Round 2 - Team # 06 (Manabendra and Rahul) #FTC1516

Place:-RAW Field-Headquarters,Kashmir

The MarineCommandos team (MARCOS) assembled for briefing. Director of RAW arrived. He seemed worried.

Director:-The schematics that you guys captured yesterday are highly-classified Bombay-High Oil-Rig blueprints. Bombay-High contributes three-fourth of India's oil production. Any attack on it can severy affect country's economy. Hence, we are deploying you to the Mumbai MARCOS branch.

4-months later

Place:-INS-Rajput Destroyer, near Bombay-High

Operations-Control-Room was blaring with red danger light. Crew-members were busy making calls, studying navigation charts etc. A chopper's sound caught attention of Admiral and Captain. Both headed to upper-deck. 

Admiral:-Welcome aboard Major-Rahul! I am Admiral Vikram-Rathor of Bombay-Rakshak fleet and this is Captain Manabendra-Majumder.

Captain-Manabendra:-Now please follow us.

Admiral-Vikram:-My fleet of INS-Rajput, INS-Godavari and INS-Mumbai was deployed exclusively for protection of Bombay-High. We have been patrolling these waters for past 4-months.

Captain-Manabendra:-An hour ago we received distress signal from Bombay-High. 

Major-Rahul:-So why are we 2-miles away?

Admiral-Vikram:-That's why.

Admiral handed binoculars to Major-Rahul.

Captain-Manabendra:-That burning warship is...was INS-Godavari. We sent it to check the signal. But the 150-MM Rail-Guns, installed on Bombay-High, were hacked by hijackers and used against us. We cannot go anywhere near 2-miles of Bombay-High. 

Admiral-Vikram:-That's your primary-objective. The weapon-control is in the second block of Bombay-High. Reach there and deactivate the weapons.

They reached Operation-Control-Room where MARCOS team were handed respective scuba-diving suits.

Major-Rahul:-Any word of Bombay-High workers?

Admiral-Vikram:-That's your second primary-objective. Rescue them, if they are alive.

By now the team had suited up. Wearing the backpack, they walked towards end of outer-deck.

Captain-Manabendra:-You will be in contact with us during mission.

Place:-Bombay-High Oil-Rig

Swimming several miles at stretch is piece of cake for MARCOS. It took 30-minutes for them to reach Bombay-High. There were two hijackers patrolling second-block perimeter. Second-in-Command Lieutenant-Mohit swam silently to other side. There was a brief moment during patrol when both hijacker couldn't see each other. On Major-Rahul's signal, both silently slit hijacker's throat. The team entered second-block. Checking the corners and silencing anyone coming their way, they reached weapons-control-room.

Major-Rahul:-(earpiece)Captain-Manabendra! We have a problem. Control-Panel is destroyed!

The communication was also routed to Admiral-Vikram. Captain-Manabendra was in front of computer-terminal through which he was able to coordinate all activities of warship. 

Admiral-Vikram:-The weapon-system has separate power-grid. It is situated just below the control-room. 

Captain-Manabendra:-Cutting off the power can do the trick.

Major-Rahul reached below control-room and turned off the power.

Major-Rahul:-(earpiece)Weapons are down! We'll now search for survivors.

Place:-INS-Rajput, near Bombay-High

Admiral-Vikram:-The weapons are down. Fire the engines!

The message was conveyed to INS-Mumbai also. Within minutes both reached Bombay-High. But they were unaware of danger lurking beneath them. A group of 3-scuba-divers silently approaced INS-Mumbai. They planted timed-charges at bilge of ship. INS-Mumbai burst into flames. Nobody could've survived the blast.

Captain-Manabendra:-(shocked)What happened?

Admiral-Vikram, being the experienced officer knew exactly what had happened.

Admiral-Vikram:-Somali-Pirates! They are beneath us! Release Depth-Charges NOW!

Chief-Officer followed the orders without hesitation. The depth-charges didn't bode well for pirate scuba-divers. But this was only beginning. Pointing towards far horizon, Captain-Manabendra passed binoculars to Admiral-Vikram. An armada of pirate-frigates were headed their way! Without any warning, pirate-warships launched missiles in unison.

Admiral-Vikram:-(ordering)Arm the anti-missiles. Activate the 60xRocket-Launchers. Ready the torpedos. 

The crew-members got to work. Anti-missiles activated destroying most of the incoming missiles. Few of them still managed to hit the INS-Rajput. But damage was minimum.

Captain-Manabendra:-Lets show them what we have got!

One-by-one 60-60 rockets vacated their homes. Even after getting destroyed by pirate-ship's anti-missiles, their sheer quantity turned many frigates to ashes.

Place:-Bombay-High Oil-Rig

MARCOS-team reached boiler-room which was shut from inside.Sudden attack surprised hijackers and they couldn't do anything except for dying. They untied the workers. Major-Rahul informed Captain-Manabendra who sent lifeboats to north-west side. One survivor informed them about a bomb in east-wing underwater-basement. Major-Rahul ordered two team-members to safely escort survivors to lifeboats. He and Lieutenant-Mohit proceeded towards underwater-basement.

Major-Rahul:-(earpiece)Captain-Manabendra! We have found devices attached to support-structures.

Captain-Manabendra:-Describe me.

Major-Rahul:-It'c cylindrical, made of glass. One side has perforations. Inner-chamber is divided into two parts. One part has water and other part has yellow powder.

Captain-Manabendra:-That is an acid-bomb. Yellow powder is chlorine. When timer hits 0, water will produce hydrogen reacting with chlorine producing concentrated HCl.

Admiral-Vikram:- See the bombs are attached to Oil-reserves. These reserves are basically carbonate-reserves. If these come in contact with strong acid, due to reaction, the reserves will become useless. We will never be able to mine oil from this oil-rig.

Captain-Manabendra:-The acid will also corrode these support-structure and whole Oil-Rig will collapse.

Major-Rahul:-So how do we stop it?

Captain-Manabendra:-The bunker-oil that is used in warships such as ours are very viscous and can be used to surround powdered chlorine completely, thereby cutting its contact with hydrogen.

Major-Rahul:-But can't we use the oil mined here?

Captain-Manabendra:-Those are not refined and hence not suitable.

Admiral-Vikram:-We have a spare tank in lower-deck. Luckily, we are not far from your location. Search for spare Standpipes. 

Standpipes are long, flexible semi-metallic pipes used to drill oils. The underwater-basement was close to INS-Rajput location and Standpipe they found too was long enough. Upon connecting with spare-tank, bunker-oil started oozing out. They first filled the acid-bomb with lowest time left. Through the perforations, bunker-oil started covering each-n-every grain of chlorine. The timer ticked to zero. Nothing happened!

Place:-INS-Rajput

INS-Rajput was winning thanks to underwater torpedos against which pirate-frigates had no answer. Suddenly, remaining two pirate-frigates stopped firing and started moving in opposite direction.  

Chief-Officer:- They are retreating..We won!

Admiral-Vikram:-No, They are going towards Mumbai coast. They are gonna bombard the coast. They have enough firepower to wipeout half of mumbai population. They must have had this fail-safe plan from beginning. Contact Major-Rahul.

Major-Rahul:-(earpiece)Only 2-bombs are left and with 10-minutes in each. We will find another way. 

Captain-Manabendra:-We’ll be back!

Place:-Bombay-High Oil-Rig

Lieutenant-Mohit:-Why did you lie about time sir. We have only 3-minutes.

Major-Rahul:-Hadn't I lied, they would have spent precious time arguing.

Lieutenant-Mohit:-So now what we do.

Major-Rahul:-We find some way or die trying.

Place:-INS-Rajput, 6-miles from Mumbai-coast

The damaged INS-Rajput was desperately after two Pirates-Frigate. Upon reaching in suitable range Admiral-Vikram ordered to fire missiles. Chief-Officer pressed buttons to adjust missile-turrets to new coordinates. Nothing happened. Horrified, he looked at Captain-Manabendra.

Captain-Manabendra:-Sir, we have a problem. The repititive firing has jammed hydraulics. We can fire the missiles but cannot set coordinates.

This was the test of Admiral-Vikram's experience and leadership.

Admiral-Vikram:-We will manually adjust the turrets! Everybody, on to the top-deck, now!

All crew members, in groups of two, rushed to each of the missile-turrets. The damage to hydraulics meant that it can manually be shifted albeit with lots of effort.

Admiral-Vikram:-We're roughly 1.5-nautical miles..projectile-angle would be 53.4-degree

Collecting every ounce of strength, both groups adjusted turrets to new angle. Admiral-Vikram signalled Chief-Officer. With deafening sound, missile left the turret and headed straight to each frigate. But missiles missed!

Captain-Manabendra:-Sir, we didn't account for wind. With the wind factor..(paused)..the projectile angle will be 57.3-degree.

This time missiles hit! Frigates burst into flames. A wave of joy and victory spread among the crew.However, their joy was short-lived for they couldn't see Bombay-High anymore. Indian Navy won a battle, but lost other.

==============================

Excellent cover art by Manabendra, comics with such perfect covers....you can't resist buying them Its like I am reading a page break rough draft of a good Indianized 'Commando Comic'. There are couple of Indian publishers like Aan Comics, Aditya Horizons publishing 'Indian war comics series' you should contact them.  It zings, from the good title start to the insightful breakdown into tactical, logical segments but there were many things happening simultaneously which look awesome in sequential art but sometimes create noise, confusion in text so you have to adapt according to the format.

Rating - 142/200 Points

Word Limit Penalty - Minus 9 Points

Final Rating - 133/200

Total Points after 2 Rounds - 245/400

Judge - Mohit Trendster

FTC Semi Finalists

  

Freelance Talents Championship 2013-14 : Semi Finalists
*) - Kapil Chandak

*) - Siddhant Shekhar

*) - Mohit Sharma

*) - Rahul Ranjan

Judge # 01 - FA Gang Stuffs & Simmi Singh

 Panel headed by Miss Simmi Singh reviewed and judged 4 matches of Round 3 (Pre Quarter Finals)

1. FA Gang Stuffs
We are a group of hobbyist who are into making and publishing some art related stuffs.

a. BLOG
We love to share our opinions about movies, art and anything that looks interesting to us.

b. COMICS
We try to make some comics and publish it online. There are series like SIMMI AND FRIENDS that can be found on our blog/page etc. on some Sundays.

c. DOODLES
Making rough sketches and random doodles is quite a part of us. We make just anything rubbish, hoping everyone will like it.

d. BOOKS
We are publishing our "own books only" to raise funds for our research and making our team stronger.


2. PRONUNCIATION & MEANING
FA Gang Stuffs pronounced F -- A -- Gang -- Stuffs. which means FA Gang's Stuffs i.e. our own stuffs. One can find sites or pages named FA Gang's Art Hunt where we share other's artwork that we find to be awesome and FA don't stand for anything, it just a name.


3. AGENDA
We spend our spare time after our day job to work for art and stuffs. Currently focused to research and promotion of the art and issues of the Tribal groups from Chotanagpur and near by areas. Trying to generate funds for this by selling stuffs under the brand FA Gang Stuffs.


4. DESCRIPTION & HOW WE OPERATE
We are Kolkata based group and our members & supporters are from all over India. They try to help as much as they can, without being paid. Even our core members from Kolkata don't get paid for what they do. We Invest all our income to find more and work more to make this organization stronger with art and stuffs. Most of us of our team has not seen each other by face as we operate online. We try to highlight Simmi Singh, for she does the most of the contributions and the work from her part.


5. SIMMI SINGH
Simmi, is a very young and extremely enthusiastic lady from Kolkata. She is the most hardworking member of our core team. She gives the best of her to keep up the Team FA Gang Stuffs. Her donations, non-stop work, posts and support keeps the Team going.

She believes in not going public, for she wants and expects to work more by actually being among the crowd she is working for. She has been with us from the very beginning and working without any expectations from us. She gives away all her works to FA Gang Stuffs which owns all the rights to it. Sadly, she is so conservative that even we members don't know her by face and she wants it to be the same as long as she works.

She believes that the day she will be in the in the lime light, it would be the end of her existence and she would have to stop working for us permanently. For she won't be able to speak independently enough, as she is doing today by being anonymous, if her family and she herself comes into any kind of political or controversial influence.


6. TEAM FA GANG STUFFS words from the owner
I know that with Simmi's anonymity, all charges and accusation, "if comes", it comes up to me. But I am willing to take that risk for my people (Tribal population) for whom she is working for and I will have to, for I honor her and can't just take the good side as bad comes along with it.

- Amrit Tigga

List of Prizes at Stake (FT Championship 2013-14)

*) - Free Website www.yourname.com for the Champion

*) - 3 Comic Contract with Fenil Comics (Winner & Runner up).

*) - Rank & Round wise Certificates to Top 16 Authors.

*) - Co-Authoring 2 Ebooks with Freelance Talents Team (Top 5 Authors).

*) - All contest entries in Freelance Talents Anthologies (3-Book Series) with special mention to final 8 authors and their entries.

*) - Graphic Novel - "Kuhaas - The Mist" with exclusive Picture Postcards to Parallel League Winner (from India) and Bronze Medalist (Third Position).

*) - Copies Mr. Anupam Sinha's (Writer-Artist of over 400 Comics) Debut Novel - "The Virtuals" and Multi star Raj Comics Special Issues of "Negatives" (under Special Awards as per statistics-records of the contest)

*) - Latest Paperclip Novels "Forever in My Heart" by Arindam Dey to all Semi Finalists & "Love and Lokpal" by Pooja Wanpal to few FTC Special Jury Awards winners.

*) - Special Fenil Comics Merchandise & Novelties. 

 

Round 3 (Match # 3) - Prashant Vasava vs. Mohit Sharma

*) - शक

(Prashant Vasava)

जिगर को कुछ दिनों से लग रहा था की उसकी बीवी निशा का किसी के साथ चक्कर चल रहा है। वो उससे इस बारे में बात तो करना चाहता था मगर उसके पास कोई सबूत ही नहीं था। पहले तो उसे सिर्फ शक था। किन्तु कुछ दिनों से शक यकीन में बदलते जा रहा था। क्योंकी वह युवान उसे आसपास कहीं ना कहीं मंडराता हुआ दीख ही जाता था। पिक्चर में, मॉल में, तालाब के किनारे, झू में हर जगह उससे भेंट हो जाती थी।

आखिर दुविधामें पडे रेहने से अच्छा उसने कोई उपाय निकाल ने को सोचा। उसने एक प्रायवेट जासूस से संपर्क कीया।

जासूसने उससे कहा," चिंता मत किजीये। में दूध का दूध और पानी का पानी कर दूंगा। आप १० दिन बाद मुझसे मिलीयेगा।"

१० दिन। यूं तो बहोत ज्यादा नहीं होते लेकिन जिगर के लिये तो यह बडा ही कठीन दौर था। जासूस क्या खबर लायेगा ये सोच सोच के उसका बूरा हाल था। नींद तो जैसे चोरी हो गई थी। उसने इस विषय में अभी तक किसीसे बात नहीं की थी। उसने अपने कुछएक खास दोस्तों से बात की।

यही जवाब की आशा थी उसे। " अबे ,पागल हो गया है क्या? दिमाग तो ठिकाने पे है ना तेरा?"

पर जिगर भी क्या करता, बेचारा! निशा थी ही इतनी खूबसूरत! काले घने रेशमी बाल, कथ्थई आंखे, गुलाबी होंठ, गोरा रंग। और चरबी... सही जगह पे सही मात्रा में। जिगर को बस एक बात खटक रही थी की निशा ने उसे पेहली बार देखते ही हाँ कह दिया था।शादी के दिन उसकी खुशी तो मानो ऐसी थी की जैसे सदीयों तक इंतझार कीया हो उसने जिगर का। खटक ने वाली खुशी तो सास- ससुर की थी! गुब्बारे की तरह फूले नही समा रहे थे दोनों।

 

पर फिर जिगर को लगता की शायद यह उसका एक भ्रम मात्र था। उसने कहीं पढा था की जिन मर्दों की बीवी बहोत ही खूबसूरत हों, वे मर्द अक्सर ' inferirity complex' का शिकार हो जाते हैं।

लेकिन उस दिन तो हद ही हो गयी। जब जिगर ने उस युवान को अपनी सोसायटी में पाया। दिमाग फिर से उबल पडा। फिर तो दूधवाले की दुकान पे, पान के गल्ले पर भी वो दिखई पडा। जिगर ने उनसे कुछ मालूमात हांसिल करने की कोशिश की। मालूम कुछ भी नहीं पडा। सिवाय के 'नये नये आयें हैं।'

१० दिन बाद जासूस आया। मानो खबरों का पिटारा लाया। " निशा जी को शादी से पेहले किसी लडके सप्रेम था। मगर वह दूसरी ज्ञाति का होने की वजह से उनके परिवार को पसंद नहीं था। मना करने के बावजूद न मान ने की वजह से उसे मार दीया गया। उसका नाम शेखर था।"

" तो फिर ये कौन नया पंछी है?"

जासूस ने एक तस्वीर थमा दी।

"क्या मझाक है ये? " जिगर उछल पडा। ये वही तस्वीर थी जो जिगर ने जासूस को दी थी।

"वह मर के वापस आया है। तो खाली हाथ तो नहीं जायेगा। या तो ये निशाजी को साथ ले जायेगा या आपको कहीं भेज देगा।

जिगर को तो मानो साँप सूंघ गया।

थोडे ही घंटो बाद जिगर एक बाबा के सामने बैठा था।म्रुतक की आत्मा को कैद करने के लीये बाबाने हवन चालु किया था। आग जल रही थी। धुंआँ उठ रहा था। मंत्र चल रहे थे। सामग्रीयां हवन में जा रहीं थीं।थोडी ही देर में जिगर की पलकें भारी होने लगीं। ना चाहते हुए भी उसकी आँखे बंद हो गयीं।

जब जिगर की आँख खुली तो उसने बाबा को बोलते हुए सुना," मैने अपना वचन निभाया अब तुम अपना वचन निभाओ।

"जरुर। क्यों नहीं।" खड़्ग़ उठाते हुए शेखर बोला। "अगर आप ज्यादा शक्ति की लालच में मेरी मदद कर सकते हो तो तो कल को इसकी भी करोगे।" और बाबा का सर हवन कुंड मे लुढ़्क गया।

जिगर बेचारा क्या करता? वह तो खुद एक बोतल में बंद था। और शेखर जिगर के शरीर में।

*) – Fight for the Right

(Mohit Sharma)

Yark aur Rezadh desh k beech tanaav ek baar phir jung mey tabdil ho gaya tha. Rezadh desh muqable mey hamesha se kamzor raha tha aura b tak hui kuch ladaiyon mey Yark desh ne is baat ka faayda utha kar Rezadh ki kaafi zameen hadap li thi. Yark par 40 saalo se raj tha ek tanashah Swamley ka jo apna raj badhane k liye koi bhi raasta apnane k liye taiyaar rehta tha. Sirf Rezadh hi nahi apnea as-paas k aur kuch desho se bhi Yark desh k rishte talkh hi rahe the in 4 dashako mey. Yark ne fitrat k mutabik ek baar phir hamla kar diya tha Rezadh par.

Brigadier Adam Castro k netratva mey Rezadh ki ek badi tukdi mahatvapoorna morche par dati hui thi. Apne sainiko mey ek ka ajeeb bartaav dekh Adam bifar pade.

“Aakhir tumhe ho kya gaya hai D1 (Gary), drills mey tum best perform karte the but tumhare chehre par ye chinta aur shareer mey itni harkaten kyu ho rahi hai? Kya asli dushman k saamne tumhare honsle past ho gaye hai? Lagta hai tum baton aur practice k sher ho bas!”

“Sir, meri pant kuch ghus gaya hai jo neeche se kaatna shuru karte hue dheere dheere upar ki taraf badh raha hai. Dard ki intensity se lag raha hai ki wo is Registaan ki badi makdi Grey Widow hai. Mujhe darr hai ki agar wo upar aa gayi to uska kaatna itna ghatak ho sakta hai ki meri personality amputate ho jaayegi…Sir!”

“D1…tum bunker se upar hue to tumhari khopdi ud jaayegi. Jaan pyari hai ya personality? Waise ab makdi ki location kya hai?”

“Sir, wo base k paas pahunch gayi hai. Mai aur nahi ruk sakta…”

D1 soldier uchhla aur turant dushman sniper ki goli chali. 

*FLANNNNGGGGGG*

Brigadier Adam - “Ye kaisi aawaz thi. Jaise koi ghanta baja ho….D1 tumhe goli lagi hai?”

Soldier D1 - “AAAIIIII…Haan…Sir! Base ko chhu kar gayi hai….”

Brigadier Adam - “Oh No! D1 ki personality gayi.”

Soldier D1 - “Sir bas skin gayi hai thodi… par Makdi bhi goli se ud gayi hai Sir.”

Brigadier Adam – “Blessing in Disguise D1! First Aid karke waapas bunker par lago…Pant dhang se jhaad kar aana is baar.”

Rezadh ki sena kai morcho par nakaam ho rahi thi. Unki banayi gayi neetiyan koi jasoos ya sena ka adhikaari leak kar raha tha. 

Kuch der mey 2 darjan sainiko aur kuch ghayalo ki mamooli tukdi ke saath, Major General  Gary Castro (jo Adam ka bada bhai tha), Adam ki location par pahuncha. Gary ke kandhe par goli lagi thi. Apne Bhai aur senior officer ki ye dasha dekh Adam ka manobal toot gaya.

Dono bhai is tarah milne se bhavuk the kyoki Rezadh ki behad kamzor unhe andaza ho chuka tha ki ye shayad unki aakhri mulaqat hogi. Par unke sainiko ka manobal na toote isliye dono fauji aupcharik roop se hi baaten kar rahe the. 

Gary – “Humari forces is region mey simatti jaa rahi hai. Agar aesa jaari raha to dushman Air Force ko humari army ko khatm karne ka mauka mil jaayega jo pehle se hi ginti mey dushman k muqable kaafi kum hai. Mere paas bas itne hi sainik bache the isliye mai tumhari location par aa gaya jahan humari sankhya ladne layak hai.”

Adam aur Gary apne command chamber mey gaye, aage ki ranniti banana k liye. Dono ko samajh nahi aa raha tha ki aakhir yudh se pehle aur yudh k dauraan banayi gayi mahatvapoorna yojnaye leak kaun kar raha tha? 

Thodi der baad. 

Gary – “Major, battalion ko Degree Epicentre par bheje. Purple Herons reinforcements (General’s Regiment) ki tributary banne ka order do….Major….Major…”

Transmission systems ko sambhal raha Major ektak system screens ko nihar raha tha aur uske muh se jhaag nikal rahe the.

Adam (Check karne k baad) – “Major to marne ki kagaar par hai! Sir! Shayad yahi saari information leak kar raha tha. Is ne cyanide liya hai.”

Gary – “Par achanak cyanide khaane ki kya naubat aa gayi isko?”

Adam – “Kyoki isne apna kaam kar diya hai, Border k paas lagi missiles isne humari sena k head quarters aur President ke gupt nivas (jo sirf humey pata hai) jaise mahatvapoorna thikano par chhodne k codes daal diye hai. Sab khatm ho gaya hai Sir…bas ye base aur kuch units bachi hai Major Regiment k alawa. Ye marte hue screen ki taraf kuch ishara kar gaya hai…”  

Major General Gary ne aapa kho diya aur apni pistol se mare hue Major par goliyan chala di.

Gary - “Suwar ki paidaish…..Brigadier k alawa sab khaali kar do ye control room aur bahar position lo.”

Sabke jaane k baad.

Gary – “Bachi units aur Major Regiment ko South West mey safe points jaane k codes do. Lagta hai ye territory bhi Yark k haath aa jaayegi. Par Itni jaldi mujhe haar nahi maanni…”

Adam ne units aur Major Regiment ko bataye codes diye. 

Gary – “Adam mere Bhai mai tujhe marte hue nahi dekh sakta. Tu nikal jaa yahan se, maine Bhabhi aur  tere liye paiso aur padosi desh Wrazia mey rehne ka intezaam kar diya hai. Meri chinta mat kar…Bhaag jaa mere Bhai. Mere parivaar ko bhi saath le jaana, unka khayal rakhna.”

*~~~~*

Gary haarkar baith gaya, Adam ne apne bade bhai ki aankhon mey bachpan k us din k baad pehli baar aansu dekhe the jab unke Pita Colonel John Castro…32 saal pehle Yark se jung k liye ravana ho rahe the. 8 Saal ka Gary aur 5 Saal k Adam ne unhe rone k liye kursi, mez, takiyo, gaddo ki deewaar bana di thi taaki unke papa ruk jaaye. 

Adam – “Mat jao na Papa dekho Mumma to kuch bol bhi nahi rahi hai, bas apne kamre mey ro rahi hai kal raat se. Aaj ki tarah Gary Bhaiya roz aapke liye Bread Moon ka break fast bana denge…mat jao Papa..Please…”

Gary – “Daddy aap jab kahoge mai padhunga, Mumma ki help karunga. Maa jao na Papa…”

Wo takiyo, gaddo se bani deewaar aaj John ko Dushman ki regiment se bhaari lag rahi thi. Par wo din bhi aaj ki tarah ki kroor tha. Us din bhi Rezadh ki haalat kamzor thi aur haar nischit thi. John bachcho ke gale laga raha. 

Apni biwi Martha aur bachcho se John beintiha pyaar karta tha. Wo bachcho ka bachpan dekhna chahta tha, apne parivaar k saath samay bitana chahta tha, unhe duniya ki har khushi dena chahta tha…Martha se maafi maangna chahta tha aur ek baar khul kar rona chahta tha.

Martha ne raat se khud ko kamre mey band kar rakha tha aur siskiyon ki aawazen lagataar aa rahi thi. Usme John ko vida karne ki himmat nahi thi….vida usne pehle bhi kiya tha John ko par….apne pati ko aakhri baar vida karne ki himmat shayad duniya ki kisi patni mey nahi hoti. John ne master key se ab tak band darwaza khola aur bachcho ko bahar kar phir se darwaza band kar liya.

Gary aur Adam ko andar se rote apne Mata-Pita ki aawazen aa rahi thi. Unke nanhe dimaag ye kalpana nahi kar paa rahe the ki aakhir baat kya hai? Maa to kabhi kabar ro diya karti thi par apne Pita ko rote hue sunna kuch ajeeb tha bachcho k liye. 

Dono k sapno mey rote apne mata-pita ki wo aawazen aksar goonjti thi.

Aakhirkar, John k saath Martha bahar aayi. Ab dono chup the par ek doosre ko ektak dekhe jaa rahe the jaise aankhon se zindagi bhar ki baaton ka hisaab kuch palo mey nipta den. 

Gary aur Adam ne aakhri kosish ki….Papa ne dono ko apni god mey uthakar juttha dilasa diya taaki wo nikal sake. John dono ko dekh kar soch raha tha ki inka bhavishya kya hoga? Bade hokar ye kya banenge? Kaash in sawalo k jawab usko pata hote.

“Mai waapas aaunga mere bachcho…”

Rezadh jung haar gaya aur John us raat hi apne desh k liye shaheed ho gaye.  Martha ne bachcho ki parvarish ki, unhe kaabil banaya. Par andar hi andar wo gam se khokhli hoti gayi, aksar darwaze par usko John k lautne ka intezaar rehta. Jis din usko Gary k select hone k 3 saal baad Adam k bhi army mey chunkar Lieutenant bana….Martah ko jaise license mil gaya…usne phir se wo darwaza band kar liya aur jab Gary aur Adam ne wo darwaza khola to apni maa ki lash latki paayi. Martha ne John se apne bachcho ki parvarish kar kaabil banane ka aankhon mey kiya vaayda poora kiya tha…shayad ab John se milne k liye wo aur nahi ruk sakti thi.

*~~~~*

 Tabhi dono ko wireless sandesh mila.

“Sir, humey kaafi sankhya mey sainik reinforcement mey aate dekh rahe hai. Par kai sandesho aur warnings k baad bhi wo khule maidaan mey badhe jaa rahe hai dushman ki taraf…is se wo aasani se unke target ban jaayenge range mey aane par.”

Gary – “Ye kahan se aa gaye?”

Adam – “Ye reserve forces hongi Sir jo ab sabse badi command k suppor k liye badh rahi hongi.”

Wireless k messages se pata chala ki Rezadh army ki baaki units aur Major regiment, doosre regions mey pahunch rahi hai border k paas. 

Gary – “Kaise ho gaya ye sab? Ab kaun gaddar bacha reh gaya. Hum dono ne unhe surakshit rakhne k liye alag location coordinates diye the.”

Adam (Gary par Gun taante hue)– “Coordinates maine badle the Bhaiya…taaki humari bachi units surakshit rahen aur aapke dwara dushman ko chinhit kiye safe points par jaakar mare na jaaye.”

Gary – “Tune..par…kyu…Bhai…”

Adam – “Natak mat karo Bhaiya…shaq to mujhe aapke yahan aane par hi ho gaya tha, aapki location aesi nahi thi jo Yark ka aapki itni badi unit par aesa hamla hota ki bas kuch jawan bachte. Dushman ki range border aura as-paas k elako mey hai, desh ke itne andar nahi jahan aap logo ki gupt location thi..Ek baat aur missile chalane k aur gupt locations k codes Major rank k operator k paas nahi hote…haan Major General k officer k paas hote hai. Aapne hi Major ko cyanide ki syringe lagayi codes dene k turant baad taaki wo kuch samajh na paaye…Marne se pehle uski ungli apne Cuban Cigar ki taraf thi….Fidel Castro…Castro…Gary Castro…Castro…”

Gary – “Ab tu sab samajh hi gaya hai to Bhai tu natak mat kar aur sachchai ko dekh…Yark is baar koi territory nahi balki poora Rezadh hadapne badh raha hai…aage tera parivaar hai, mera parivaar hai. Hum dono ko jeena hai. Mai apne bachcho ko waise nahi chhod sakta jaise Papa humey chhod gaye the. Ek jhooth ke sahare…maine Papa ka bahut intezaar kiya par phir dil ko manaya ki Papa ka wo jhooth mai apne parivaar se nahi dohraunga chahe desh se gaddari karni pade. Dono desho mey phir se tanaav k baad, Yark ka Tanashah Swamley Rezadh army k aese bade officers ki taak mey tha jo us se mil jaayen. Mujhe pata tha ki ab bhi haar nishchit hai isliye ye raasta chuna.”

Adam – “Bhaiya…desh k kai parivaaro aur anginat vaayde poore rahe isliye fauji aksar apne parivaar aur vaayde adhure chhod dete hai….Papa se maine ye baat seekhi hai par shayad aapne nahi. Maaf karna Bhaiya…Desh se gaddari karne k jurm mey mai aapko bandi bana raha hun….”

Gary ne asavdhaan Adam ko ek vaar mey chit kar uski gun us se door kar di aur mare hue major ki LMG Adam par taan di.

Gary – “Mujhe pata tha ki tu nahi maanega….mujhe yahan se jaldi nikalna hai nahi to Yark Air Force k hamle mey maara jaunga. Tune aur teri vatan parasti ne pehle hi mera bahut samay barbaad kar diya hai.  tujhe maarne se pehle tujhe ye tassalli de dun ki tere parivaar ko mai sahara dunga. Maaf kar de Adam…Alvida!”

Gary ne trigger daba diya. Adam ne kahin padha tha ki maut se pehle har cheez dheemi gati se hoti hai aur apna jeevan ghoom jata hai aankhon k saamne. 

Uski taraf badhti goliyon ki raftaar to dheemi ho gayi thi par uski aankhon k saamne uska jeevan nahi ghuma yaani abhi maut nahi aayi thi. Par kuch palo tak khade rehne k baad usko laga ki goliyan wakai ruk gayi hai hawa mey. Gary bhi awak khada Adam k peeche kuch dekh raha tha. Adam ko apne kandhe par ek haath mehsoos hua….us kamre mey dono k alawa kaun tha? Sab to Gary k orders par bahar chale gaye the? Kya Major zinda tha? Usne palat kar dekha to wo chaunk kar zameen par hi baith gaya.

“Maine kaha tha na Bachcho mai waapas aaunga…”

John Castro ki jeeti jagti lash apni fauji vardi aur bandook mey khadi thi. Adam-Gary ki dhundli yaaden jaise taza ho gayi. 

“….aur Gary, maine jhooth nahi bola tha.”

Itna kehkar John ne Gary par goliyan chala di aur Gary mar gaya. 

“Wo reinforcement force nahi Adam pehle ki jungo mey mare gaye sainik hai jo poore Rezadh par sankat dekh kar dobara aaye hai.” 

Ab kamaan Adam ne sambhal li. Ab sainiko ki sankhya Rezadh ki zyada thi par Adam chhupkar bachaav k paksh mey tha. Lekin murde sainik kisi aadesh ka palaan nahi kar rahe the wo apni purani rifles, revolvers liye badhe jaa rahe the. Yahan tak ki uske pita John ne bhi us se vida li. Adam unhi 5 saal k bachche si nazron se John ko dekh raha tha…

John – “Beta, tu bada ho gaya hai ab god mey nahi utha sakta…galey mil kar kaam chala le….ha ha ha…”

Adam muskuraya…aur John ne us se waise hi aankhon mey sadiyon ki baaten kar di jo kabhi jaate waqt usne Martha se ki thi.

Jiska darr tha wahi hua aur Yark ki Air Force ne maidaano mey badh rahe murde sainiko par bombs barsaye…maidaan dhue se bhar gaya. Adam ko yakeen tha ki sabke chhitade ud gaye honge. Par jab dhua chhanta to nazaara behad bhayanak tha kyoki kate pair, Bina sar kay dhadd, shatigasth haath......yaha tak ki alag hui aankhien bhi Yark ki seema uar uske sainiko ki taraf badh rahi thi. Ye nazara to morche par bache Rezadh kay sainiko ki bhi saansen rook raha tha.

Jald hi Murdo nay Yark k sainiko par paar paa liya. Par phir bhi sabhi murda shareer shatigrast haalat mey badhe jaa rahe thay......pata nahi kya thi unki manzil.....wo sabhi har baadha ko par kar aur hazaro kilometeres ka safar tayy karke pahunche uss bunker tak jaha Yark ka shashak Swamley chuppa hua tha. Murde zameen mey sama gaye aur bhumigat buker kay neeche se nikle. Swamley aur uske bade officers  ko bahut buri maut kay ghaat utaara gaya. Agle din seema rekha kay nishaan 32 saal pehle waale the aur Rezadh ko apni khooyi zameen aur sammaan waapas mil gaya tha. Adam ne apne bachcho se waapas lautne ka vaayda nibhaya aur Gary ka parivaar bhi apna liya. 

The End!

Judging 

Mr. Mayank Sharma –

Shaq

Rating - 50/100

Judge’s Comment – Interesting but author relied on one angle and for me such theme requires more detailing and angles. Story is not balanced and is bottom heavy with a magic trick snap effect in the end. this is like an average laghu katha for me.while I agree ending is the key but balance is equally necessary.

Fight For the Right

Rating – 85/100

Judge’s Comment – USP of the story is its setting, twists. scene of John leaving for war was something special. Climax is treat And the dialogues fantabulous is the word especially these, 

“Marne se pehle uski ungli apne Cuban Cigar ki taraf thi….Fidel Castro…Castro…Gary Castro…Castro…”(master stroke)

“Bhaiya…desh k kai parivaaro aur anginat vaayde poore rahe isliye fauji aksar apne parivaar aur vaayde adhure chhod dete hai….”

“Par jab dhua chhanta to nazaara behad bhayanak tha kyoki kate pair, Bina sar kay dhadd, shatigasth haath......yaha tak ki alag hui aankhien bhi Yark ki seema uar uske sainiko ki taraf badh rahi thi.”

FA Gang Stuffs Team - 

Fight For The Right by Mohit Sharma

(Avg. Panel Score : 67)

"Story is nice with nicer imagination, but we were struggling to visualize the scenes while going through it. There were points we had to reread paragraphs to check out if we read is perfectly or misunderstood. The whole story went in a single flow. The arrangement of the plots and writing pattern could have made it way more interesting that it is right now."

शक by Prashant Vasava

(Avg. Panel Score :60)

"Nice story and fine writing style with almost even pace. Try playing with the pace, necessary in case of a suspense/mystery stories. The climax was unpredictable yet less enjoyable. The reason behind is (we believe) that we couldn’t find much reason to let ‘Jigar’ be trapped nor was the death of the Tantrik was justified. Give time to justify the characters and their actions."

Final Composite Rating :

Mohit Sharma –  76/100

Prashant Vasava – 55/100

Result – Mr. Mohit Sharma wins the match & qualifies for Quarter Finals. Mr. Prashant Vasava is eliminated from the tournament.

Judges – Mr. Mayank Sharma (Author) & FA Gang Stuffs Group headed by Miss Simmi Singh (Artist, Author & Social Activist).