he ripped of the head of Ceausescu. After that, he stabbed a shocked Galina with his sword.

He freed Alyona who was sobbing. Tightly hugging Vlad she said, “I love you Vlad! Only you can protect me!” Looking in her eyes Vlad replied, “I love you too Alyona! Will you marry me?”

With tears in her eyes, Alyona shook her head in a “yes”.

THE END

(For now)

--------------------------------------

Rating - 142/200

Judges (Round 3) - Pankaj V. (Shaan), Mayank Sharma and Mohit Trendster. 

Total Rating (3 Rounds) - 391/600 (65.16%)

*Final team ranking list after the announcement of all Round 3 Results.

Round 3 - Team # 03 (Handika & Vyom) #ftc1516

Twist

(Team # 03 - Handika and Vyom)

Suddenly..........my body ached for some unknown reason. The side of my face was numb from coldness of the tile floor. I looked around the room to see only faded out lines of furniture. There was no lightening in the room, only from the moon that peaked through the trees outside. I think I woke up in a cafeteria. The room was big, and open. The moon only gave me enough light to see dark shadows of tables and chairs. I stood up from the ground, and brushed off leaves on my shoulders. Is this place abandoned? I heard leaves, and even some sticks, crunch underneath my feet. I put my hands out in front of me as I walk blindly through the large room searching for a wall, or a door, anything really. My fingertips brushed against something warm. I immediately jerked my hand back. My hands shake as I reached back out for the warm, hard surface. Nothing was there. I waved my hand around in the air in front of me. There was nothing there! My feet suddenly launched forward as I ran with my hands out in front of me. I touched something warm, and then it disappeared! It could be anything! My hands slammed into a cold, rough surface. I was more relieved to have my hands stinging in pain from something cold, than something warm. I felt the thing in front of me some more. It was rough like it was wood. I touched something colder than the wood. It was also smooth; it must be metal. I gripped the doorknob and open the door. It was black: there's no light, no out lines of objects, nothing. I actually turned around and thought about going back to the cafeteria. Then the lights flickered on.

The door lead to a hallway. Only the lights turned on in the hallway. I peak my head around, and was impressed by walls. It was a solid red, with golden flowers that floated down the walls. The floor was still tiled with dead leaves laying around. I picked left, and starting walking down the hallway. Was this place a hospital or a hotel? It looked nice like a hotel. Sometimes, a door would come by with numbers on it, and a lock on the door. But then there’ll be a hospital bed pressed against the wall. This building was confusing. What is this place? An insane alyssum? The lights flicker on and off, and my feet moved faster. Something clank to the ground. I spun around to see a dark figure slip into a room. A scream ripped through my throat. I quickly ran into a room, and locked the door. Tears warmed my cheeks as I put the chain lock on, and stuff a chair under the door handle. I looked around the room to see a royal blue themed room. It was much like the hallway but the wall was royal blue, and the flowers were silver. The room seemed old as the dark furiture ha water stains on them, and a typewriter on a table was covered in dust. 

I sat down on the dusty bed, and took a deep breath. The adrenaline left my body as the reminder of my aching muscles came back. I felt exhausted. My eyes were dropping, and felt like anchors. I couldn’t go to sleep. What if that person, or thing, kills me? It’ll be stupid to fall asleep now. Unless, unless I have a weapon to fight back with. I stood up on my numb feet and stumbled into the bathroom. I spotted the plunger. I put on foot on the rubber, and pulled it off with my hands. I stumble back as I held a wooden stick in my hand. I went back to the bedroom, and looked at the bed. I was really tired, but I was really scared. I dropped myself onto the bed, with the plunger stick in my hands. I closed my eyes tight. Shuffle of leaves woke me up. I scrambled up to the head of the bed. I went to grab my stick, but only to find it gone. The door was wide open. I looked around the room to find myself alone. I’m alone? Who opened the door? I looked at the end of the bed to find a blood red rose.

Rating - 94/200

Total Rating (3 Rounds) - 275/600 (45.83%)

Judges - Pankaj V., Mayank Sharma and Mohit Trendster

Round 2 - Team # 20 (Behnam & Karan) #ftc1516

*) - ट्रैजिक त्रिकोण

"मेरी बूढ़ी आँखें धोखा नहीं खा सकतीं! यह काला पानी और हवा में फैलता कोहरा मैं पहले भी देख चुका हूँ. ध्यान  से सुनो, यह सनाटा मौत के तूफ़ान की चेतावनी है क्यूँकि यह जहाज़ अपनी कब्र की तरफ बढ़ रहा है."

नोवा नामक इस जहाज़ में सफर कर रहे सभी यात्री यह बात सुन कर और घबरा गये और अपने हाथों व पैरों में बंधी ज़ंजीरों को हिला कर शोर मचाने लगे. नोवा एक स्लेव शिप थी जो पुर्तगाल से खरीदे हुये गुलामों को अमेरिका छोड़ने जा रही थी. नोवा को यह यात्रा ५० दिनों में पूरी करनी थी पर आज सफर का ६८वां दिन था. यह सफर नोवा के लिए काफी घातक साबित हो रहा था, ३०० गुलामों में से सिर्फ २० ही ज़िंदा बचे थे, बाकी के गुलाम समुंद्र की जानलेवा बीमारीयों का शिकार  गये थे. नोवा के क्रू की भी यही हालत थी और शिप के कैप्टेन सोलोमन के लिये मुश्किलें बढ़ती जा रही थीं.

नोवा के डेक पर बने मास्टहेड पर चढ़ा हुया जोनस समुन्द्र के हर ख़तरे की खबर देने के लिए तैनात था. अचानक उसने ख़तरे की घंटी बजा दी और उसकी चीखों ने पूरे डेक को भर दिया।

जोनस - "कैप्टेन, कैप्टेन! जल्दी बाहर आइए."

सोलोमन दौड़ते हुये अपने अध्यन कक्ष से बाहर निकले।

जोनस - "अनहोनी हो गयी है कैप्टेन! ना जाने कहाँ से इस धुंध ने वातावरण को ढक लिया है. शिप को वापस मोड़ लीजिये!"

डेक पर मौजूद रेमी जोकि नोवा का सेकंड इन कमांड था, जोनस की बात सुन कर चिल्ला उठा.

रेमी - "पागलों  जैसी बातें मत करो. पोर्टो रिको पोर्ट से हमें बताया गया था कि मौसम साफ रहेगा. ये कोहरा मॉनसूनी बादलों के कारण हुया होगा और जल्दी ही हट जायेगा। वैसे भी पोर्टो रिको वालों ने नोवा की सूचना अगले पोर्ट तक पहुँचा दी होगी, हमें बढ़ते जाना चाहिए।"

वहाँ उपस्थित डॉक्टर आल्टर ने रेमी के सुझाव में सहमती जतायी। बीमारी से जूझ रहे डॉक्टर ने अपने पीले पड़ रहे शरीर को रैलिंग के सहारे खड़ा कर रखा था.

डॉक्टर आल्टर - "नोवा के ६० सेलर क्रू में अब सिर्फ हम ४ ही शेष बचे हैं. कैप्टेन शिप को अगले पोर्ट की तरफ ले जायो, हमारा खाने की समाग्री लगभग सम्पात है और पानी का भी सिर्फ एक कनस्तर बाकी है. यहाँ मरने से तो अच्छा है कि पोर्ट की तरफ जाने का रिस्क उठा लें.

कैप्टेन सोलोमन - "कैसी दुविधा है! पानी की इस विशाल नगरी में पीने के लिये एक बूंद नहीं। जोनस एंकर लगा दो. मैं अपने बाकी के क्रू को मौत के मुँह में नहीं धकेल सकता।"

रेमी और आल्टर के लाख समझाने के बावजूद सोलोमन नहीं माने और नोवा वहीं रोक दी गयी. अगली सुबह जैसे ही रेमी निरक्षण करने डेक पर पहुँचा तो वो भयानक मंजर देख उसके पैर जड़ हो गए, आँखे फटी गयीं, रेमी की नेत्र एक ही दृश्य दिर्शा रहे थे और वो था मास्टहेड पर बंधा एक फंदा जिस में जोनस की लाश लटक रही थी. रेमी ने डॉक्टर आल्टर को आवाज़ लगायी लेकिन डॉक्टर की जगह कैप्टेन सोलोमन आये.

कैप्टेन सोलोमन - "आल्टर की तबियत काफी गंभीर है. और जोनस को ऐसे देख शायद वो यही दम तोड़ देगा। तुम इस लाश को उतारो और इसे उठा कर गुलामों के चैम्बर में फेंक आयो."

रेमी - "जोनस हमारा साथी था कैप्टेन, उसके लिए एक कफ़न चाहिए। वो एक आज़ाद आदमी था, कोई स्लेव नहीं। उसे सम्मानता से दफनायेंगे।

रेमी की बात सुन सोलोमन की आँखों में खून उतर आया और अपनी कमर पर बंधी तलवार निकाल रेमी की गर्दन पर रख दी.

कैप्टेन सोलोमन - "अपने चारों और फैले इस नीले समुंद्री कफ़न को देखो! एक ही पल में तुम्हारा गर्दन कटा शरीर किसी शार्क के मुंह का निवाला बन रहा होगा, जोनस मर चुका है. अगर तुम अपने जिस्म के लोथड़े नहीं देखना चाहते तो इस लाश को स्लेव कम्पार्टमेंट में दफना आयो."

रेमी कैप्टेन के दरिन्दगी से भरे व्यवहार को देख काफी सहम गया था. जोनस की लाश को कंधे पर उठाये वो स्लेव कम्पार्टमेंट में घुसा और ज़मीन पर बिछी गुलामों की लाशों की कालीन पर कदम रखता हुया उस पिंजरे के सामने आ खड़ा हुया जहाँ बाकी के ज़िंदा गुलाम कैद थे. सभी गुलामों की नज़र रेमी के चेहरे पर थी, वहाँ बिखरी हुयी मुर्दा लाशों पर मक्खियाँ भिन भिना रहीं थीं, दुर्गन्ध से परेशान रेमी ने अपनी नाक ढक रखी थी. जैसे ही उसने जोनस की लाश को नीचे रखा, एक वृद्ध की आवाज़ ने खामोश वातावरण को भंग किया।

वृद्ध गुलाम - "साँस ले लो सर. यहाँ पर हवा मुफ्त है लेकिन ऊपर डेक पर यह कोहरा तुम्हारे फेफड़ों से हवा का हर एक कण निकलने के लिए बेकाबू हो रहा है."

रेमी - "क्या बकवास कर रहे हो? एक शब्द और बका तो अभी अपने खंजर को तुम्हारा गंदा खून चखा दूंगा!"

वृद्ध गुलाम - "इस पानी को ध्यान से देखो! हम बरमूडा ट्रायंगल में हैं. यहाँ पर तुम भी एक गुलाम हो. बरमूडा तुम्हे यहाँ से लौटने नहीं देगा। अगर किसी को मारना ही है तो कैप्टेन को मर गिरायो वरना बरमूडा का पानी नोवा के साथ हम सबको निगल जाएगा!"

रेमी के कुछ बोलने से पहले ही डॉक्टर आल्टर की एक दर्दनाक चीख गूंजी और रेमी दौड़ कर डेक पर पहुँचा। लहूलुहान आल्टर नीचे गिरा कराह रहा था और सोलोमन पानी के कनस्तर को शिप के बाहर उड़ेल रहा था.

डॉक्टर आल्टर - "रेमी, इसे रोको! यह हमारे पानी का आखिरी कनस्तर है."

रेमी - "रुको! रुको! रुको जायो।"

 कैप्टेन सोलोमन - "जल समाधि लेने का वक्त आ गया है रेमी। आल्टर का शरीर पहले ही स्कर्वी ने खोखला कर दिया था, मैंने तो बस उसकी मदद की है, उसके बेजान शरीर में थोड़े से छेद कर के इस पीड़ित खून को आज़ादी देने में."

कैप्टेन सोलोमन ने अपने हाथ में थमी पिस्टल रेमी की तरफ घुमायी और फायर कर दिया। रेमी की जांघ को चीरती हुयी खून सनी गोली नोवा के पास फैले कोहरे में गुम हो गयी और रेमी भी आल्टर की भांति दर्द से छटपटाता नीचे गिर गया. रेमी ने आल्टर की तरफ देखा जो अपनी अंतिम साँसे गिन रहा था और दूसरी नज़र कैप्टेन पर डाली जो हैवानों जैसी हरकतें कर रहा था. कैप्टेन  ने नोवा के चारों और तेल बिखेर कर उस में आग लगा दी. पिंजरे में बंद वो गुलाम वृद्ध आग की लपटों को बढ़ता देख रहे थे.

वृद्ध गुलाम - "बरमूडा का यह पानी हमेशा लहू के लिए प्यासा रहता है. जीज़स हम सबको परलोक में एक आज़ाद ज़िंदगी दे देना।"

नोवा पर लगी आग का बढ़ता धुयाँ कोहरे में समा गया और देखते ही देखते नोवा राख हो गया.

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Rating - 138/200

Word limit penalty - Minus 4

Final Rating - 134/200 Points

Ye prayog achchha tha par kuch plain laga, dialogues-narration ne prabhavit kiya khaaskar aapka contradictory emotions ko saath mey pirona. Ship ka sketch sundar hai. 

Total points after 2 Rounds - 288/400

Judge - Mohit Trendster

Round 2 - Team # 27 (Deepjoy & Rishav) #ftc1516

हमें शादी कर लेनी चाहिए" आकाश के ये शब्द मेघा के कानों मे गूंज रहे थे, किसी पुराने गाने के रेकॉर्ड की तरह, पर इसमे संगीत नही था, थी तो बस चुभन। आज ये बात न मानने के लिए, मेघा के मन का एक कोना उसे धिक्कारता तो दूसरा उसके इसी फैसले को सही बताता। कभी यही शब्द उसके लिए एक आशिक़ की तिष्णगी थे, उम्मीद थे,प्रार्थना थी। और आज हर शब्द नश्तर! एक ऐसा नश्तर जो उसके आकाश के साथ गुज़रे अनगिनत सुहाने पलों मे से "इस एक" दर्द देते लम्हे को काटकर, यादों की किताब के पहले पन्ने पर रख देता। वो जब ये "किताब" खोलती , तब ये लम्हा उसके आगे जीवंत हो उठता! ____________________()___________________ " सर्दी की छुट्टियों मे आकाश Navy का Commodore बनने के बाद, पहली बार मेघा से मिलने आया था। दोनो,एक साल से live in मे थे, मेघा की मर्ज़ी से। आकाश तो शादी करना चाहता था, पर मेघा हर बार टाल देती। पर आज कुछ सोच कर आया था वो, मेघा को लेकर जुहू बीच के उत्तरी छोर पर पहुँचा। मेघा वहां एक Yacht देख भौचक रह गयी, और आकाश को मुस्कुराता रहा। मेघा की नज़र मे खुशी कम सवाल ज्यादा आ गए। 'तुमने ही तो कहा था, की सागर पर चलना है सिर्फ मेरे साथ', 'तो तुमने Yacht खरीद ली!', मेघा चीखी और Yacht की तरफ दौड़ पड़ी। 'भाड़े पे ली है', वो जबतक Yacht के doc पर पहुँचा, मेघा एक चक्कर लगा चुकी थी। - 'Its beautiful' 'For You' आकाश मुस्कुराया। मेघा की आँखें आकाश की आँखों मे प्यार देख रही थी, पूनम की उस रात मे सब रोशन था। प्यार, ततपरता सब। मेघा ने आकाश की आंखो मे प्यार के साथ एक सवाल भी देखा, तो उसने नज़रें चुरा ली। पर आकाश उसे बचने कहाँ देता! 'मेरे साथ चलो मेघा,सागर पर, आज की रात को ख़्वाहिश पूरी करने की है" मेघा को कुछ नही सूझा,उसका मन एक कदम आगे जाकर लौट आता। पर आकाश ने जब उसका हाथ थामा तो मेघा का मन बहती लहरों के साथ हो लिया। उसको समंदर का सफर सबसे प्यारा था, सागर का शोर उसे बहुत सुकून देता था, और ऐसे ही एक सफर मे उसे आकाश मिला। एक cruise के सफर का साथी आज उसका हमसफ़र बनना चाहता था। Yacht आगे बढ़ी, मेघा आकाश की बाहों मे सिमट गयी। दूर चाँद इस प्यार की कश्ती के लिए ,पानी पर अपनी चांदनी का रास्ता बना रहा था। मुलायम सी रोशनी मे,आकाश ने हल्के से कहा 'हमे शादी कर लेनी चाहिए' उसके शब्दों मे तिश्नगी , उम्मीद और प्रार्थना थी। आंखो मे बात करने वाला आकाश आज पहली बार मुखर हुआ था। मेघा भी उसकी चाहत से अनजान नही थी, मगर आज ये शब्द 'सुनकर' वो बेचैन हो गयी, खुद को उसकी बाहों से आजाद कर लिया। 'मुझे जवाब चाहिए, मेघा' ' मैं तुमसे शादी नही कर सकती आकाश, फिर तुम्हे और क्या मिलेगा शादी कर के?' मेघा की चुप्पी और आकाश की उम्मीद एक साथ टूटे। 'हमारे रिश्ते को नाम मिलेगा मेघा,तुम्हे सिर्फ girlfriend नही बोल सकता मैं, तुम इससे कहीं ज़्यादा हो...' आकाश बेचारगी से बोला। 'तो मत बोलो, ख़त्म करो रिश्ते को क्योंकि नाम पाकर रिश्ता ख़राब हो ही जायेगा' मेघा के शब्द तीखे थे। आकाश समझा नही। 'तुम फौजी बड़े बेवफा होते हो, शादी करोगे और कल को फ़र्ज़ के नाम पर शहीद कहलाओगे और मैं विधवा! वैसे ही जैसे ताउम्र मेरी माँ रही,मुझे ऐसी ज़िन्दगी नही चाहिए, आंसू-दर्द नही चाहिए मुझे, मैं चाहती हूँ की तुम्हे याद करूँ तो बस हंसने के लिए। मैं तुम्हारी विधवा कहलाने से अच्छा तुम्हारी ex कहलाना पसंद करूंगी।' आकाश चुप था, 'उसकी' मेघा बरस रही थी, हरेक शब्द उसकी उम्मीद की नाव पर भारी पत्थर की तरह थे! वो कहना चाहता था लेकिन मेघा से दूर जाने के डर से खामोश रहा, बहुत अक्खड़ जो है वो। ' but I love You Megha', आकाश लड़खड़ाते हुए बोला,पर मेघा चुप रही। वो चुप्पी, उम्मीद की नाव पर एक आख़री पत्थर था, नाव डूब गयी।" ___________________()____________________ बाहर हलचल हुई तो मेघा की तंद्रा टूटी, शायद आकाश लौट चुका था उसने खिड़की से झाँका, हां आकाश लौट चुका था, तिरंगे से लिपटे एक बक्से में। मेघा दुख से ज़्यादा आत्मग्लानी से भर उठी। दर्द तकलीफ और आँसू जब ज़रा धीमे पड़े तो उसके हाथों मे एक ख़त था, लिखा था- "for Megha" ख़त की सिलवटें सुलझीं और दर्द के लम्हे का सिरा हाथ मे आ गया। " Hi Megha, कल कुछ कह नही पाया, क्योंकि ज़्यादा pursue करके तुम्हे और दूर नही कर पाता! मेघा शायद मैं कल ना रहूँ ठीक वैसे जैसे तुम्हारे पापा नही रहे और तुम्हे भी अपनी माँ की तरह रोना पड़े पर जान, क्या तुमने उनके सिर्फ आंसू देखे? उनके चेहरे का गर्व नही? जो एक शहीद की बीवी कहलाते हुए उनके चेहरे पर उमड़ आता हो! तुम्हारे पापा साथ नही थे पर उनके फौजी होने के कारण लोगों की संवेदनाओं का संबल तो था, उसने कभी माँ को अकेला नही किया होगा। मैं उम्र भर साथ रहने का वादा तो नही कर सकता, पर क्या कोई civilian कर सकता है? नही! और मेरे न होने के बाद तुम संभल जाओगी ये वादा तुम भी नही कर सकती, पर अकेलापन तुम्हे खा जायेगा ये मुझे पता है। तब शायद लोग तुम्हे विधवा न कहें लेकिन तुम खुद वैधव्य महसूस करोगी। ख़ैर, जानती हो, ये सागर जिसके ऊपर मैंने तुम्हे propose किया उसी सागर की लहरों की आवाज़ मुझे तुमसी लगती है,लगता है जैसे तुम बोल रही हो! और सागर की नमी जब हाथों मे आती है लगता है की तुम्हारे हाथों को थामे बैठा हूँ। जब तक इस सागर की नमी मेरे हाथो मे है तुम साथ हो! ख़ैर आता हूँ इन आतंकवादियों की ख़बर लेकर तुम्हारी ख़बर लेने, इतनी आसानी से नही मानूंगा! सागर की नरमी लेकर आऊंगा शायद तुम पिघल जाओ। तब I Love You "too" बोलना please तुम्हारा आकाश।" चिट्ठी पढ़ कर मेघा एक नींद से जागी, उसके मन का धिक्कारता कोना अब और चीखने लगा। मेघा चाहकर भी आकाश से नही कह सकती थी की वो ज़िद उसकी नादानी थी, जिसे सुधारना चाहती है! देर हो चुकी थी, आकाश, 'आकाश' सा ही बन गया था! शहीद और मेघा, उसके हाथों की चूड़ियाँ नही टूटीं, पर उसके सपनों का शीशमहल बिखरा! गले का मंगलसूत्र नही उतरा पर आंसू उसके आंखो से एकसूत्र उतरे! माथे का सिंदूर नही मिटाया गया पर वही रंग आँखों मे उतर आया! बाहर का पता नही पर अंदर, आकाश बिन मेघा विधवा हो गयी!

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Technically ye ek sea story (nautical fiction) kahi jaa sakti hai par issue ye hai ki wo yahan primary theme nahi dikh rahi. Doosri dikkat treatment mey hai prem samvaad itne lambe khinch gaye ki baaki story plot kuch tha hi nahi. Pyaar duniya ki sabse achchhi cheez/ahsaas hai, tabhi isko universal language kaha jaata hai par as a writer/poet iska treatment aesa ho ki readers wakai juden, bandhan mehsoos karen, unhe aesa naa lage ki aese samvaad to wo roz radio, TV par sunte, dekhte hai. Deepjoy pinups achchhe banate hai, par expressions static lag rahe hai yahan jispar dhyaan dene ki zaroorat hai. 

Rating - 118/200 Points

 Word Limit Penalty - Minus 4 Points

Rating - 114/200 Points

Total Points after 2 Rounds - 249/400

Judge - Mohit Trendster

Round 2 - Team # 07 (Tadam & Ranjana) #FTC1516

*) - Mysterious Rambo

On the isles of Postasia there was this mysterious and quiet old man. Hardly would he talk to anyone. He had no family, no children like none other on the isles. Often the kids would be curious about him but no one dared to ask him questions. Every evening he would stare at the sea as if it were his lover. He wouldn’t go to feel the waves. But sit on a stone nearby.

One day, Raiku, the little one ended up betting to his friend that he will talk to the old man and come up with his secret. So that evening when the sun was setting low and all the boys were playing Raiku walked on the sea side. Raiku sat by the stone on which Rambo sat. And some time later old Rambo following his monotonous routine came by. The boy had no courage to speak to him. It was Rambo who initiated as was unexpected. But, it was difficult to figure out from a distance what were they talking about. 

Both of them gave number of expressions. For once they would laugh and then would both be intense and so on. Raiku’s friends wanted to listen to them but had to give up.They decided to ask Raiku about the conversation the next morning.

But the next morning,Raiku did not come to play. They went to his home. His mother told them that he had already gone outside to see his friend. Everyone was amused because Raiku had only 4 friends all 4 of whom were waiting for him since the morning. They went looking for him and there he was at the old man’s stone with old Rambo. Everyone was curious. What was it that they had been talking about?

What was the secret? Hence when Raiku started home to have his lunch all his friends surrounded him and bombarded him with questions. Naughty Raiku smiled and said this old man has an interesting story. Do you know this old man is actually a woman. Everyone laughed “ Have you gone mad? Or, are you just trying to fool us like you often fool the rest? You cannot fool us let me tell you well in advance.” Said one of them.

“Why would I fool you? I am telling you the truth. Years ago when our grandfathers went fishing together he was found from the sea somewhere near the door to hell from where no man comes back alive. But he was breathing. They took him to the priest immediately. He remembers nothing of that just the chunks that the people told him. He narrated to me all that he remembers. I can tell you what he said exactly if you want?” They couldn’t resist the temptation so they agreed. 

‘On the other end of the sea there is a continent called Chisunka. It is a land of many riches . It was ruled by the great king Arnold. He was a wise and a just king. Loved by all his countrymen but a few men conspired against him in order to win the throne. Hence they struck him down at his temple gates, unarmed and without a warning.

 They took the crown for themselves. This old man was the king’s daughter and the princess, And his name was Kaira. She was asked to marry Gruera the new king but she refused. As a punishment she was sent on a ship and the men were ordered to throw her into the deepest of waters. On that ship she was kept in the small wooden chamber they would never light it up! She was accompanied by Rambo one of her father’s loyal men and he was sentenced to die with her.

Rambo was the best warrior in the kingdoms of Chisunka, not a single swordsman could touch him and then he was held captive by Gruera. 7 mens guarded him day and night on the ship. The door of his cell would be opened only to serve him food that to once a day. Three men all armoured and armed would go to serve him, such was his power.

It was their 5th night of the voyage when she heard one of the men saying that the next morning they’d be thrown into the deep sea. That night she did not sleep but cried and cried. 

It was past midnight when she heard something, the door opened and a man all bathed of blood was standing in front of her. The smell of blood was like that of death. She closed her eyes and started saying her prayers, only to be woken up with a bang. Her chains were relieved! 

It was Rambo, “not both of us can escape this”, he said. “Hence it has to be you.” He held her hands in his and said the words, the words of some ancient spell. She didn’t feel anything. She thought the spell had failed and when she looked up with the tears of fear what she saw was unbelievable. She was standing right in front of her. There was no time to be awe struck. The woman she could see explained nothing just lifted off a plank of wood and threw it into the water. The bells started ringing. “They know of this”, she said. “Hurry child! jump into the water and hold onto the plank and whatever happens do not look back.” The princess did what the woman asked her to and when she came to her senses she realised that the men had butchered her body. She was him now! Their bodies had been exchanged!

She swum day and night for 3 days but nothing came by and nobody even bothered to look for the escaped warrior. And then when the princess nearly lost all hope and gave up she felt the feather bed beneath her! ”

An awkward silence stuck them all.

====================================

Rating - 133/200 Points

 I like the atmosphere of this story, the storyline (and the twist) is great but balanced density of events/scenes is crucial in such pieces and themes to establish the story concept, backdrop and the twists (One-two events were less here). Artwork is okay, no unique details in Rambo...in the sketch.

Total Points after 2 Rounds - 261/400 Points

Judge - Mohit Trendster

Round 2 - Team # 03 (Handika & Vyom) #ftc1516

I was four years old on D-Day, June 6th, 1944,I had my cheerios and sliced banana with milk (raw whole milk, not the watered down stuff you drink) and the world was fine by me.

(General Mills introduced on May 1, 1941 originally named CheeriOats. The name was changed to Cheerios in 1945) 

To be accurate…

There was a time when the very concept of human freedom was threatened world wide.

In the mid 1930’s, Japan was already at war in China and southeast Asia, reaching for raw materials.

Heads of State knew Germany was re-arming, violating the treaties after world war one. Intelligent people knew the graveyard of Communism in the Soviet Union was destructive of all human values.

That period of time following the Nazi invasion of Poland, until the Air Battle for Britain, the civilized history of the western world was at risk of being swallowed by the darkside of mankind.

The D-Day invasion could have failed. It is said Eisenhower had a speech ready if he had to pull all the troups back to England.

A totalitarian Europe and Russia and an Imperialist Japan, had they not been stopped, would have sent the world into another thousand year dark ages as Christianity did two thousand years ago.

We celebrate those who stand forth to defend our rights and this day is but one to be remembered.

Many hate war, they should not, it is our defense of civilization.

===================

Good effort, nice perspective-catchy sketch but not enough at this level.

Rating - 83/200 Points

Total Points after 2 Rounds - 181/400

Judge - Mohit Trendster

Round 2 - Team # 26 (Abhilash & Ashutosh) #FTC1516

                      *) - NAARI SHAKTI

          "maa!!inn sabhi aur aap ki ankhon me aansu??aisa kyun maa??" ek maasum ladki ke iss masoom se sawaal ne uski maa ka dhyan uski aor aakarshit kiya.

          "ye aansu to hamari vijay ka pramaan hai meri bete?" .maa ne dobara apni nazare saamne ki aor karte huye uttar diya.

          "uff maa!yaha to baarish bhi shuru ho rahi hai.bijli bhi chamakne lagi hai.hum sab bheeg jaenge."

bachchi ki iss baat ko sun maa muskayi aur boil-"aaj ye baarish bhi hamari jeet me hissa le rahi hai bete.ye bhi hamare iss jeet-utsav ki bhagidaar ban rahi hai.badal garaj kar aur bijli chamak kar hamare jeet  ki shobha badha rahe hai."

          "jeet?kaisi jeet maa?humne kya jeeta hai."

          "humne apna samman jeeta hai bete.apni laaj jeeti hai hai,apna gaurav jeeta hai.?"

          "kisse maa?"

          "unn parusho se jo hamesha se hum aurato ko sirf manoranjan ki vastu samjhte hai.hume samman nahi dete ,sirf sambhog ki vastu samjhte hai.jinhe ye lagta hai ki naari kamzor hoti hai,keval ghar samhalne aur purush ke atyacharo ko sahne ke liye bani hain." maa apni beti ki aor jhuki aur uske gaalo par hath sehlaate huye kaha.

         "vo kaun hai maa jo vaha beech me khadi hai?unke hath me talwaar hai aur sabhi unki jay-jaykar kar rahe hai?”

         “vo iss veeranganao ki senapti hai beti.”

         “kya inhone maara hai in sab ko.kisi ko marna to galat baat hai na?kya vo aur ye sabhi bure nahi hue?"

         "bure to tab hoti ye yadi inke atyachaaro ko chupchaap seh liya hota.apne upar huye atyacharo k dand dena galat nahi hot bete isliye inme se koi bhi bura nahi hai.bure to ye the  jinhone devi samaan pooje jane wali nariyo ko apni bhookh ka shikaar banana chaha.unka shoshan karna chaha." 

          “ye log kaun the maa?” uss masoom ne phir se poocha.

          “ye hamare podosi rajya ki sena hai beti.jinhone hamare sainik patiyo ko maarkar humare raja ko haraya hai.ab humara  rajya inke aadhin hai.is ghamand me choor inn sainiko ne hum par atyachar karna chaha…. ”

         “kya humari sahayata kisi ne nahi ki maa?”

        “jeevan me aisa samay aata hai beti,jab rakshak hi bhakshak an jaate hai.sahayata karne waale hi atyachaar par utar aate hai. Jaise ye purush..inka daayitva humari raksha karna tha lekin inhone kiya uske viprit . ye iss duniya ki vo kaali sachchai hai jise jitni jaldi samjh lo utna hi tumhara bhala hoga.aise  me apni sahayata swaym karni padti hai .isliye inhe bhi shastra uthane pade.khud sainik banna pada.aur ye ladayi ladni padi”

         “maa!.......agar hum haar jaate to??”

      “kaise haarte beti.jab swayam bhagwaan humare sath hain.bhagwaan bhi unka sath dete hai jo khud ki sahayata karne ko tatpar hote hai.ye humari ikchha shakti aur saahas ka phal hai jisne hume vijay dilayi hai.”

     “inhone aisa kyun kiya hoga maa?….humne inka kya bigada tha jo ye hum par atyachaar karne lage the??”

      “purush jaati par kabhi kabhi ahankaar haavi ho jata hai beti.ye ahankaar jab bhi inke sar chhadhkar bolta hai ye bhul  jaate hai ki naari hi hai jo inhe janm deti hai,inka jeevan sanwaarti hai,devi tulya pooji jaati hai,phir shuru hota hai inka atyachaar……..sath hi ye bhi bhul jaate hai ki jo naari jeevan dena janti hai vo nash karna bhi janti hai.aavashyakta padne par Sita se kaali bankar ahankariyo ka naash bhi kar sakti hai.”

      “ab to hum surakshit hai na maa?”

      “haaa bete!!…jis din  naari swayam ki raksha ke liye dusro ki aor dekhne ke bajay aap hi tatpar ho jaati hai usi samay vah surakshit ho jaati hai.dhyan se dekho ye drishya…sambhav hai kal tumhe bhi isi tarah ki samasya se saamna karna pade.aaj se hi swayam ko taiyaar karna shuru kar do.”  Maa apni beti ki har utsukta aur uski shankaye door karti jaa rahi thi.

       “mujhe bhi……..kya ye sabhi kal ko samasya me humari sahayata karne nahi aayenge.?”

       “avashya aaenge beti.lekin sabse pahle tumhe khud ko khud ki sahayata ke liye taiyyar karna hoga.”

         “sahi kehti hai tumhari maa beti.smaran rahe…..hum naariya kisi bhi roop me inn puruso se kam nahi hai.atyachaar sahogi to inse bhi badi apradhi kehlaogi,inhe inke atyachaaro ka humesha muhtod uttar dena.” Senapati veerangana uss bachchi ke pass aakar boli.

          “lekin kabhi hum kamzor pad gaye to yaa kahi inhone hume bhi isi tarah maarne ki koshish ki to?.” Uss bachichi ke chehre par ek darr sa chha gaya.

          “to phir apni laaj ki raksha karte huye veergati ko prapt hona tumhare liye garv ki baat hogi.ek baat humesha smaran rakhna…..ek naari ke liye uske samman se mulyavaan kuchh bhi nahi hota.apne jeevan  ka balidaan bhale hi de dena lekin kabhi apna samman naa jaane dena…..kisi bhi mulya par.agar aisa karogi  tp jis prakaar aaj ye sabhi meri jay –jaykaar kar rahe hai kal tumhari karenge.”

Uss chhoti si bachchi ki aankon me ab chamak aagayi thi.uss veerangana ke kahe shabdo ne uske mann me utsaah,himmat aur josh ka sanchaar kar diya tha.usi samay senapati ne usko apni talwaar thamayi.bachchi ne usse utsaah se upar uthaya.

      “mai bhi badi hokar aap jaisi hi banungi.kabhi koi atyachaar nahi sahungi .aur jo karega uska hasra bhi yahi karungi jo inka hua hai………NAARI SHAKTI AMAR RAHE!!.”

======================

Rating - 110/200 Points

Kahani mey sandesh aur saath mey ye art har daur k liye mahatvpoorn hai lekin kahani cliched, one dimensional chalti lagi. 

Total Points after 2 Rounds - 213/400 Points

Judge - Mohit Trendster

Round 2 - Team # 15 (Amit & Rishi) #ftc1516

*) - Devil of the Sea

door daraj me basa ek samrajya  IKASTA  jo aaj apni ek bahut hi vikat paristhiti se jujh raha tha.praja jano aur  raja ke chehre par chinta aur darr ki lakire thi.mantri -mandal aur baaki sabha sado ke hosh ude  the.saamne thi aajtak ki sabse badi musibat jisne sabhi ka jeena muhaal  kar rakha tha.chunauti thi uss samasya ko jad se  khatm karne ki.

       IKASTA ek chhota sa dwip jo chaaro aor samudra  se ghira tha.raja aur mantri ki dekh- rekh me khushhaal.machhuwari praja hi thi inke aay ka mukhya shrot.door samrajya se  matasya vyapaar ne rajya ko malamaal kiya tha.praja ko samridhi pradaan ki thi.lekin pichhle kuchh samay se iss vyapaar ki gati dhimi ho gayi thi.praja ko garibi ka saamna karna pad raha tha.koi nahi janta tha kya thi iski asli vajah.

      Ek din koi vyapaari zakhmi sa dard se karahta taapu par mila.uska upchar kiya gaya,tab pata chala ki Unke vyapaar aur samrajy par nazar lagne ki vajah.koi samudra ka shaitaan tha jo vaha aane wale sabhi vyaapariyo ko  bich samudra me hi apna bhojan banata  jaa raha tha. Vyaapari jaate magar apne desh vapas naa pahuch paate isliye baaki ke rajyo ne dheere-dheere vyapaar  karna band kar diya tha.kisi ne abhi tak uss shaitaan ko thik se nahi dekha tha.par ye spasht tha ki vo jo bhi hai vishaal aur khatarnaak hai.

         Iss samachar ne jaise raja ki raato ki neend uda di thi.kaise ladte uss shaitaan se jiske baare me koi kuchh janta bhi nahi tha jo kayi vyaapari jahajo ko safachat kar chuka tha.  Ab to samasya aur bhi kathin ho gayi thi.koi rasta sujh nahi raha tha IKASTA  ke raja IKASO ko….

        Phir ek din mahamantri ne ek prastaav rakha…ki jo bhi uss shaitaan ko maut ke ghaat utarega use milega  IKASTA ki rajkumaari SELENA ka hath.vahi hoga IKASTA ka bhaavi raja.SELENA iss baat se raazi thi.koi der naa karte huye raja ne yah ghosna kar di aur intezaar me lag gaye uss bahadur ki jo unki iss chunauti ko swikaar karta.

       Rajkumari thi bahut hi sundar lekin phir bhi koi bhi aisa nahi aaya tha jo iss chunauti ko swikaar karta.thak haar kar ek din raja ne khud hi iss musibat se ladne jaane ka faisla kiya.tabhi darbaar me ek nauyuvaan  JACK ne pravesh kiya aur daava kiya ki vah uss musibat ko khatm kar aaega.raja ne use dusre din hi nikal jaane ki anumati di.vah uss raat raaj parivaar a mehmaan ban kar ruka.

        Usi raat yuvaan ne apni taiyari shuru kar di.tabhi ek aakriti ne uske kaksha me pravesh kiya.ye koi aur nahi rajkumari SELENA hi thi.jack ko dekhte hi uske seene se lag gayi.use uss shaitaan se ladne jaane se manaa karne lagi.vah nahi chahti thi ki uske bachpan ke pyaar ko koi bhi nuksaan pahuche.bachpan me taapu ke pass ek zehrile keede se JACK ne ise bachaya tha.tabhi se inme dosti hui aur inke jawaan hone ke sath hi inki dosti pyaar me badal gayi.rajkumari isse chhup-chhup kar milne aaya karti thi.

       Iss ghoshna ko sunne ke baad JACK ruk nahi sakta tha.uske parivaar ne use ab tak rok rakha tha.lekin ab vah aur nahi ruka.raja pad ke liye naa sahi,SELENA ke liye bhi na sahi,use apne rajya ko bachane ke liye ye karya karna hi tha.use yah katai gawara nahi tha ki vah yah soch kar mar jaaye ki vah apna rajya bachane ki koshish kar sakta tha par ki nahi.rajkumari ko aaj garva tha ki usne ek bahadoor aur nekdil ladke se pyaar kiya tha.SELENA ne use apne pyaar ki ek nishaani di..ek locket jo use musibat ke samay me unke pyaar ki yaad dilaega aur uske utsaah aur shakti ko badhaega.SELENA ke mann me darr tha par sath hi JACK ki bahaduri aur pyar par bharosa bhi tha.

      Faisle ka din aagaya tha.JACK ko puri taiyari aur hathiyaaro ke sath bheja jaa raha tha.chhori-chhipe chhat se SELENA ne bhi use shubhkamnaaye di.uski aankhein dekh koi bhi bata sakta tha ki vah raat bhr nahi soyi thi.

      Thik waisa hi hua tha jaisa JACK ne socha tha.uss shaitaan ke ilake aate hi uske jahaj par hamla kar diya gaya.apne aapko samhalte hue JACK ne use dekha to uski aankhein phati ki phati re gayi.ye shaitaan ek vishaal octopus tha.samanya se kayi guna bada.jise dekh kar hi maut aa jaye .lekin iss bahadur ke kandhe par apne rajya ki suraksha ka daayitva tha.vah kaise lade bina marta.

      Maanav samay-samay par apni bahaduri ka parichay deta aaya hai aur asambhav kaam ko sambhav kiya hai.iss samay JACK ko dekhkar aisa hi kaha jaa sakta tha.paani par saans lene ki chamatkari kala jo inn logo ko aashirvaad me mili thi vahi aaj JACK ke kaam aa rahi thi.sharir se khoon ki boonde nikal kar paani me ghulne lagi lekin usne haar nahi maani.

      kafi samay ho gaya lekin vah ab tak uss vishaal octopus ko kharonch  nahi paucha paaya tha.ab uske sharir ne bhi jawaab dena shuru kar diya tha.himmat jawaab de rahi thi.use uska ant nazar aane laga tha.tabhi uske gale se vah locket chhut usse door jaane laga .JACK ka josh use dekhkar wapas aaya.usne locket ko wapas pakda .octopus ke pass aane ka intzaar kiya aur ek sadhe huye vaar se use buri tarah jakhmi kar diya.bina koi dusra mauka diye JACK ne uss shaitaan ko khatm kar diya.

     JACK wapaas aaya raja aur rajkumari samet sabhi use dekhkar khush hogaye.pramaan ke aur par vah octopus ki ek bhuja sath laaya tha.ab vaade ke mutabik uski shaadi rajkumaari se shaadi hogayi.raja aur prajajan apne iss bahadur bhaavi raja se khush the.ab sab kuchh samanya hogaya tha.

     Ye pyaar ki hi shakti thi jisne asambhav ko sambhav banaya tha.

 =========================

Is entry mey art jitna achchha hai us muqable mey kahani mey nayapan nahi hai, naa hi yahan bhasha shaili prabhavit karne waali hai. Is wajah se rating kaafi kum ho gayi.

Rating - 94/200 Points

Total points after 2 Rounds - 214/400 Points

Judge - Mohit Trendster

Round 2 - Team # 10 (Eric & Joseph) #ftc1516

*) - The Playing Cards

A child squeals with glee upon seeing a winning combination of cards uncovered upon a rug. It’s 1930, and war hasn’t yet come to this idyllic part of the Japanese countryside. In a small, rural house the family is enjoying a late afternoon sun; the kids play with their new set of karuta cards with their mother while the father sits aside reading the morning edition of the day’s Yomiuri Shimbun. The room is sparsely furnished and the early afternoon sun streams gracefully through the open window.

A light breeze slips playfully into the room unsettling three of the cards, bringing yet more joyous squeals from the children. Their mother smiles serenely at the scene, admiring her two children affectionately. The cards are just new out of their box; the plastic seal still covers the outside of the packet. The images of flowers still retain a healthy look on the cards’ surfaces while their edges still revolt against the signs of misuse. All over Japan, families play with similar decks, but this one will live a life more interesting than many.

It’s now 1942 and an aging father crouches in the mud and grass of Guadalcanal. Amongst his belongings sits an inconspicuous deck of cards, a memento of happier times spent at home. To his left and right colleagues lie in wait of the advancing enemy forces. Their audacity to take on the Empire of Japan marks them for death; a fortunately swift death.

Trees rustle further down the path and the Japanese forces ready their rifles. This is the fourth such skirmish that this old father has fought this week, but it will be his last. The enemy, Americans, are now mere feet away and a cry goes up. The Japanese stream from their hiding places, catching the enemy off guard. Somewhere in the tumult a bullet is fired, catching the young father in a lung. No one knows who fired that bullet but it achieved its purpose and another body cools on the earth of Guadalcanal.

Years pass and we now find ourselves in central Miami. A young girl, maybe eighteen or nineteen stares intently at a collection of Japanese articles in her father’s collection. Many of the pieces are remnants a war long passed; looted from the bodies of the dead or from overthrown quarters. Amidst the collection lies a slightly damaged deck of cards, the girl doesn’t recognise the patterns on the box and it is too early for the name Nintendo Corp. to be widely recognised this side of the Pacific.

Quietly opening the door she reaches into the display cabinet and runs her finger over a well preserved bayonet, a Japanese pistol and ammo clip before settling on the deck of cards. They look out of place amidst the collection of weapons and at the same time bring an air of peace to the instruments of death. 

Again the years pass, and our young American girl has grown older and she has a family of her own. Her father, the war veteran lies dying in his bed upstairs and she finds herself once more looking at the collection of artefacts in the display cabinet of her fathers living room. Beside her, her husband eyes the collection greedily; the intention of selling off the collection is clear on his face. 

He has already singled out the bayonet for sale, and the pistol and ammo should also earn a tidy sum. In his head he prices the entire collection until he comes to the deck of cards. His gaze rests on the packet for a second before he consigns it to the bin, it wouldn’t even be worth putting them up for sale.

The following year the items have been sold, earning the American woman and her husband a tidy sum. Reluctantly he let her keep hold of the deck of karuta cards which now sit snugly in her handbag. A boat is about to set sail for the Pacific island of Guadalcanal.

Upon landing the American group of veterans and the families of deceased veterans are met by their Japanese counterparts. In silence they leave the historic beaches of Guadalcanal and enter its lush interior. Next to the American woman a Japanese lady, maybe fifteen years her senior weeps quietly. With her fractured Japanese the American learns that the Japanese lady lost her father at Guadalcanal, she was only sixteen at the time of the battle.

Later, upon the site of the Edson’s Ridge confrontation, the American feels compelled to return the cards to their home. As she crouches in to place them on the ground of Guadalcanal, the aging Japanese woman spots them and is reminded of that tranquil summer afternoon, playing cards with her mother and brother while her father reads the Yomiuri Shimbun beside them. Drying fresh tears from her cheeks she crosses to the American and, in perfect English, relates her story. Moved by the woman’s frankness, the American hands her the packet so that they may return home with their rightful owners. They remain there, in a quiet village in Japan to this day.

=========================

Rating - 165/200 Points 

Wow!! This is a very well researched piece, artwork gave me goosebumps.

Total Points after 2 Rounds - 302/400

Judge - Mohit Trendster

Round 2 - Team 24 (Kapil and Soumendra) #ftc1516

मेहरगढ़के राजा महेंद्रसिंहने गुप्त-सन्देशको अपने विश्वास-पात्रोको दिखातेहुए कहा, "इसमें संदेह नहींहैं की अब हमेंभी कमर-कस लेनी चाहिए, ऐसेही सन्देश काठीपुरमके सम्राटके पासभी आयेथे। उस 'अज्ञात-ख़तरे'ने दो गुप्त-सन्देश भेजेथे...

सवारी गायब करूँगा
शान गायब करूँगा
अशुभचिंतक 'अज्ञात-खतरा'

... और कुछही दिनोंमें शाही अस्तबलमें से पूरे छप्पन घोड़े, कड़ी सुरक्षाको धत्ता दे गायब करदिए; फिर दो दिन बादही सशस्त्र सैनिकोसे संरक्षित काठीपुरमके राज-खजानेमें रखे सबसे कीमती चीज़ नीले-हीरे पर हाथ फेर गया"

अब हमें गुप्त-सन्देश आयेहैं ...
श्रृंगार गायब करूँगा
सुहाग गायब करूँगा
अशुभचिंतक 'अज्ञात-खतरा'

"शत्रु बहुत खतरनाकहैं, खुले-आम चेतावनीदे, नाकके नीचेसे इनको अंजाम देताहैं, मेरेभाई कुठारसिंह (काठीपुरमके राजा) ने इसे बहुत हलकेसे लिएथा और बहुत बड़ी क्षति उठानी पड़ी।"

पहाड़ोंसे घिरे तीन गौरवमयी राज्य काठीपुरम, मेहरगढ़ और सूरनगर। एकसे बढ़कर एक, जहाँ काठीपुरमको धनाढ्योकी धरती माना जाताथा, वहीँ मेहरगढ़के दुर्गकी पताकाको वीरतासे रंगा गयाथा। सुरनगर गुणज्ञों, मेधावियोंसे अटाथा। तीनोही एक-दुसरेके पूरक, तीनो-भाई हर मुसीबतमें एक-दुसरे के साथथे। उनकी एकताके आगे सभी पड़ोसी राज्योंके हौसले पस्तथे।

बात बाहरवीं शताब्दी कीहैं, करीब पैतीस साल पहले शूरवीर-दिलेर राजा कामेसुकुमारने छोटे-छोटे नगर जीतकर विशालकाय कामेसुगढ़ जरूर बसाया पर चर्चामें सदैव उनका महाकाय हृदय ही रहा। कामेसुगढ़ के राजगुरु मानुबाबा अलौकिक शक्तिधारी दिव्य पुरुषथे। उनकी छाँवमें कामेसुगढ़ पूरे ब्रह्माण्डमें सुरक्षितथा। तरुणावस्थासे ही कामेसुकुमारने अपने राजगुरुके चरण ऐसे पकडे जो उन्हें सिद्धि, समग्रता और सफ़लताकी नोंकपर स्थापित करगए। एक अभागे दिन मानुबाबाने हिमालयमें समाधि लगानेकी कहकर अनिश्‍चित कालके लिए राज्यसे विदाईली। बीस वर्षो तकतो राजाने प्रजाके दिलो पर राज किया, एक दिवस राजाने घोषणा की वो राजगुरुको खोजने जा रहेहैं।  जाते-जाते कामेसुगढ़को तीन नये राज्योंमें बाँट तीनों निपुण पुत्रोको उनका तख़्त संभलागए और इस तरह कामेसुगढ़से तीन नए राज्य काठीपुरम, मेहरगढ़ और सूरनगर बने।

महेंद्रसिंह: "कुठारसिंह और सूर्यसिंह (सुरनगरके राजा) हरवर्ष की तरह इस बारभी मेहरगढ़में शाही-सवारी निकलेगी, जिसमें तीनों राज्योंके राज परिवार शिरकत करतेहैं, लेकिन इस जालसाज-ठगने भयभीत किया हुआहैं।"
कुठारसिंह: "सुरक्षाके पुख्ता इंतजाम किये गएहैं, इस बार उसकी दुर्गति ही यहाँ खींचेगी।"

आभूषणोंसे जड़ी सुसज्जित रानियाँ, राजाओंके साथ राजसी-रथमें, सेनापति-मंत्री हाथियों पर, पीछे-पीछे पूरा कारंवा। जनतामें कुलीनोंके करीब आनेकी होड़ मचीहैं।  स्त्री-पुरुष रानियोंकी सुंदरता और राजाओंकी ठाट-बाट, रईशी पर रींझ रहेथे वही बच्चे एक साथ इतने सारे हाथी-घोड़े और ऊँट देखकर विस्मितथे।

"मेरा हार कहाँ गया?" मेहरगढ़की रानी सपकपायी! राज-कुनबेका सबसे श्रद्धास्पद आभूषण जिसे कामेसुकुमार की दादीको उनकी सासने दियाथा यकायक अलोप होगया। बात प्रतिष्ठाकी थी, राज्य प्रवेशमार्गके कपाट बंद कियेगए, घेराबंदी हुयी, एक-एक नागरिककी तलाशी लीगयी, भेदीयोंको लगाया गया। पूरे नगरमें दहशतंगेज़ी फ़ैलगयी लेकिन सुराग नहीं मिला।

इस संकटकालमें तीनो तजवीज़(सलाह) के लिए बैठे।
"जय बाबाबर्फानी! उड़ती हुयी एक बूढ़ी आवाज़ उनके कानोमें प्रतिध्वनित हुयी।
सूर्यसिंह चिल्लाया,'राजगुरु-मानुबाबा' पच्चीस साल बाद, बड़ा ही ख़ुशगवार पल आयाहैं।"
सबके दिल हिलोरें खाने लगा मानों जैसे मेलेमें माँ से बिछुडे बच्चेकी, माँ को देखतेही रुलाई फूट पड़तीहैं।

मानुबाबा: "अपने पूरे जीवन कालमें ऐसे विचित्र भयसे पहली बार सामना हुआहैं। दुश्मन बहुत स्यानाहैं  उसके अपराधोंकी संगीनताभी उतनीही विचित्रहैं। मुझे आभाष हो रहाहैं की उसका अगला पड़ाव सूरनगर होगा, कोई भयंकर अहित होनेको हैं। मैं कल सूरनगरमें ध्यान लगाताहूँ।  देवने चाहा तो पांचवे पहर सारे रहस्योंसे पर्दा हटा दूंगा।

बिना एक क्षण व्यर्थ किये पूरा रजवाड़ा और मानुबाबा दल-बल सहित सूरनगरको निकले। राजाओंकी आँखोंमें नींद कहाँ! पूरी रात खयालोमें कटती रही।  बाबाके भेजे दूतोंने संदेशा दियाकी तीनों राजाओंको सूरनगरके छोर पर स्थित पुराने दुर्ग पहुँचानाहैं वही बाबाने ध्यान लगायाहैं। तीनोको अलग-अलग आनेके लिए कहागया।

महेंद्रसिंह दुर्ग पहुंचे। दुर्गके बिलकुल मध्यमें एक बड़ा स्वस्तिक बनाथा उसके ऊपर बाबा ध्यान मग्नथे। बीचमें विघ्न पैदा करना उचित प्रतीत नहीं हुआ अंदरकी तरफ मशालोंकी रौशनीथी, भीतर जाकर देखा वह कुठारसिंह बैठाथा।
"मैं बहुत उतावला था, रहा नहीं गया और पहले चला आया, लेकिन मानुबाबा तो ध्यानमें है, वहां ऊपर बाबाने एक आदमीको बाँध रखा हैं।  लगताहैं वहीँ हैं 'अज्ञात-खतरा'।

दोनों ऊपरको लपके। ऊपर पहुँचतेही, गलेमें घुटी हूंक के साथ महेंद्रसिंह फर्शपर जा गिरा। कुठारसिंह पीछेसे घोपा हुआ खंजर निकालते हुआ बोला, मैंही हुँ 'अज्ञात-खतरा'।  महेंद्रसिंह फटी आँखोंसे देख रहाथा, कपकपायी आवाजमें बोला, तुमने ये सब क्यों किया? हमतो भाई हैं"
"कौनसे सगे भाईहैं, तीन रानियोंकी तीन संतानहैं, सौतेलेहैं हम।" मुझे अपना राज्य फैलानाहैं। अगरमें सीधा हमला करता तो तुम दोनों मिलकर मुझे परास्त करदेते।  इसलिए मैंने अपने विश्वासपात्रोसे मिलकर ये साज़िश रची।  एक राजाका अपनेही राज्यके हीरे-घोड़े गायब करना बहुत आसानहैं। रानीका पुश्तैनी हार भी मैंनेही अपनी पत्नीको बोलकर गायब करवायाथा, सबकी तलाशी हुयी लेकिन राजा-रानी की तलाशी कौन लेताहैं। मैं तुझे और सूर्यसिंह को 'अज्ञात-ख़तरे' की आड़ में मरवाता और फिर तीनो राज्यों पर राज करता लेकिन बीचमें ये बुड्ढा आगया और तेरी ज़िंदगीके बचे दिनभी खागया।
"मानुबाबा तुम्हे नहीं छोड़ेंगे राक्षस"
"वो बुड्ढा मेरा क्या बिगाड़ेगा, उसेतो पांचवे पहरमें पता चलेगा, उससे पहलेमें उसकी गर्दन उड़ादूंगा"

कुठारसिंह, मानुबाबाकी तरफ भागा, बाबा गहरे ध्यानमें, हवामें लहराती हुयी तलवार झटकेके साथ नीचे…

…तलवार नीचे आयी, कुठारसिंहके हाथ समेत नीचे जा गिरी।  कुठारसिंहका कटाहाथ तलवारके साथ नीचे पड़ाथा। हथकटे ख़ौफ़ज़दा कुठारसिंहकी तरफ बाबाने लाल-कुपित आँखोंसे देखा, झुर्रियोंमें छिपे होंठ प्रचंड आँखोंका विरोध करतेहुए अट्टहासमें बदलगए। इस अट्टहासमें एकऔर आवाज़ आ मिली। कुठारसिंह पलटा, इस क़हक़हे का स्वामी सूर्यसिंह खड़ाथा। कुठारसिंहकी सारी इन्द्रिया ज़वाब  देगयी।  उसे मरनेसे पहले जानना थाकी आखिर ये हुआ क्याहैं?

" 'अज्ञात-खतरे' से मेंभी स्तब्धथा, मेने तेरी सारी बातें सुनली।  मुझे नहीं पता थाकी तूही वो 'अज्ञात-खतरा' हैं, महेंद्रसिंहको मारकर तूने मेरा आधा काम करदिया 'अज्ञात-खतरे' हाहाहा। शाही-सवारी आयोज़नके दौरान विचार कौंधा की क्योंना 'अज्ञात-ख़तरे' का लाभ उठाकर बरसोसे सीनेमें पलरहे सपनेको पूरा कियाजाए? पच्चीस साल बाद राजगुरु मानु-बाबाको कौन पहचानेगा? हम तीनो तो उस समय बच्चेथे। मैंने अपने एक भरोसेमंदको मानुबाबा बनाया और तुम दोनोंको यहाँ बुलाया। तुम दोनोंको मारकर में लोगोंको कहूँगाकी 'अज्ञात-ख़तरे' ने तुम दोनोंको मारकर बाबाको क़ैद करलिया। तीनो राज्योंकी जनता मुझे राजा मान लेगी, उसके बादमै… " सूर्यसिंहकी बाकी बात अनकही रह गयी, घायल महेंद्रसिंहकी तलवारने उसका सर कलम करदिया। महेंद्रसिंहमें अभी जान बाकिथी, वो लड़खड़ाता हुआ जख्मी कुठारसिंहके पास पहुँचा और गला रेतदिया। महेंद्रसिंह नसोंमें अटकी समस्त प्राणवायु खीँच तलवार लिए नकली बाबाकी और दौड़ा लेकिन गश खाकर वहीं ढ़ेर होगया। दुर्गकी तमाशाई इमारतें अपनी बदक़िस्मती पर रो-रही थी, तीन भाई, तीन राजा, एक-दुसरे पर मरनेवाले, एक-दुसरे को मारदिया। लालचही वो 'अज्ञात-खतरा' था जिसकी कठपूतली बन ये स्वांग रच रहेथे फिर उस लालचने इनकी ज़िंदगीकी डोर खीचली।

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Rating - 153/200

Yahan itne ghatnakramo ne bahut manoranjan kiya. Symbolic image art itne achchhe se kahani se ramti lag rahi hai. Bhasha sundar thi. Kuch jagah shabd anavshyak roop se jude lage. Ek achchhi waapsi ki badhaai aap dono ko.

Total Points after 2 Rounds - 272/400

Judge - Mohit Trendster