Round 2 (Match # 10) - Mehfooz Ali vs. Aman Kumar

*) - Ankahee

(Mehfooz Ali)

 

Aaj tumhari bahut shiddat se yaad aa rahi hai.shayad aaj tum bhi mujhe yaad kar rahi ho isiliye mera yeh aalam hai.kyunki kahi padha tha ki dil ko dil se raah hoti hai.jab ek dil doosre ke liye tadapta hai to uska dard doosra dil mahsoos karta hai.aaj pata nahi tumhara dard mera dil mahsoos kar raha hai ya phir tum mere dard se aashna ho rahi ho.mein nahi janta ki in dono me se kaunsi soorat sahi hai.mein yeh jaanna bhi nahi chahta.mein to aaj bas tumhari yaadon mein khud ko gum kar lena chahta hoon.tumhari yaadon mein kahi door nikal jana chahta hoon.itni door ki mein wapas na laut sakun.lekin tumhari yaaden hi mujhe aisa karne se rok rahi hain.wo pal yaad aa rahe hain jab tum mere saath thi.

Yaad aa rahi hain wo baatein jo kabhi tumne mujhse kit hi.

Yaad aa rahi hain wo jaghen jaha hum milte the.

guzra hua waqt meri aankho ke samne phir se chal raha hai.

Woh bhi kya din the.

Aah,yeh khushiyon ke lamhe gham ke daur me yaad karne se dard or kyu badh jata hai.

mein nahi janta ki is waqt tum mere bare mein kya soch rahi hogi lekin me yeh janta hoon ki is waqt mein kya soch raha hoon.mein tumhe soch raha hoon.sirf tumhe.tumhari yaadon k nasha mere sar chadhkar bol raha hai.

Wo bhi kya din the,kya waqt hua karta tha

Jab wo pehron hi mere paas raha karta tha

Khatm hi nahi hoti thi kabhi baaten uski

Mein pyar se usko baatooni kaha karta tha

Wakai,tum jab bolti thi to bahut bolti thi.mann karta ki tumhe aise bolte hue bas dekhta jaun.dekhta jaun.or tum yun hi bolti raho.bahut sara waqt isi tarah guzar jaaye.

Kisi baat par tumhara bhonhe sikodna to kisi or baat par khilkhilakar has dena.

Kisi baat par mujhe gusse se ghoorkar dekhna to kisi baat par mujhe dheere se dhakka dena.or tumhara wo dheere se dhakka dena mujhe yeh ahsaas karata ki tum mere kitne kareeb ho.

hum dono hi shayad pagal the.pagal hi the jo nahi jante the ki jawani ki dehleez par khade hokar hamara yun milna kisi ko bhi khatak sakta hai.lekin us waqt hame kuch dikhai deta to wo hum dono the.ghanto ek duje se baat karte rehte or phir sochte ki itna waqt kaise guzar gaya.kisi ne theek hi kaha tha ki khushi ke pal bahut jaldi guzar jaate hain.

Baaz aukaat to dhal jaati thi shab baton mein

Yun mein har gham se begana raha karta tha

Or phir hum bade hue.bade hue to bandishe lagi.pehre lagaye gaye.dono ko milne se rokne ke liye tarah tarah ke jatan kiye gaye jo ki kuch had tak kamyab bhi rahe.humari itni bhi umar nahi hui thi lekin gharwaalon ki paabandiyon ne hume waqt se pehle samajhdar kar diya.agar hamare rakeeb aisa na karte,to ho sakta hai hum itni jaldi ek doosre ke kareeb na aate.ho sakta hai hum bas dost banker hi reh gaye hote.

Par aisa nahi hua.or unki inhi harkaton ki wajah se ab hamara ek doosre ke liye nazariya hi badalkar reh gaya.tumhari aankhon mein ab mujhe dekhte waqt ek haya ka ahsaas aane laga.or meri karguzariyon mein bhi ek jhijhak ka andaz aa gaya.shayad isiliye hum pyar ko waqt se pehle kar bethe.haan,shayad isiliye hum ek doosre ke or bhi kareeb ho gaye.hum ab bhi milte lekin tanhai mein. hum ab bhi baatein karte lekin chhupkar.tum ab pehle ki tarah lagatar nahi bolti lekin jo bolti wo mere dil pe chhap sa jata.

Uski har baat se aati thi wafa ki khushbu

Uski aawaz pe mein roz jiya karta tha.

Jis din tumse meri baat nahi hoti thi us din aisa lagta tha ki mein is duniya mein hi nahi hoon.koi khala hai jaha mein bhatak raha hoon.ya koi andhera gehra kuan hai jaha mein girta chala jar aha hoon.or phir jab tum mujhse mukhatib hoti to mein wapis is duniya me aa jata.aisa lagta ki mein zinda ho gaya hoon.mujhme dobara jaan daal di gayi hai. Kabhi waqt ka takaza hota to maheene bhar hamari baat mumnik na ho pati.us 1 maheene mein mujhpe kya guzarti usko bayan karna mushkil hai.iska ahsas to wahi kar sakta hai jispe kabhi yeh kayamat guzri ho. Mere naraaz hone par tum mujhe kaise samjhati.or kitni khoobsoorti se mujhe baton mein lagakar mere guzishta dino ka jayza leti.tumhe meri kitni fikr thi.iska ahsas mujhe shayad tab nahi tha.meri har chhoti badi zaroorat ka khayal rakhna jaise tumhara farz tha.phir mujhpe hak jatakar hukm chalana mein kaise bhool sakta hoon?

Din maheeno me badle or maheene saalon mein.waqt apni raftaar se guzarta raha or hamara pyar pehle se zyada gehra hone laga.aisa nahi ki is beech humme sabkuch theek hi raha.kai baar hamari baatcheet band hui.kai baar jaanboojhkar ek doosre ko andekha bhi kiya.lekin wo sab hamare pyar ko or gehra karta gaya.or ab to tum wo bhi samajh jati thi jo ki mein keh bhi nahi pata tha.or mein bhi tumhari ankahi khwahishon se baakhabar tha.

Hame shayad is baat ki bhi pareshani nahi thi ki hamare in jazbon ka anjam kya hoga.hum jante the ki hamare gharwale hamare dilon ka bhed jante hain or wo hamare khilaf koi faisla kabhi nahi le sakte.Unke liye hamari khushiyan hi sabse awwal hain.wo kabhi hamari sath aisa nahi karenge

Lekin aisa hua.faisla liya gaya.

Wo faisla jisne hamari takdeeren hi badalkar rakh di.jisne zindaagi ke liye hamara nazariya hamesha ke liye badalkar rakh diya.wo din kisi kayamat se kam to hargiz na tha jab tumhare bare mein yeh faisla hua ki tum meri nahi hogi.

Kya wakai ek sagai ki anghhoothi tumhare dil se mujhe nikalne ke liye kafi thi?

Agle din jab chori chupe tum mujhse milne aayi to tumhari aankhen pichli raat ki kahani bayaan kar rahi thi.mujhe laga ki mera dil kisi ne mutthhi me lekar zor se bheench diya.mere haath par apna haath rakhkar ulta tumne mujhe dilasa diya ki sab theek ho jayega.hum phir ek ho jayenge.gharwale samajh jayenge hamare pyar ko or wo hamari khushiyon ke aage apna faisla badal lenge.us pal mujhe laga ki tumhe hamare pyar pe kitna yakeen tha.is sabke baavjood bhi tumhe  lagta tha humare sath galat nahi hoga.

tum aksar kaha karti ki jinke jazbe sacchhe hote hain unhe kisi se darna nahi chahiye.lekin pata nahi kyun jab us din tum ja rahi thi to mujhe pehli baar yeh laga ki mein tumhe aakhiri baar dekh raha hoon.mujhe laga ki hum ab kabhi nahi mil payenge.or hamara sath bas yahi tak tha.kya ek hi raat ne mere jazbon ki sachhai par zang laga di thi?

Or is soch ne meri aankho se aansuon ka selaab umad pada.me bahut der talak yoonhi rota raha.

tum chali gayi or sath me hi chali gayi meri saari khushiyaan jo tumse wabasta thi.

Din phir maheene bane or maheene saal lekin tumhe bhoolkar bhi meri yaaad naa aayi.mera dar hakeekat mein badal gaya.is beech mene jane kitni baar tumse rabta kayam karne ki koshishen ki.lekin har baar nakam raha.tum meri zindagi se aise chali gayi jaise ki kabhi thi hi nahi.kabhi sochta ki shayad aaj tum mujhe pukarogi.mujhe guzre dino ki manind samjhaogi ki sab theek ho jayega.

hum phir ek ho jaayenge.

Gharwale hamari baat ka maan rakh lenge.

lekin aisa kabhi nahi hua.tumne mujhse baat tak nahi ki.shayad gharwalo ne tumhe kisi baat par majboor kar diya tha.haan shayad aisa hi hua hoga.

Lekin mein kya karta?tumse alag rehne ka tasavvur hi dimaag jhinjhod deta tha or ab to wakai tum mujhse alag ho gayi thi.

Jaane kyun chord gaya hai wo mujhe dasht-e-gham mein,

Bhool kar bhi to na mein usko khafa karta tha.

Ab mein roodad-e-gham-e-zeest sunaun kisko,

Dil ki har baat mein tumhi se to kiya karta tha.

Or aaj itni muddat baat tumhari khabar aayi.suna hai tumhari shadi ho rahi hai.usi shakhs se jiske naam ki anghoothi tumhari ungli mein itne saalon se saji hai.ek pal ko laga ki jism se jaan hi nikal gayi,lekin nahi.jaan to usi waqt nikal gayi thi jab tum mujhse juda hui.jab pehli baar berukhi me tumne mujhse kaha ki ab hamara koi wasta nahi.

kya yeh tum hi thi?

tum,jisne mujhe bure daur me bhi muskurana sikhaya.

Tum.jisne kabhi mazaak mein bhi mujhse aise lehje me baat nahi kii.

kitni asaani se tumne keh diya ki ab hamari raahen ek nahi.sach mein hamari raahen alag alag thi lekin hamari manzil to ek ho sakti thi.mein tumko pa leta ya tum mujhe.baat to ek hi hoti.

Lekin yeh ho na saka.

Kabhi sochta hoon to bahut door talak nikal jata hoon tumhari mohabbat ki chhaanv mein.itni door ki wapis aate hue dar lagta hai.khayalon ki duniya se nikalne ko jee nahi chahta.lekin sachhai kuch or hai.sachhai yahi hai ki tum ab meri nahi ho sakti.tumne halat se samjhota kiya or mein na kar saka.isiliye tum aage nikal gayi or mein abhi bhi usi raahguzar pe tumhara muntazir hoon jaha ab kabhi tumhara guzar nahi hoga.

kitna pagal hoon mein bhi.

nasamajh.

Jo aaaj tak yeh na samajh saka ki tumhe aana hota to kab ki aa chuki hoti.kabhi ki meri zindagi tumhare aane se roshan ho gayi hoti.mein janta hoon ki tumhara aana ab mumkin nahi.lekin is dil ko ek ummeed hai.sabkuch jante hue bhi yeh tumhare aane ka muntazir hai.

Isko ab bhi lagta hai ki tum lautkar aaogi.

Phirse meri ho jaogi.lekin yeh dil ke apne marhale hain jinko wo kabhi paar nahi paa sakegha.sach hai ki tum wapis nahi aa sakogi.

Par is sach ke saath yeh bhi sach hai ki ek namaloom ummeed to rakkhhi ja sakti hai.

tumhare lautke aane ki ummeed.

Jo bhi dukh yaad na tha yaad aaya.

Aaj kya jaaniye kya yaad aaya.

Yaad aaya bichadna tera.

Phir nahi yaad ki kya yaad aaya.

END-

1.Last ka sher Janaab Ahmad Faraaz ka hai.

2.beech ki shayri Zoobieen Qamar ki.

Ideas to bahut the is topic ke liye lekin jab bhi likhne bethta to likha nahi jata.yeh bhi maloom nahi ki isko kaise likh diya.pata nahi mein apni koshish me kitna kamyaab hounga lekin ek baat mein janta hoon.bahut dino ke baad kuch dil se likha hai.ab aage kismat. 

Rating - 47/100

Judge's Comment - Mehfooz padh ke laga yeh ishq mushq aapki genre nahi. Ruki dishaheen rachna. Yeh entry theme ke najdik he isliye aap vijeta hai. 

*) - Maa ki Mamta

(Aman Kumar)

Shobha ko samajh ni aa rha tha ki wo khush hoye ya roye ek taraf jha use beta paida hua tha wohi dusri taraf turant bad uske pti ramesh ka accident ho gya tha aur vah duniya ko alvida kah gya tha.ghar ka gujara mushkil se chalta tha. Ab is bhari mahfil me uske navjat bache ke alava koi ni tha. Shobha ko is waqt sahas se kam lena tha aur apna sara dhyan navjat bache ke palan poshan par lgana tha. dusro ke ghar par naukrani ka kam karti aur jo milta usse kisi tarah din gujar rhe the. Is tarah kayi saal bit gye. Shobha ek ek pai(rupye) jodkar apne bete manoj ko school padne ke liye bhejti thi taki uska ladka pad likh kar badiya sa naukri kar le. Iske liye shobha ko kayi rate bhukhe pet sokar gujarni padi thi.

Manoj ab 13 saal ka ho gya tha aur uski mange kafi bad gyi thi use ghar ke halat se kuchh lena-dena nhi tha.use to apne dosto ke sath masti karna tha bhale hi uski maa khi se bhi paiso ka intzam kre. Bechari shobha bhi apne jigar ke tukde ki har farmaish puri karti thi aur use kuchh nhi bolti thi iske liye use na subah me chain milta tha na rat ko. Diye ki roshni me vah kapde sila karti thi. Isi tarah din nikalte chale gye aur manoj ne apni padayi puri kar ek achi si naukri pa li.

Shobha khush thi ki uske garibi ke din ab gye aur use dusro ke ghar jhadu-phochha ni karna padega. Par shobha ki ye soch jaldi hi badal gyi jb uske bete manoj ne use akela chhod shehar chala gya. Shehar me vah buri lat me pad gya aur usne ganv me apni maa ko kabhi paise bhi nhi bheje. Shobha yehi sochti ki shayad ek do dino me dakiya aaye par aisa hota nhi aur shobha ye sochkar shant rahti ki shayad uska laal kam me bajha(busy) hua hone ke karan paise nhi bheje hone. 5 saal guzar gye par kabhi dakiya nhi aaya. Ek subah sobha ko kisi ke rone ki aawaj sunayi di to vah jagi to dekhi ki manoj uske samne baitha ro rha hai. shobha ka hridya buri tarah dar gya usne manoj se iska karan janna chaha.

'Maine shehar me karj liya tha jise mai vapas nhi de paya samay par aur ab un logo ne mujhe dhamki di hai ki agar mai 2 din me paise ni diye to wah log mujhe markar mere ango ko bechkar apni rakam hasil kar lenge. Bachne ka koi rasta na sujhta dikha to mai yhan bhag aaya par wo yahan bhi aa jayenge aur mujhe mar denge.ab ek hi rasta hai unke karj ko chukane ka' manoj ne kha.

'Kya?' shobha ne bachaini me puchha.
'ye...yehi ki is ghar(property) ko bechkar unka karj lauta diya jaye.' manoj ne kha.
Shobha ek pal ke liye asamnjas me pad gyi use nirnay lete na ban rha tha aakhir is ghar se uski kayi yade judi thi. Uske pti ki yade. Par agle hi pal bete ki salamti ke liye usne ha kar di.

Bechari shobha ko kya pta tha ki manoj to sirf bahana bna rha tha taki us ghar ko bech ske aur un paiso se masti kar ske.manoj ko apni ma se koi matlab ni tha uski ma mare ya jiye, use koi fark ni tha. Wah ghar bechkar vapas shehar chala gya apni ma se ye kahkar ki ek do dino me wah use lene aayega. Shobha uski bato me aa gyi. Par manoj ko vapas na aana tha so na aaya aur uski ma uski rah takti rhi.khule me ped ki chhanv ke niche kisi tarah jiti rhi ki ek din uska beta wapas aa jayega. Idhar manoj ab aur bhi jyada sharab peene lga tha.

Pagar ka paisa pahle din hi khatam ho jata tha.is karan uski patni bhi use chhodkar mayke chali gyi thi. Ab waqai me manoj par karja lad chuka tha jise dene me vah asamarth tha. Use rah rahkar apni ma ki khi bate yad aane lgi ki bachpan me maa usse kha thi 'mera raja beta pad likhkar khub bda aadmi bnega aur shaan se rhega'. Use apni halt par taras aata tha aur dikkar bhi ki usne apne ma ko kabhi mahtva ni diya.uske niswarh pyar ko kabhi samjha ni. Wah bechari kisi tarah gujara karti rhi par uske har sapne ko pura karti rhi. Jabki wah(manoj) kabhi bhi apni maa ko sukh ni de paya. Usne nirnay kiya ki wah apni ma se milkar apne har kukarmo ki mafi mangega. Aur wah ganv vapas aa gya.

Par ab kafi der ho chuki thi uski ma mar gyi thi. Ganvwalo se use pta chala ki bahar barsat ke mausam me sone me sone ke karan uski tabiyat kharab ho gyi aur 2-4 dhino me chal basi. Usne ganv walo se aagrah kiya tha ki uske bete ko na btaya jaye kyuki wah khud mushkil me tha aur wah uski mushkil aur badana nhi chahti thi.

Manoj to jaise jad sa ho gya use kuchh samajh ni aaya ki ye sab kaise ho gya. Uski nadaniyo ke wajah se uski ma mar gyi par marte time bi uski ma ko uski fikr thi. Use rah rah yehi bat yad aa rhi thi- ma ki tarah nishwarth prem aur koi ni kar sakta.koi nhi.

Rating - 44/100

Judge's Comment - Aman beshak kahani marmsparshi he par lekhan me dhar ki avashyakta hai bandhu.

Result - Mr. Mehfooz Ali wins the match and enters the next round, Aman Kumar is eliminated from the tournament.

Judge - Mr. Pankaj Vijayvargiya (Author, Musician & Entrepreneur)