*) - Rituals
(Daud Zaidi)
Prologue >>
‘It’s a fine
evening my boy’, said Professor to his dog whose collar chain he was holding
and walking in the park. Professor was a middle aged man around 45 years,
height about 6’ 2’’.
“Prof.?”,
asked a man, who was sitting on the nearby bench he was passing.
“Yes
Please?”, replied professor.
“Sir, you
are the one that brought some scientific evidence against the rituals of chlonars?”
“Yeah, but I
am not in a mood of interview please, you could read my whole research on my
blog”
“You got me
wrong, sir actually I also found strong evidence. You could have a look at it,
if you want. My house is 3 blocks down that street. Maybe it could help you in
nailing them. ”, said the man pointing towards the street.
“Let’s, see
it. By the way, what do you say your name was?”, asked professor moving fast with
curiosity.
“I never
told my name”, replied man with stern smile “but you can call me Raka”
After few
minutes, professor was looking at some pictures, sitting on the desk. His face
was red with anger and fear.
“How much
time did I have?”, asked professor with shaking voice.
“Sorry, but
your time is over!”, said Raka , he pulled out a spear whose tip was shining
like diamond and Professor could see the spear moving toward his heart. He was
unable to move with fear. Within a flash of second, there was pure line of
blood over Raka’s shirt. And professor could feel no more.
Chapter 1: Investigation >>
“What seems
to be the time of the death”, asked the detective in a horrified tone.
“From its
body temperature we could make out that its probably 4 hours back”, replied Robert,
the forensic assistant turning the body the other way wearing gloves in his
hand”.
Feeling of
grief could be seen clearly from detective’s face. He could see body lying
lifeless on the floor. He could clearly see the blood coming out from her
chest. On having a closer inspection he was quiet amazed to see the long wound
which was left in place of heart. His clever eyes were busy in guessing the
shape of the weapon which would have pierced her soft body.
“Her heart
is missing sir”, a voice shattered his thoughts.
“w..what??”
“Yes sir,
and we could depict the shape of the weapon too, once we take the body to the lab.”
“it’s a
spear son, nevertheless you can take the body to the lab”, replied Detective
and turned toward the young man who was staring the body and weeping quietly.
He was in around twenty five, wearing spectacles with a toned body.
“I shouldn’t
have let my mom alone, Sir”, he said in sobbing voice to Detective.
“Don’t worry
my son. I will not let the killer get away”, consoled Detective offering him a
tissue.
“Just tell
me what happened?”, he added.
“I went to meet Shweta, my girlfriend. We were
having a plan for movie this Saturday night.”
“Which
show?”
“As usual,
9-12. Then I dropped her at her house and when I came back home. I saw my mom
lying on the floor, dead. I just called police.”
“Is there
anyone whom you think to be the culprit?”
“No, she
does not have any enemy. But she was tensed this week”
“Why do you
think this tension would be?”
“I don’t
know but maybe it could be due to the arrival of Varun’s family last week. He
is not having good relations with us since couple of years.”
“I hope He
is not involved in this.”
“Yeah! Uncle,
Varun and Tarun gave threats to my mom over a little issue.” The boy replied.
“and please
let me know of any information if you get.” he added.
“Well I ‘ll
let you know about any progress regarding this”, he said.
“And Robert
you just investigate in the houses nearby, check if anything comes out”, said
detective to his assistant
Chapter 2 : Murder >>
“Why would
someone kill your mother?? So brutally?
It doesn’t make sense”, asked Shweta walking with Kasha in the park.
“Detective
is investigating it. He promised me, to bring her to justice”, replied Kasha.
“Don’t worry.
He will find killer soon”, convinced Shweta “I am also keen on becoming
detective”. She added trying to divert Kasha’s mind from her mother’s case. She
knew his boyfriend was in grief after her mother’s death.
“Oh! Is that
so? I will introduce you to him”, said Kasha
“First meet
us dear”, said a harsh voice behind her.
Kasha looked
behind to see a tall man, wearing black mask was standing with a spear in his
hand. The tip of the spear was shining brightly.
Before
anyone could move, he throws the spear at Shweta’s heart but Kasha just pushed
her and spear goes cutting a flesh from her right hand.
“You stop
the ritual. You will burn. Order must have an assassin.” Yelled the masked man
angrily.
His yelling
gave Kasha enough time to help Shweta to stand up. They both ran as fast as
they can, holding each other’s hand. The attacker jumped to lift up his spear
which was on the ground. Now the tip has trail of blood.
Meanwhile
both were running as fast as they can. Shweta could feel her breath pausing.
They could hear each other are panting. But there was no time to stop and
breath.
“That’s my
street!”, exclaimed Kasha panting.
Shweta
nodded and they hurriedly enter into the street. However, insecure they were
but they felt a circle of trust in that street. They came across a bus stop and
stand there to take a sigh of relief. Other people, who were standing there
stare them.
“I love
you”, said Shweta feeling afraid.
“I love you
too, honey and I will not let anything happen to you”
“Why were
they trying to kill me? Something you are not telling me”, asked Shweta, in
mixture of frustration and anger.
“I swear to
you I don’t know what’s happening here. Come on let’s get to my house. I will call
Police there.”
They both
cross the street watching in all directions. At last they reached the door.
Kasha pulled out the key and opened the door. They both entered the house.
Kasha switches on the lights to make things visible. Shweta sit down on sofa,
grabbing his hand and began weeping.
“I must call
my police immediately”, dialing 100.
“Home sweet
home!”, said the same voice which Kasha has heard once in the park.
Receiver
slipped away from his hands. But before he could do anything, the masked man threw
the spear into the air. There was no question of missing the target. It just
pierced through Shweta’s heart. The blood was sprouting out of her chest like
water coming out of a pipe with struck with pin. Masked man walked to get his
weapon out of the body.
Kasha picks
up a flower pot lying on table and came to hit the murderer. But before he
could hit him on his head, the attacker flipped 180 degree and caught his neck
with his hand. Flower pot slipped from his hand. He could not see anything
except the pressure of his hand on his windpipe. He could feel his end is near.
Then suddenly he could feel that his neck was loosened. He could feel that
attacker behind the mask was smiling.
“Complete
the rituals. Cut someone’s heart. Order must have an assassin”, roared the
voice behind the mask. And the world around Kasha goes blank.
Chapter Three: Order >>
“How are you feeling now”, said detective
pouring two cups of coffee from coffee machine. He came to Kasha, who was lying
on the bed and offer him coffee.
“Any leads
uncle?”, asked Kasha taking the coffee offered to him.
“Yeah, but
are you strong enough to know the truth”, replied Detective sitting down in the
chair opposite to Khasha.
“Just say
it, sir”
“Actually,
forensic report tells that a tip of something sharp was found in her body near
her heart, which was as you know, was cut out. And the same happened with
shewta too. Looks like we have got a common killer”
“I heard him
saying something about order, rituals. I need to know about what it is?”
“Okay, Here
it goes. No one knew when order of chronal was found, some say around
12-13 century. They are operating since then, hiding. They have this ritual of
extracting heart of human. They say order
must have an assassin. Only he is the one capable of doing human sacrifice.
He has this spear like weapon made of, with one blow it cuts the human heart
out and breaks it tip deliberately in victim’s body to leave it as a sign. This
order was not active since the last 100 years but once again it is active.”
“What is any
of this has to do with my mom’s murder?”
“That’s what
we’ll have to find out. I hope that prof. could tell anything about it”
“So let’s go
talk to him”
“How do you
know him?” asked detective sipping his coffee.
“I was a
great fan of him, I read it on his blog. Maybe we should go and talk to him?”
“We can’t,
because he is dead too.”
Chapter four: 36 Olla Street >>
“How, how’s that
possible”, questioned the twenty five year old.
“Didn’t you
read the news of him being killed the same way like your mother and girlfriend
did?” replied the detective.
“Oh, its
getting worse day by day, sir you need to do something. I think the same people
from the order have been doing this, didn’t they?”.
“Can’t say
till I get some strong evidence. I will go to house once again where
professor’s body was discovered”, he said and left.
It was now
the time for detective to look upon the case, which compelled him to go to the house.
It was on 36 Olla Street where he reached couple of hours later. It was really
a weird house with green gates followed by a narrow pavement which let him
inside. The house seems to be crazy at first but nevertheless was worth
watching for inspection. He soon reached main room where his dead body was
found. It smelled of paper and was mostly occupied by papers. The table of
which the professor’s body was half lying was mostly red because of blood which
was dried up.2 envelopes were lying in the drawers below. Detective hurried on
opening the envelope and soon opened the letter. His eyes started growing more
and more red as he read more of the paper. Soon after drawing some conclusion
he was about to leave that he noticed something very tiny just in front of his
foot.
“Robert ?”
“sir?”
“just take
this piece of nail and send it to forencic lab and gat me the report of DNA!
Fast.”
“Sure sir”
“And what
conclusion you drew from neighbors”
“Sir all was
almost well but there was something fishy in the cornel’s house”
“like?”
“like that
they are quiet misanthropic type of people and all they want is money. And one
more thing sir the taller of the two was having a hand injury seems like he is
doing some sort of trifling.”
“Oh!, one
more suspect.”
“Don’t you
think sir that this case is becoming more and more complicated.”
“No robbi!
Its time for pulling the veils from the face of many people”, concluded the
detective. “It is the time to reveal the truth of this enigma”
“but, how
sir ”
“That I’ll
tell you. But now you just go and test this human nail’s DNA and also bring the
reports of the professor. That’s very important”.
Soon the
detective and his assistant parted in different ways and the former hurried
towards the hurricane complex where his sister-in-law used to live. Soon he
arrived in the house but on not seeing any one he decided to visit Mr. Cornel ,
the neighbor. His house was well built and looked sturdy.
“Mr cornel”
,shouted the detective.
“Mr cornel”,
he repeated again.
The door was
wide open and he went inside the house. An air of uneasiness was spread all
over which was remarkably read by the detective.
“Any one
inside”, shouted the detective with his lungs out.
Again nobody
called out and the detective was compelled to go into the verandah followed by the
backroom. On having a closer inspection he drew out the conclusion that the
house was vacant and no living being was present. He looked with curiosity for
any clue to come up in his way where he was taken aback by the presence of
blood spots. On following them he reached towards a cupboard which to his
surprise was locked.
“Maybe
another murder?”, he pondered.
Chapter 5: Culprit >>
“All in a row,
hurry!” commanded the detective.
Detective
had called all the suspects relating with this case in the hurricane complex. There
were Kasha, Cornel, Varun, Tarun ,detective himself with assistant Robert
couple of policemen ready to grab the culprit. Detective enquired in all the
areas and got the result.
The
detective drew hard on his cigarette, took a puff of smoke out of his mouth and
then said….
“So, friends
the case goes like this. First, the murder of lady was a professional stuff. We
were talking about the death of the professor which took just the day before
yesterday. Professor was the chief of order
of chronal. And so was your mother, Kasha. That why he spared your life on
that night. And when she wants to withdrew from the order, professor decided to
kill her. He did so in order to maintain the equilibrium required by the ORDER.
The professional killing of the ORDERS can be seen from the fineness they
killed .its a well known fact that a order leaves its tip of spear in the body
of the dead in order to show their symbol and that was traced in her body. The
second death of Shewta was also done in the exact manner with a tip of spear in
her body too. But..” he stopped for a while to again drew his cigarette and
again continued
“The third
one was slight different from the first two.”
“How?”
shouted kasha.
“Relax my
lad. I am coming to that point. So the third death was different in the sense
that it didn’t have the tip of the spear.”
“What do you
mean?”
“I mean to
say that the murder of the professor was done by someone present in this room.
When I went to professor’s house to inspect, I got a small piece of nail and on
testing its dna it matches with..”
“with whom”,
cried varun
“with Kasha!!!!”
“what?”, shouted
kasha in despair.
“yes, kasha
you don’t try to be over smart. I know that you have murdered professor”
“i… i think
you might be mistaken”
“No Kasha,
you should not have done this. Now please tell the truth. You have done a great
offence.”
“HE WAS THE
CULPRIT. Not I. I went to him in order to enquire about order, rituals because
he was well known for his research for order. He was not there in his house but
there I saw a same spear and a photo of my mother and Shweta crossed with black
pen. Perhaps he was giving these to the assassins to identify the victims. I
immediately came to know that it was he who murdered my mother and my girlfriend.
He needed a punishment. Therefore, I tried to kill him in the same way he used
to kill. I took the spear and the photos I disguised myself as raka and lured
him into a house and chopped his heart off the same way he did after showing
him the photos.”
“Well my
child you should not have done this. Because, what is done can’t be undone. Things
cannot be brought back. Now you have to face severe punishment. I am really sorry
for you. This case is over.” he replied putting back his cap on his head.
“Case isn’t
over you detective”, said a cold voice behind him.
“Excuse me,
but how do you know that his mother was member of order”, the same voice added.
“who’s
that”,, replied the detective turning towards the voice.
“how did you
know that? Reply me!, Sir” asked Robert again.
“ha, you
Robert are you forgetting that you work under me”, detective replied in a
humorous tone.
“don’t you
hear me ?”, voice of Robert echoed in the room.
“i..i have
researched on it”
“You know,
they say that relations are more important than money, but you have disproved
this. Do you know Kasha, who was the assassin sent to kill your mother?? It was
him! Am I right detective?”
“What
rubbish are you talking about?”
“He was also
the member of order worked for professor.”
Everyone in
the hall, looked at the detective.
“Why?”,
asked Kasha.
“You want to
know the truth about order?, It was
founded in 12-13 century as a matter of protecting their tribe from external
conquer. They only kill who were trying to conquer their tribe. There was
ritual of killing their enemy by extracting heart. It helps to motivate other
member of the order and to create fear, so that no one would even think to
conquer them. But with time the order slightly vanished because there seems to
be no need of it. But founders of the order saw this coming. They formed a
rule. Order must have an assassin who would protect them from in
times of difficulty even the whole order is dissolved. Now after these many
years, professor researched on the order and created his own group in the name
of order. Yes! The order is fake. It was vanished hundred years ago. Professor
used order to carry out his evil intentions of smuggling of human heart. He
killed people, with the help of this detective and he took out the heart,
Cornel saved it till the buyers come. It was all pre planned”
“Have you
any evidence against me?”, said cornel trying to defend himself.
“Or perhaps,
you could open your cupboard in your backroom, police have it opened till now.”
“How do you
know all about this?” asked the detective.
“Because I am the last member of order”, replied
the assistant.
“When I
heard about the murders, I knew something was not right. There was someone who
was deceiving in the name of order. So I took the job of forensic assistant and
rest was much easy for me.”, he added.
“Put your
hands up”, commanded the inspector, “you all are under arrest”.
Epilogue
Kasha was
quietly sitting in the rock, in the jail. Suddenly the prisoner “Dada”, came and said, “You better start
paying me rent kiddo. Everybody here does.” Pinching his cheek
“Get lost”,
replied Kasha not paying attention to him
“Nobody
talks to me like that”, shouted Dada
Soon there
was crowd gather all around the two of them yelling crush him.
Kasha pulled
up the weapon he was carving from stone. It looked like spear. His face gave
cunning smile and said
“Order must
always have an assassin”
Rating – 74/100
Judge’s
Comment - You know
how to build suspense and have used it well. Pace of the story was more or less
good but we lost little bit of interest for not finding things that are new to
us. Freshness in stories comes from
unique inspiration, idea or research. Choose the path where you can find one.
Over all it was good and nicely expressed by your words.
*) - THE TWISTED VENGEANCE
(Priyashrav Bharadwaj)
Location:
Blackden Prison
Time: 6:34 PM
Welcome to the
Blackden Prison! I am an inmate here occupying Cell No. G23 under the’
Dangerously Unstable’ Ward. But don’t judge me on that for I‘m neither
dangerous nor unstable. In fact, I used to be one of the Model Prisoners
around here. Anyways, I shall be your guide to this wretched structure which
houses some of the worst specimens humanity has to offer. Some are raving
lunatics, some are calculating masterminds, and some are probably both.
But I’m not one
of them. I’m not among those who aim to survive on the two square meals they
serve in here just to somehow complete their sentence and continue from where
they left off. I’m a man of purpose. I have something to achieve in my life. Do
you know what that is?
Vengeance! On a
man named Jimmy Drakes! Jimmy
You see, my
memory has not been serving right in the last few months. Many things seem
muddled; many crucial details remain shrouded by an inexplicable fog. But my
obsession with vengeance and my hatred for Jimmy Drakes increases with each
day.
It all started
with the nightmares that began haunting me. The started as vague, broken images
but soon developed into detailed, precise sequence of events that reminds me of
a time long forgotten. I always got the feeling that I’ve lived these
nightmares somewhere in my distant past. Even as my memory fades, the
nightmares become clearer than ever.
Now it has gone
to the point where I see the visions of my nightmares whenever I close my eyes.
The nightmare is always the same now…………….
There is one
heck of downpour in a moonless night! I see myself as much younger man holding
the hand of a little kid, presumably my son. All of a sudden I see two flashing
headlights heading our way, with the screeching sound of doom. I lunge myself
from harm’s way, but I fail to save my son, who is run over by the speeding
vehicle. I see him lying on the sidewalk in a thick pool of blood. Then the
taillights of the vehicle fade into oblivion and the pouring rain washes away
all the spilled blood.
I recognized
Jimmy instantly from these visions. I don’t how or why I recognized him so I
guess I’ll have to trust my fading memory in this matter. But I just can’t
shake off the feeling that he wasn’t alone in the vehicle. A shadow keeps
appearing in the vehicle but never takes any definite form. So for now, Jimmy
Drakes is my top priority.
One day, I’ll
escape this hellhole of a prison. These walls won’t hold me for too long. And
when that happens, I shall be paying Jimmy Drakes a visit……………….
Time: 6:48 PM
I see two
Security Guards approach my cell with measured steps. They unlock the door and
throw a casual glance around the cell.
One of them
announces, “It’s time for you Therapy Session with…………..”
I interrupted
him midway through the sentence,” Yeah, I know! The good Doctor hasn’t given up
on helping me through these difficult times. Lead the way.”
I didn’t
particularly care for these Therapy Sessions with the Prison Psychiatrist. If
you ask me, he isn’t half as good as the Administration says he is. I mean,
sure he has got the degrees and qualifications, but the man’s methods and
skills leave a lot to be desired! I’ve been seeing him continuously for these
sessions for the past few months, but he hasn’t made one inch of progress
regarding my memory problem.
We entered the
Psychiatrist’s office and found him sitting on his chair, lost in
thought. He sprang from the chair the moment he saw us.
“Ah, thank you
for bringing him, gentlemen!” He said to the guards. Then he turned to me and
said, “Come, my friend! I am hoping for some real progress to be made in
tonight’s session.”
“Sure, Doctor!
Let’s just get this over with.” , I said as the Security Guards left the room
in a haste.
Location: A
vacant room of a rundown Apartment in the underbelly of the City.
Time: 11:47 pm
Whoa! I’m not
entirely sure what just happened with me. All I remember is overpowering the
Psychiatrist at the end of the session and then I managed to take him hostage!
From there instinct took over and I managed to do what no prisoner had ever
done. I escaped the Blackden! Sure I got a few bruises and my inmate outfit got
terribly torn in the process, but that was all worth it!
From there it
was a simple matter of tracking Jimmy to this seedy Apartment in the most
notorious section of the City! Everything happened so easily and flawlessly, I
think it must be my lucky day or something. I can’t believe I’m out of Blakden,
and that is Jimmy Drakes lies unconscious in front of me, ready to be sacrificed
to appease my demons of vengeance.
But my memory
has been fading rapidly since my escape! It’s a surprise I can still remember I
am Amadeus Dorian and I am here to avenge the death of my son who died because
of this man, Jimmy Drakes!
.
I have spent my
last few months in Prison preparing for this moment! Even in prison, among the
remorseless killers and shifty con-men, I had been a man with a purpose. I was
never one to waste away my life in the prison. The thoughts of vengeance always
fueled me and reminded me that I had to settle scores with Jimmy Drakes!
Today vengeance
will not elude me! I was denied all these years, but no more!
I turned
towards Jimmy and growled, “Wake up! Wake up, you filthy degenerate! You don’t
want to spend your precious last moments being unconscious, do you?
“What’s going
on? Who are you?” He screamed with barely opened eyes; unsure of what was going
on around him.
“Surprised to
see me, Jimmy? You haven’t forgotten me now, have you? I spent so much time
living the horrors of that night and yet you fail to even acknowledge
it?” Just seeing him breathe made my skin crawl.
He somehow
managed to open his eyes and was shocked to see me standing in front of him. He
whispered, “Y-you? What are you doing here?”
“Why, were you
expecting the President, by any chance? Of course, it’s I. It had to come down
to the two of us settling scores once and for all, don’t you think?” I was
getting sick of hearing him speak.
I pulled the
knife from my pocket and felt the cold touch of metal on my hands. Somehow, it
felt right! Surely the time of vengeance was near. He noticed the glean of the
knife in dim-lit room. Fear and panic had now replaced the confusion in his
eyes. I would have enjoyed this sight for a few more minutes had I not been
craving this moment for so long.
“But why are
you doing this to me ? What did I ever do to you?” His voice now louder than it
might have ever been in his entire pathetic existence. Fear has been known to
inspire a very different brand of courage.
“You have the
gall to ask this? After you maimed my life in just those few seconds?” I said,
seething with anger.
“Maimed your
life? What are you talking about? Listen, you are not in a good state of mind.
Let me help you!”
“You, Jimmy?
You help me? If you really want to help me, just shut up and let me get this
over with.”
I looked at the
knife in my hands and then looked up Jimmy’s face! It would have been an
understatement if I said he was right now too scared to speak even one word. I
clutched the knife in my hand, and prepared to channel a lifetime’s worth of
anger in one stab of the knife.
He made one
last futile attempt at pleading hopelessly, “Please! Don’t do this. Don’t kill
me, Daniel. ”
Wait, did he
just call me Daniel! I stopped at once. What’s going on, I thought. Why did he
call me Daniel? I’m Amadeus! Amadeus Dorian!
‘He is just
trying to confuse you’, I repeated in my head. There was no time to waste
thinking about this. I advanced towards him with the knife ready to make its
way into Jimmy. I was just about to rid the world of the scum that was Jimmy
when suddenly I saw all hell break loose.
I remember
dozens of Prison Guards and Policemen barging through the door. They all had
their weapons drawn and targeted towards me. A few Policemen lunged forward and
surrounded Jimmy! I guess today is not the day for my vengeance.
And then I saw
an obscured face amidst the cluster of the Security Guards. A stoic, almost
featureless face. As if it was adamant on giving nothing away as to what was
going on in the mind it cloaked.
It was the
Prison Psychologist! A man I can honestly say I don’t want anything to do with.
In fact, I never even caught his name
during our long therapy sessions………….
And then
everything came back to me in a flash! Memories that had been suppressed in the
past few months, pushed to oblivion by the thoughts of vengeance.
I am Daniel
Kint. At least that’s the name I was born with, grew up with.I don’t know how
or why I thought I was Amadeus Dorian although the name still rings a bell.
I was a
remorseless killer, bred and nurtured in this hellhole of a city. I made quite
a name for myself as a coldblooded harbinger of death! And then like a
total amateur, I made a complete mess of everything and landed in the slammer.
Only the ‘unsubstantial’ evidences kept me from getting the capital punishment.
The security
guards seized me and hastily dragged me to the Prison Van below. I saw the
Psychologist sitting at the back of the Van, eerily calm and unperturbed. His
demeanor was in complete contrast to the chaos that surrounded him, with the
Guards struggling to put me up in the Van. He signaled the guards to not to
enter the back of the Van. I guess I was getting his company on my way back to
the Prison. The Van sped off, but it failed to faze him even a bit.
He asked me,
“So you failed to get your revenge?”
I was in no
mood for this talk. So I snapped back, “What does it matter to you?
“His voice now
turned colder than the chilly wind blowing outside “What does it matter to
me!” And then, he laughed! It was a demonic laughter, capable of sending
shivers down the spine of even a remorseless killer like me.
He
continued, “I suppose now would be a good time to jog your memory a bit,
Daniel! When I was transferred to your Prison I had quickly set my eyes on you.
I knew of your reputation as a coldblooded murderer. I wanted to use you
as pawn in a little game of mine. Those long therapy sessions I spent were to
fracture your fragile psyche. Piece by piece I had to break you down! It wasn’t
easy at first but gradually I started getting results. ”
All this was a
little overwhelming for me. Somehow I managed to utter a word in response,
“Results?”
“Yes, results!
I planted thoughts of vengeance in your fractured mind, using an old hit-&-run
case where the culprit had evaded the punishment he deserved. Needless to say,
Jimmy was the said culprit. I led you to believe that you were the sole
survivor of that accident, the father of the little Joseph Dorian who died the
accident. In the mental state you were in at that time, it was a child’s play.
“He said, obviously annoyed by being interrupted in his narrative.
Something
suddenly struck me while listening to him. I read the Name tag on the
Psychiatrist’s coat. It said ‘Dr. Amadeus Dorian’! Now everything had started
falling in pieces.
“So, you were
the father who never got his justice. And when you got the charge of a Prison
full of criminals and lowlifes, you selected a random merciless killer to be
your Angel of Vengeance. To carry out the dirty work that you always wanted be
done.”
“Oh you weren’t
chosen so randomly my friend! Good lord, No! I You were chosen because you
already had an integral connection with that night’s incident. It had to choose
you for this little experiment!
“What are you
talking about?” I growled.
“When I planted
thoughts of that accident in your mind, I tweaked things a bit! You were indeed
present at the time of the accident. It was just that you weren’t holding that
little kid’ hand, you were behind the steering wheel of the car!”
I listened to
him, although I wasn’t sure I wanted to.
He continued,
“Jimmy wasn’t driving the car when it ran over Joseph Dorian that night. He
only urged the driver to get dead drunk after celebrating a successful hit in a
local bar! The car was being driven by his fellow ‘merciless killer’ Daniel
Kint who ultimately got punishment while Jimmy got out Scott-free! The
vengeance I sought was not just against Jimmy, but also against the man who now
sits in front of me and who never got the more severe punishment he deserved. I
wanted you to get rid of Jimmy and then get yourself the death sentence you
deserved for that night. During today’s session, I helped you escape; making
sure you weren’t caught in the process. I had torn the name tag from your
Prison outfit so you don’t realize you are not actually Amadeus Dorian! I tried
stalling the guards as much as possible when they set out to capture you. That
was why I came along; to make sure you manage to kill Jimmy before you are
captured. But you failed! You failed to kill him..………………”
I closed my
eyes and that night played out in my mind’s eye. I had lived this night a
hundred times in last 6 months but this time the perspectives had changed. I
was sitting inside the car this time as the car raced towards a man and his son
on the sidewalk. In my mind, could see the fear in little Joseph Dorian’s eyes
when the car approached him and his father. I could see the hatred in Amadeus’
eyes as we sped off, leaving his son dying in cold blood.
I opened my
eyes, and looked at Prof. Amadeus Dorian. I could still see traces of the same
hatred back when I left him wailing on the sidewalk, watching his son struggle
in the last few moments of life.
He had been
speaking all through this. Perhaps he wanted to get the angst off his mind and
I was the only one he could blow off his steam to. But I had no reason to
listen to what he was speaking now. All I could think of was how I spent the
last few months of my Prison time being driven by the vengeance that never was.
I had a purpose, however twisted it might be. But for a short time I was
someone with a drive which filled my emptiness. To go back to being just
another nameless killer among the many after that is perhaps the worst
punishment I could ever get. Now I’m not even sure who I am, or who I’ll be
when I get back to the prison!
He may not know
it, but it looks like Amadeus got his revenge on me after all………………………
He looked at
me, and somehow suppressing all his despise for me, asked, ”What are you
thinking about now, Daniel?”
I replied,”
Nothing, Doctor! But I have to say that you are a better Psychiatrist than I
ever thought…………… ”
Rating – 69/100
Judge’s
Comment - Writing as
a first person is quite challenging, especially when you want readers to be in
your shoes. But there can never be a perfect rule in anything creative and you
are indeed a bit different kind of author.Thus would like to say that it’s
quite nice for the way you told the story.The problem was, as it started, expectation went too high.
Result - Mr. Daud Zaidi is the winner of the match and last person to qualify for Quarter Finals. Mr. Priyashrav Bharadwaj is eliminated from Freelance Talents Championship. This also ends the campaign of Mr. Ravi Shankar (who nominated Priyashrav)
Judge - Miss Simmi Singh-FA Gang Stuffs (Artist, Author and Social Activist)
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